How to live again?

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I'm 18 and the past 3 years of my life have, generally speaking, been awful. It started with severe anxiety 3 years ago, which led to depression and burnout 2 years ago. Then about 1 year ago I started experiencing what is called depersonalization/derealization, which I believe might be connected to my depression. During these 3 years, I have had chronic insomnia, which has gotten worse with time. This year I also began having even more negative and intrusive thoughts. Right now I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I'm not truly living, just existing.
To be fair, it has been like this for the past 2 years at least, but right now, I just feel very isolated and lost.
I feel like my mind is getting more and more blurry/numb and I literally forget everything.

I have seen several counsellors trying to help me, a therapist, I have read self-help books and tips online, but I can't seem to get better. What should I do? I'm starting to think antidepressants or other medication might be the only thing to help me, although I always wanted to avoid that. And I don't think my doctor will even prescribe this for me because I'm on the autism spectrum. In my experience, professionals tend to not take anxiety and depression seriously when you are autistic, because they're "a part of the package".

Anyway, I just feel very frustrated, alone and low right now. I'm seriously worried what will happen with me if I don't start to feel better. I sort of have a fear of eventually "going crazy". And I really do want to get better and have a normal life, do stuff and be happy! I really, really want that, but it's easier said than done. I might be self-pitying too much, but I also hate feeling like I'm wasting my youth. My teenage years have pretty much been crap.

Ps. Sorry to be so negative, I just had to get this out of my system.

Last edited by lazyflower on 12 Apr 2017, 3:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Your frustration does show. About all I can offer today is agreement that there are those times in life; I don't have a remedy for it.

Hi there,

Insomnia,lack of sleep,would only add to the mental confusion.

I personally would address that first and ask your doctor to prescribe something to help you sleep.

Be it,a short term remedy,but you really need your sleep to function.

Thanks for the reply
I have tried going to the doctor several times, but they won't prescribe me anything because I'm so young apparently.

No problem.: )

Perhaps lookup natural alternatives to help with sleep and relaxation techniques.

Any sleeping aids,prescribe by a doctor,should only be used for the short term anyway.

Don't stress about the past nor the future,just take one day at a time and remain in the present moment.

Your still young and have many years a head of you.

Try and remain positive and with little steps,things will get brighter.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/get-unstuck- ... -yourself/

That's a good tip, one that I'm still learning. Thanks!

I keep thinking of the Garth Brooks song, "Learning to Live Again" - "I'm gonna smile my best smile, and I'm gonna laugh like it's going out of style"

Without enough sleep, all my other efforts tend to be wasted. There madness lies at every turn. There are many things that seem normal now that are also serious sleep hazards. I recently noticed that the rapid scene changes so common in video now leave me agitated. If you want a re-set, I strongly recommend some weeks or months with no electricity or other mod cons. Spend significant time watching ants and clouds or surf if possible. See what you can make out of grass, and learn how to easily build a fire. Books are OK, as are journalling and drawing. Exercise can be absolutely essential to good moods, too, and junk food can be deadly. I often find my sanity on a bicycle.

I want to reiterate a few things others have said. Foremost, exercise can be really helpful in lifting and regulating bad moods. Going for a walk, taking a bike ride, and dancing are all things I have found helpful. Second, getting good sleep can help bad moods. On nights when I can't sleep, I'll make a tea blend of chamomile, peppermint, and rooibos, which is very relaxing.

Farfetched as it might sound, eliminating artificial colors, flavors, and/or gluten might be helpful. I know for some people, myself included, it can make moods go bonkers. If I have any variant of yellow or red #40, my mood tanks and I become very irritable.

It's possible to find purpose, in some constructive hobby, no matter how obscure, in which you make something, no matter how inconsequential. Set small, easy-to-accomplish goals. I have never spent any time, learning how to do something, and not been a better person for it. Don't just dabble. Try to find out what makes it good. You should ideally be able to see a result, or the evidence of your progress. It's something you can control.