Rejection on social media

Post Reply New Topic

I want everybody to have equal rights......

You are absolutely right! It is cyber high school, the pattern reapeat all over again.

I would love to say that I am above social media, that I am so self-assured that I can't feel rejected. But that would be a lie. I don't use social media except to talk to family, and for reasons that are hard to explain, or even understand, some of my own family members have been dissing me. It sucks. I hate it.

I have been blocked by "finsta" accounts in the past while on Instagram. "Finsta" accounts ("fake Instagram) are private accounts primarily used by popular white girls where they post things they don't want on their "rinsta", or "real Instagram", accounts. An example of a post on a finsta accoubt is an embarrassing confession. Anyone who is outside of their friendship circle/clique will be blocked/rejected if they try to follow it. Since I am in no popular girl's friendship circle, I got blocked by all of the finsta accounts I tried to follow.

Whenever someone unfollows me, I tend to ask them why they did it. Most of the time, they refuse to answer and block me afterwards. I think it is because they are too insecure to tell the truth or they believe it will hurt my feelings. I am willing to accept the reason why they did it, even if the truth hurts. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do if somebody blocks me because I cannot send them messages.

I've also experienced rejection in real life through the use of messaging. For example, I would go to a girl's clique and stay there. When the clique moved, I asked the girl why and where they moved. They moved somewhere inaccessible or unknown to me.

TL;DR - I feel like crap and just deal with it.

I've never used Instagram, but I know with Facebook, if you don't "play ball" with their algorithm, almost nobody will see your posts. They used to have it so that if you had a page (like I have pages for bands I'm in), it would show you how many people were reached by your post (I think you have to pay for this feature now), and the numbers were always ridiculously low. Maybe 5-8% of our followers would actually see the post. Maybe.

The algorithm seriously expects you to spam, really and truly spam people with memes and emogees, during "peak viewing hours", otherwise you might as well not exist. I've seen people on their phones, scrolling through pages and pages of endless Facebook nothingness...in the grand scheme of things, anything you post is just a drop in the ocean. If your post even shows up on their feed.

You have to make waves if you want to "win".

I don't get a lot of attention on my page either, but I mean I also don't post that terribly often and when I do its usually stuff people are going to like or hate....so I don't really let it get to me. I mean if people like a post of mine cool...but I am not the most active facebook user and I don't have tons of followers so its not like I expect that many responses. I mean a lot of stuff I think is super cool a lot of people don't care about...so whatever I post it and if people like it cool, if not cool. Like I posted a picture of a squirrel skull I collected and a lot of people in the facebook group I posted it to liked it, but a couple people thought it was disgusting and that I should not have posted it. But it was already done so either people like it or they don't.

It was interesting to hear about "finsta" and "rinsta". I did not know about these, but now when you said it sounds most reasonable. Did you knew these people in real life or online only?

I have also been unfollowed a couple of times by former friends and then also quickly blocked, this behavior I have always interpreted as something overdramatically. How can you be good friends with someone and then just block the person? To me it is totally heartless and show the other person that is no way back to friendship.

It was brave of you to ask why they did it to you even if you didn´t get honest answers. If I have unfollowed someone, it's because the person has a very inactive profile (not updating or doing anything active for years), which makes me interpret it as a "dead profile" is not personal, it´s just that I think the person never are online. The second reason is when you never see each other in real life or never are active on each others profiles either, no communication what so ever, then it´s a zero communication stage that can´t evolve to something deeper either. It´s not personal, it´s just that what it is, no communication and if it was real life then the friendship would be dead anyway.

But some people actually do block friends even if there was no reason at all, just because it comfortable to not tell they don´t want to be friends anymore. I think as someone else said here earlier, the peoples true colors shows

You are human and therefore you care if someone ignores you. Disregarding another person whether is in real life or online is painful. Many who write that they do not care about these things either have something loose in their heads or they are not personal on the internet at all, maybe they aren´t close to these people either and that´s why they don´t care.

Too many people refering to Facebook here, I´m talking about personal, closed Instagram accounts were you know the people that are following you but ignores you day after day. They know what they are doing, they freeze you out.

Last edited by alpacka on 30 Jun 2018, 12:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I delete people that don't interact with me

That´s good but I think it´s hard when it´s in your inner circle like your sisters best friend you also did have a friendship with once. The chance to bump into each other are high and the chance for a question "why did you delete me" is harder to answer. "I was hurt you just ignored me all the time" sounds overly sensitive...

I have zero problem telling someone the truth if they ask albiet in a tactful manner.

"It seems our lives have gone in different directions so I saw no need to keep appearances on Facebook."

I've had it done to me and I was cool with it.

I don't use it. You have to care enough to use email to be my friend at a distance.

I don't think the algorithm knows or cares whether or not you personally know the people following you. I have my FB set to private, and I know almost all of my "friends", but still, my posts reach very few of them. I've asked them in person, and they deny having seen some of my posts. I've tried experimenting with posting my text as annoying memes before, and, almost by magic, I start getting replies

On the other hand, I've had it happen to me...I'll see a post, for example they were sharing a YouTube video...I watched the video, and then when I went back to the post to comment, it had vanished without a trace.

That was a good way to say it I think

That's smart but if you already have it it's harder

The hard part is probably dealing with the addictive aspects that the corporations use. Can you send all your "friends" an email to establish the new channel? At least post an announcement? I didn't get started because as far as I could tell, nothing I wrote ever got posted anywhere. I probably hadn't "liked" enough products to count at all.