Getting comfortable to get out the house meeting people?

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Recently I'm finding it really stressful in my family environment and I am extremely socially isolated. So it only makes sense really to get outside more.

But I've always found it really hard to get out the house for long periods of time. A big reason I think is my special interests which involve me behind a screen all day, as well as giving in to my rituals and obsessions. My interests recently though have turned quite stale and I'm starting to get quite bored of them. Being obsessed with what I do is the reason I have very little friends now.

I do try to walk around where I live every day under a hour, but that's mostly how I spend time outside the house. I just don't enjoy going outside for many hours.

When I've tried to socialise in the past however, I always feel I can't keep up with it, and resort to being alone as I kind of like it, its one of those Catch 22's. I found people either really got to me like in annoying way or other reasons and got overloaded. I know now that I must put much more effort into it though to make it work but when I do that it feels forced and feel like someone I'm not, as I'm so used to being alone. I do wish to have friends and relationships, I struggle though to feel more comfortable finding them.

I don't like to do many things other 20 year olds may do like drinking or go to parties/bars, and there isn't much to do other than that where I live, its a very isolating place. I feel so behind others my age in terms of social status and what people typically do.

Anyone relate to this or have any advice for me? I never had a job outside house before, maybe this would help.

Thanks!

I just wanna say that I'm very sorry your having problems not having alot of friends to socialize with, I actually have the same problems as you do to this day still. I don't know if you get uncomfortable out in public or not (because if you don't you're probably more brave than half of me is) but if someone talks to you or if you talk to someone then their might be a possibility you might have a friend or not, for an example say your on your way home from nature walking & you see a guy coughing & you ask if he's okay. If you two start a short conversation then who knows you might have someone new to socialize with or not regardless to that.


One thing I recommend to be careful about how you act, you gotta learn to think before you act & you recognize signs of certain people if their trustworthy or not...mostly find someone who is empathetic & doesn't just pity you or blackmail you (I've had stupid people back high school treat me like trash & that's probably one of the reasons why people like you & me prefer to be alone). Remember that people who are ignorant, narcissistic, etc. will get karma back to them.



Here's another tip you could try....I'm currently studying to get a driver's license so that I can get a job at walmart for night shifts, if you could get a job anywhere for day or night shifts then maybe you'll end up socializing with someone new, now if you get shy/uncomfortable in public during the day easily I recommend you find a job for night shifts (because my brother works at walmart during night shifts so that's pretty much where I got the idea/inspiration from) & maybe something will happen.


I'm sorry if my comment wasn't the best but I seriously hope it helps you dude, & if you need someone new to talk I'm free anytime. Have a good day.

If you don't currently have a job, this may be a great opportunity to expand socially a bit (and get paid to do so). Something somewhat low-key may be best. Retail, working the floor (rather than a sales clerk) would be low-moderate socially and usually low-pressure (or something similar).

I did this in my younger years. Keeping shelves stocked/directing customers to the right isle worked well for me. Being a sales clerk was tough mentally/emotionally, but I did learn how to play that character pretty well while it lasted. My job after that required that I greet people. That was very tough, but the environment was inviting & friendly (I was tasked with being available to help with small issues in a business, so they were always glad to have someone check in).

I still do next to no socializing outside work (except here and occasional texts), but that's simply my preference. I don't feel so nervous about walking up to a check-out lane in the grocery store and things like that, so it's been good. Work socializing is a lot like going to the gym. If I don't maintain social skills, they'll atrophy (but I think they come back faster).

Start slow, take breaks when you can, build up.

Cheers!