Growing up autistic = trauma?

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I'm wondering if growing up autistic - especially not knowing you are - can cause trauma?

Of course, everyone's experiences are different, but I think we all know that growing up autistic can be hard. For some people more than others.

Not knowing why you're experiencing the world more intensely than others, and having a hard time socializing and making friends. You might also feel less worthy than others due to the fact that you're different, feeling like you never fit in, maybe even experience bullying. These are just some of the things it can involve.

Thoughts on this?
Trauma is perhaps a little extreme, but is it possible?

I'd personally like to blame my low self-esteem and social anxiety due to, not just my ASD itself and the difficulties that come with it, but not knowing I had it until I was an older teenager.

From personal experience, I wouldn't say trauma. I'd say it was more of a learning curve. Not being able to understand things as well as others, not being able to socially interact as well, etc. The only potentially traumatic thing that I can think of, which luckily I never experienced, would be bullying and discrimination from certain things. Luckily for me, I learned how to fit in with society very quickly, learned when to keep my mouth shut etc.

It has been observed (by Tony Attwood and others) that many AS people go into a kind of psychological burnout in their early twenties due to (he believes, and so do I) the enormous accumulated stress of being a neurodifferent person living and growing up in a neurotypical world.

I think this is very true. Unfortunately, I also think that doctors probably misdiagnose this specific kind of burnout - which is due to the trauma non-acceptance causes - as common place depression, such as they would diagnose a neurotypical person of the same age turning up with the same burnout symptoms. But I don't think it is the same at all.

I can't see how a person on the spectrum can grow up without experiencing some degree of trauma arising specifically from their neurodiverse status. The research on bullying of AS children is horrific, and other than those on the spectrum and the people who love them, little attention is paid to that specific trauma either.

Thank goodness for support sites like Wrong Planet, and for Wrong Planet most of all, where we can find validation and support for the traumas of growing up on the spectrum in a world that still stigmatises difference.

I grew up as undiagnosed for autism. At least I got *some* special help in the school system because I was diagnosed ADHD. However, I was always very hard on myself and always had very high expectations of myself. I used to compete in skiing in my youth and even when I'd why a race, I'd be upset with myself because I believed I could have handed a gate more efficiently, etc. I often wonder if I'd have had those expectations if I knew I had Asperger's. Would I have deemed myself "disabled" and "inferior" and doubted myself? It's hard to say.

On the other hand, there's a lot I didn't understand about myself. I never understood why I couldn't get along with others socially. I did have some friends in early middle school but I moved away with my mom to another town and simply couldn't get any friends in that new school. I always thought if I could just try harder or take some risks, I'd be able to make some friends and become popular. But I'd never know how to actually go about doing that. It was like there was this gap in my thinking, this shadow, this part of my brain that was THERE but I couldn't access it.

So I guess I'd say not knowing my diagnosis had its positives and negatives. I probably performed at a higher level than I would have if I had know I had Asperger's. But I was very confused about my inability to "fit in" with others. I didn't understand the reason for my loneliness. On the other hand, I think that as an adult who knows he has Asperger's, it's helpful for me to know. It has enhanced my ability to understand myself. I'm now viewing myself differently, and discovering new strengths and weaknesses about myself every day. And I have some past successes to look back at that you wouldn't expect by somebody who had Asperger's which tells me I shouldn't put myself in a box and limit my expectations of myself.

So basically, I'm still hard on myself and have high expectations of myself because I've learned I'm a capable person. Don't sell yourself short! Don't stereotype yourself or be your own detractor!

So they told me. I think it's BS.

I don't think that growing up autistic will automatically cause a trauma, but traumatic experiences might be more common among autistic children because of misunderstandings and such.

Growing up autistic does not mean trauma.

More like constantly confused, frustrated, overwhelmed due to experiences, and most likely wronged or abused, or in similar experience -- any human would very likely end up traumatized if one experiences life that way.


It mattered a little with neurology itself. It mattered if said neurology reacts that way in their experience.
Autism just so happened to likely interpret the world that way AND likely end up treated to said abuse. Yet, said interpretation is very misinterpreted as something less relevant or something else altogether, therefore ends up with the wrong conclusions, with the wrong solutions...

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I think there needs to be two categories under consideration here.

Growing up autistic, diagnosed early, and with the correct support and approach by parents, family, teachers and other professionals?

Then probably not much trauma at all.

Because this person is supported. SUPPORTED makes a world of difference.

Growing up autistic UN-diagnosed, misunderstood, usually in the earlier generations before the spectrum was understood even by professionals?

I'm sorry but YES, trauma is more likely for this person. Not everyone will feel they experienced that, but it's more likely to be the effect someone in this category experiences.

So for those saying "no way in hell" that's YOU. That probably is the case for most people fortunate enough to be recognized early and given support and an applied approach.

For many of the older generations who did not enjoy the benefit of anyone knowing what was actually going on with them -- including themselves -- trauma is entirely possible and probably even a high percentage of those people to some degree.

For many of these people, there would have been bullying from both other children AND adults, mockery, harsh treatment, no accommodations, no compassion for challenges, family derision and sometimes even rejection and ostracization, peer group the same.

The person themselves may have experienced confusion at their own issues, giving rise to low self esteem and self hatred, attempts to "fix" themselves, attempts to mask, attempts to mimic the neurotypicals around them, instead of having the opportunity to understand their differences and instead work on being the best neurodiverse version of themselves.

This stuff actually did happen to people who were children in the 1950, 1960s and even the 1970s, and eras before those.

The younger people here who were diagnosed in an enlightened era would not know that.

All of the above for those others, can cause depression, suicidal thoughts, hampered life-opportunities, time wasted, poor mental health, etc.

For these people, I agree 100% with the comments made by B19, which struck a chord in me and sounded like a description of my own life.

I'd be cautious with using the word trauma, but I think growing up autistic can definitely make someone more prone to traumatic experiences. Not only does the person experience the world differently, but also the difficulties and misunderstanding that autism causes can lead to long term effects.