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Deedsnotwords
Emu Egg
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Joined: 14 Oct 2017
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 1
Location: Uk

14 Oct 2017, 6:39 pm

Hi everyone. I've just joined up because i've recently been diagnosed with high functioning Aspergers, well that's what they used to call it i believe? I'm a 40 year old man with a family and up until the last few years managed a decent career until it started falling apart recently due to anxiety / panic issues and autistic obsessions. I'm really just asking for some advice on one particular subject as i believe this area of my life has got stuck and i cannot seem to make a decision as to what the best way forward is. Any advice and help from anyone on here would be most welcome.

Basically i have held a rigid belief that anyone who uses social media platforms such as twitter, instagram and facebook is inherently unintelligent. I know this is not the truth but in my head i instantly dismiss anyone who mentions they are on them, mentions they use them or asks me if i use them. I find it truly bizarre how people seem almost narcissistic about the way they live their lives and feel so compelled to update statuses and post photos of themselves / girlfriends / boyfriends / kids / breakfast etc all day every day.

To be honest it annoys the hell out of me and here is the problem.

Social media and the way in which people seem to not be able to function in life without being hooked up to them constantly isn't going to go away. It isn't likely to abate but likely to become more commonplace. It's part of life now which i accept but i don't accept the 'look at me' culture that it nurtures. The lack of any respect for their own privacy. Others lives, trivia and pointless opinions forced down our throats 24/7.

As someone with ASD i find it challenging at the best of times to meet people and then try and form a relationship but with the social media boom where everyone wants to be communicating with each other constantly and posting incessant photos and messages, how do i manage this when i refuse to accept anybody who admits to me that they use social media sites such as the ones mentioned?

I could pretty much guarantee that if i walked into a pub at random and did a survey about who in there used social media regularly and who had accounts then i'd be hard pressed to leave that pub having made friends with anyone. They'll all be at it.

So if most people use the things nowadays as part of their lives and my views about them don't change, how do i fit in with society? This issue is making me not want to engage with people anymore and i'm suffering with depression. I want to get back into work but i know most, if not all of my co-workers will be flicking through their phones every 5 seconds laughing at some banal you tube clip or some inane trash on social media and when they do i know i will immediately judge and try my best to avoid them at all costs.

Thus ultimately i will have to avoid everybody because everybody uses the damn things. I feel forced into a corner. I have no choice but to go against my core values and instincts and embrace this incessant vacuous unstoppable juggernaut that is having two lives. A real one and an online one. To fit in i have to accept in order to be accepted and that's even not considering i have an ASD. I'm not sure i can do this but that leaves me isolated and bitter. I'm no better than any other person but sometimes i think i am and that's not right. I just wish i didn't find self obsessed people around every corner that's all.



starkid
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Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,812
Location: California Bay Area

14 Oct 2017, 7:12 pm

Not everyone on social media uses it obsessively or posts a bunch of vacuous content. Some people sign in once a week or just use the account to keep up with friends and family who live far away.

Some disabled/socially isolated people use it to avoid loneliness, raise awareness about their disability, or as an alternative form of communication.

Some people use it to promote their business.

You could probably avoid people who use social media by sticking to older people. People who are into a lot of outdoorsy/physical activities probably don't use it as much either.

I don't know what kind of job you have but employees playing on their mobile phones all day is unusual. I guess the best you can do is focus on your work and stay away from them or try to ignore them.



ASPartOfMe
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Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,479
Location: Long Island, New York

14 Oct 2017, 7:49 pm

I just use to keep up with my family on the other side of the country.


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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

It is Autism Acceptance Month

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


Raleigh
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Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 124
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,224
Location: Out of my mind

14 Oct 2017, 8:04 pm

I only use FB to keep in touch with family and to join special interest groups.
I think I've posted 2 things on my FB page since I joined about seven years ago.

Don't you think you're taking all of this a bit too seriously?


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League_Girl
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Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

14 Oct 2017, 8:06 pm

Social media is also used for employment eg modeling. They will ask for your social media to show your work and stuff when submitting yourself to them. People also use it to promote their business and now they create Facebook pages now about it. Even companies have Facebook pages and Twitter and stuff.

But other than that I have used social media like Facebook for family and keep it private from other forums and only share the link privately if I am comfortable with giving away my real identity. I signed up for Twitter using a fake name just to post my Nintendo stuff from Tomodachi Life. I also signed up on instagram recently with another fake name just to like a page to enter a contest to try and win something they are giving away. I signed up for myspace just to do my blog and then I abandoned that website and they got rid of the blog feature anyway.


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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.