I’m miserable because I’m lonely

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I’ve been severely depressed for 5 years. I’m 17 and have 2 friends. One is an hour away, and the other I talk to after class for like 5 minutes everyday (a guy and a girl). I want to feel like I belong, but I don’t know how to do it. I’m so f****n g sad it’s ridiculous. I don’t know what I want by posting here, but I figured why not. I’m officially diagnosed as of a month ago btw. So my autism was identified pretty late.

Do you take antidepressants? I have to take 30 mg of lexapro and I'll probably need to bump it up to 40 soon. Maybe it could help.

I was in your shoes [still am, in fact] at your age, the only way out of it for me was to go away and join the army. that forced me into contact with other people. wasn't lonely anymore [but wished I was]. irony.

If you feel you are depressed, may I suggest taking sam-e. It has been prescribed in Europe for years and is now available OTC. It comes in either 200mg or 400mg. I have personally taken it for years. If you would like to learn about sam-e, google it.

when I was the OP's age, young and fit like he presumably is, I would self-"medicate" my depression with vigorous exercise to the point of exhaustion, I was too tired to be depressed anymore.

Perhaps instead of taking antidepressants you could socialise more.

the very purpose of OP's post is that he is not in any position to socialize.

Hello. I want to say that I know how you feel. Of course I actually don't, but I can relate a lot.
I was severely depressed from somewhere around 12 up to 19-20. It also had a lot to do with the feeling of not fitting in anywhere. Even though I did have friends, I always felt like I didn't get it. Like I didn't have that connection to other people that they all seemed to have to eachother.

I am very recently diagnosed myself (now 23), and since I found out what's causing my problems, they're so much easier to deal with. Not only because I can work with the right tools, but also because I gain a better understanding of myself every day, and am more accepting of myself.
The past few years, I haven't been seeing other people that much. I have a few good friends now, but even though I do enjoy hanging out with them, I'm not too interested in doing that. I've come to realize that I didn't actually want friends because I really did, but it was just something I felt like I should want. All I can remember from past friendships is uncertainty and misunderstanding, and trying so hard to fit in was only causing more misery. It just wasn't worth the trouble. Turns out, the need for belonging went away when self-acceptance arrived.
But I understand that this might not be the case for you.

I don't have a good solution for your problems. I think I just got out of depression because I got lucky.
Maybe you could try to find some people that are more on your wavelength? Maybe there's a support group of some sort that you could join?
I know for myself that the first time I went to a support group-meeting, I felt like I belonged in a group for the first time ever. Even though the longing for that had already went away at that point, It was pretty darn cool.
If there aren't any, you at least have WP. I have found a lot of comfort here.
If you ever feel like talking, you are more than welcome to message me. And I'm sure a whole bunch of people here will say the same.


I know how heavy that sadness is. I know that it's unlikely that anything I said is helpful, so, I'm sorry about that.
I really hope that you get out of it soon.

Wow, why is everyone immediately jumping to telling a teenager to take psych drugs???
Before any other suggestion? That's the only option if you're depressed?
To the OP - are you in a position where you can't socialize with people in person at all, such as an extremely remote location or a serious illness?
If not, and it's just autism troubles making it hard for you, you can still approach getting out there more in a way that might suit you better. I find socializing impossible, so instead when I do have contact with people, it's structured - a job, a class, an interest group. That provides focus and cuts down the amount of social finesse required, plus it's more interesting than just smalltalking people.
Maybe you could get involved with a structured group? Any of your interests local? A sport or club?
If not, there's always the online option, to socialize with people at least a bit through the internet.
Ironic, I'm miserable because I'm not alone enough.

I'm nearly 27 and have no friends. Nope, not even one. But you reach a point in your life where you wonder if it really even matters. Relationships require a great deal of effort and usually carry a lot of disappointments.

Try to look at it on the flip side. You're not bound to anyone else, you're free to do pretty much anything you want as you have all the free time to do whatever you want.

You don't bring people into your life through desperation, you invite them in by participating in interests that they happen to share with you.

I've been gut wrenchingly lonely my whole life. Being amongst people only tended to make it worse.

The last 5 years I've cut myself off completely and the loneliness is abating. The first couple of years were a bit diff...

I wish I'd embraced my loneliness when I was much younger - fighting against it has done me no MH favours.