Nt people think their issues are a sign of normality?

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ghostprince
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

Joined: 26 Sep 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 22

18 Oct 2017, 4:44 am

My mother had misunderstood someone I had said in a literal way, and she asked:

"do you ever hint at wanting something without asking for it?"


I answered no. I thought "no and it is a dumb and unrespectful behavior. First I think about what I want, then I think if it's ok to ask or not, and I'll be content with whatever the situation allows me to do".

Not just because I'm Aspergers, but also because other, healthier nt people would not behave this way. It is a matter of taking things literally; but it's also a matter of being responsible for yourself, your wants and your communication with people, instead of playing games and expecting people to interpret your signals and give you what you don't even know you want.

I think less than healthy nt people have a tendency to present their issues as a sign of "normality", because it's easier to convince an Aspergers that they have to learn; and maybe some of us have a tendency to believe it, because sometimes it's difficult to understand even their healthy behaviors.

I just wanted to say:

tl;dr just because someone is nt it doesn't mean they're always ok for nt standards; in fact healthy nt people are often those flexible and empathetic enough to understand nd people. Just because you're nd it doesn't mean you're always the one with problems, the one who must be taught how to behave properly. Sometimes, even for nt standards, you're your own brand of healthy.



Exuvian
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

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Joined: 16 Aug 2016
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 379

18 Oct 2017, 8:15 pm

I guess people hint at their wants as a way of "testing the waters", without risking a direct "no". It's attempting to avoid embarrassment/rejection to both parties by being vague and allowing for an easier "out".

So in that sense it's aim is respectfulness.
As long as it isn't something personal, being direct is usually better though.