How have you experienced adulthood?

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All, but 4.
I took up farming, esp shepherding, against the tide, now costs gone over benefits and it hurts a lot, physically and mentally, though it was weirdly informative and interesting.

I have achieved number 6... sort of. Working on the other 5.

I think giving up is how I define 'not actively trying' to achieve 2-5. There's still this kind of going your own way about not being interested in romance, marriage, or children. All my siblings and cousins have now had children. I'm the only one who doesn't have birthdays, trips, worries about school, etc. as a daily conversation topic. I can seriously consider buying the iPhone X without thinking that it would be irresponsible to do so. What tools are to you some new technical gadget is to me. BTW, if not for your second post, I would've assumed that you're a dedicated post doc working in a lab. Now, I picture you as a independent frontiers women with a gun rack. I have a vivid imagination.

1. Romance - Just not interested. Really don't know if I can do it.
2. Marriage - Got to get past step 1 first.
3. Children - Got to get past steps 1 and 2 first.
4. Career - come and go.
5. Home Ownership - I own my house all paid for. I paid cash for it after saving up the money for it. It's amazing how much money you can save when you don't have to pay child support or having to raise a family.
6. Friends - Maybe 1 or 2 if I am lucky.

I had thought about making this a poll but then I thought it would be too depressing. I have zero wickets myself (I don't even know what that means) but I still think a girlfriend and friends might still be achievable. I'm old enough to know that 2-5 are only realistically an option if a. I win the lottery even though I don't play or b. my unwritten bestseller novel literally writes itself.

In the West, I'm part of the 'so called' Peter Pan Generation (in Japan the terms are much worse). I don't really think that's fair but it beats being called 'irresponsible', which is what my parents and grandparents would call me. I actually think that the problem I experience is a 'leisure' problem. I live well. I'm neither forced to get married, nor does anybody need my labor, I get to exist in this very wealthy society, like an odd pampered son, who being left a choice pursues the lifestyle of a teenager. Instead of worrying about a career or my kids, I get to worry about if the "Justice League" is going to be any good. As I look across the industrialised world there seems to be a new kind of citizenship emerging enjoying all the perks of a middle class lifestyle without any of the adult responsibilities.

Last edited by Clakker on 14 Nov 2017, 6:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't see how you can get a gf without a job realistically. Even making friends without a job seems unlikely to me honestly.

A man can dream I’ve actually had three girlfriends but they’ve all been weird and financially independent. No I couldn’t support anyone but I don’t want to either.

1. Romance - yes, though I'm always wondering if they like me or their idea of me.
2. Marriage - I don't separate this from number one. Not very interested in legal marriage.
3. Children - Not interested.
4. Career - Currently have one. Not sure if I want to change or not. Still, I need employment.
5. Home Ownership - I think I prefer an apartment. I don't have to worry about all the stupid lawn care.
6. Friends - Some, but have driven away many. Most like you when you're entertaining, few like you when you're human.

Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes

What does yes mean, now? Does yes mean I’ve given up on or yes I’ve achieved these benchmarks?

Not pursuing 1-3.
4 is uncertain, on cusp of either having one for life or starting from scratch.
5 requires 4.
6 requires more stability than I currently have, "new" city every 6-12 months.

Me too! I'm a very late starter in life.

Which terms do they use in Japan?

You can own an apartment. Can you still call it a home?

Maybe in America they're called apartments when you rent them and condos when you buy them. There are dozens of people who own their own apartment in my building but they still call it an apartment regardless of if they bought the apartment or if they're renting it.

You know about a year ago there was a program on tv that featured a PhD Biologist. She had given up her academic career for full time shepherding. She was also complaining about the ruinous effect it was having on her finances. Are you this very same shepherdess?

In Japan, you have the herbivore man (which sounds rather hip like being vegan), the parasite single, and the hikikomori, which is a middle class male or female recluse who doesn’t work and lives off their parents/grandparents wealth.

In America, they’re called Condos.

You're doing very well. It's amazing how much money I can't save even though I don't have kids and I earn a decent salary. This is one of the biggest reasons why I'm immature.

1. Romance - been there once but really not looking
2. Marriage - no
3. Children - no
4. Career - yes, been at the same firm for 19 years
5. Home Ownership - yes, mortgage just paid off this year
6. Friends - one, but not close