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starkid
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18 Jul 2017, 9:04 pm

I realized that a person basically has to be pedantic, at least sometimes, if she only or mainly has words to rely on for communication.

Lots of people can get away with sloppy language because they don't care whether others understand their thoughts; they mainly care whether others understand their feelings. You can communicate most feelings with "body language" and emojis; the explanation of the emotional situation (and the words used to describe it) don't much matter.

To have their feelings and other subjective experiences understood, however, people do have to rely on those experiences being common enough for others to recognize (which many take for granted). Also, people communicate verbally just to bond socially, so the words are hardly important at all in that case.

On the other hand, if one wants others to understand her ideas, precise language (sometimes called "pedantic") is usually more important. Precise language is also important for describing unusual emotional and sensory experiences, particularly things NTs can't relate to. It's also important for questioning other people when you can't easily read "body language," because "body language" is usually taken for granted, so there are few common verbal explanations of what the gestures mean.

So I think that when people call others "pedantic," they are perhaps seeing things from a limited perspective: the perspective of someone who can communicate everything she wants to communicate without verbal precision. And some of the people considered pedantic aren't doing anything wrong; they are just doing what they have to do to understand and be understood.



SaveFerris
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18 Jul 2017, 9:24 pm

I'm gonna be honest with you and it is probably going to come across as pedantic but that's not why I'm posting , I just have a question about your writing style and would like to understand where your coming from better.

The way you write seems to me like you only interested in a female viewpoint as you use the word "she" or "her" for certain aspects and "they" for other. Is there any particular reason for this as I have a curious nature and trust me this is in no way a criticism.


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starkid
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18 Jul 2017, 9:50 pm

I use female pronouns when I'm talking about a hypothetical person (as in this thread) or when I'm talking about someone whose sex I don't know. They are my default single-person pronouns for two reasons:

1. People have and continue to use "he" (and "him" and "his") as the default single-person pronoun and to think of a hypothetical person as male, basically conceptualizing men as the default humans. By using "she" by default, I draw attention to that.

2. I have a strong personal commitment to the welfare of females, and one of the ways I keep them in mind is to center them in what I think and write.



SaveFerris
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18 Jul 2017, 9:57 pm

Thanks for explaining and sorry for going off topic - normal service will remain shortly :D


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Chronos
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18 Jul 2017, 10:34 pm

starkid wrote:
I realized that a person basically has to be pedantic, at least sometimes, if she only or mainly has words to rely on for communication.

Lots of people can get away with sloppy language because they don't care whether others understand their thoughts; they mainly care whether others understand their feelings. You can communicate most feelings with "body language" and emojis; the explanation of the emotional situation (and the words used to describe it) don't much matter.

To have their feelings and other subjective experiences understood, however, people do have to rely on those experiences being common enough for others to recognize (which many take for granted). Also, people communicate verbally just to bond socially, so the words are hardly important at all in that case.

On the other hand, if one wants others to understand her ideas, precise language (sometimes called "pedantic") is usually more important. Precise language is also important for describing unusual emotional and sensory experiences, particularly things NTs can't relate to. It's also important for questioning other people when you can't easily read "body language," because "body language" is usually taken for granted, so there are few common verbal explanations of what the gestures mean.

So I think that when people call others "pedantic," they are perhaps seeing things from a limited perspective: the perspective of someone who can communicate everything she wants to communicate without verbal precision. And some of the people considered pedantic aren't doing anything wrong; they are just doing what they have to do to understand and be understood.


The situation I often find myself in is such:

I give the detailed version: I'm cut off and told to get to the point.
I give the short version: I'm asked millions of questions, and in the end, it would have been more efficient to give the longer detailed version.