Crowds

Post Reply New Topic

I just wanted to throw this out to see if anyone else has the same experience with crowds as I do. In general, I hate crowds. I love to hike and visit national parks, but I almost exclusively visit during off times and seasons just to avoid crowds, for instance. However, I've noticed that in certain situations, I do not seem to have as much of an aversion to being around a large group of people. For example, I can attend sporting events with thousands of other people, and as long as the seats immediately next to me are unoccupied, I have no real issues with being at the game. I even enjoy hearing the roar of the crowd during a big play. But, the process of getting into and out of the stadium, with people darting this way and that way, bumping into me, having conversations all around me, etc. causes such distress that I often avoid going to these games just to avoid the hussle and bussle from getting into and out of the stadium. It almost seems that my issues are not necessarily with just being around people, but with being around people in an uncontrolled, unscripted environment where I have no clue what the other people are planning to do (people tend to move erratically at times). Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Yes, I know what you mean. Crowded supermarkets and shopping malls really do my head in, but when I visit an outdoor event like a country show, I don't feel as stressed.

But with me it depends on the type of people that make up the crowds. Families really stress me out, because small children are noisy, unpredictable and erratic, and to me they make the place more hectic than it really is. When we were on holiday last week, we were staying at a resort that was an adults-only type of holiday, and I was actually the youngest in the hotel and on the coach (as everyone else were middle-aged and elderly). It was fantastic because there was no children anywhere, and going to the shops was like heaven. The thing is, the shops were still rather crowded with the holiday-makers (there were a few hotels), but they were all much older and seemed more friendly, polite and predictable. I felt so happy and relaxed. So I think the type of people in the crowds make me anxious; rude teenagers, bustling families, screaming toddlers, energetic kids, aggressive people, rough people, people that block the aisle thinking they're the only ones in the whole store...the list goes on. When elderly people outnumber any other groups, that's when I feel most at ease. I know elderly people can be slow, but at least they're quiet and predictable.

Very familiar but I think it's social anxiety with me.

The way I see it:

At a large event peoples attention and focus is usually in one direction and anything you do is not going to attract attention or you are so distracted by the event anxiety doesn't rear it's head.

However in a supermarket , walking down the street etc you have no idea what is getting attention so the anxious part of your mind gives you s**t about the possibility that someone is judging you.

Someone is always judging you , it's human nature.

That's an interesting thought about social anxiety. From a 'judgmental' standpoint, I'm much more comfortable around lots of people compared to a small group. In a large group or a large party, I can just blend in, but with a small group I feel much more pressured to be 'on'. For me at least, it would seem that social anxiety is completely separate and leads to a different set of problems.

^ A school friend just invited me to a school reunion , when I told him I wasn't sure about it due to anxiety , he said we could meet up one to one instead. I honestly can't work out which will be easier , going to the reunion and trying to blend or one on one and having to be social.

I love fireworks, but I haven't seen any in person in many years now. The reason - I don't want to deal with the crowd, and especially the traffic and parking hassles. I don't think in my case that it's social anxiety. Instead, I associate it with the effort required to maintain focus over a long time. It's the same reason I hate stop-and-go traffic (traffic jams).

Years ago my family lived a couple blocks from a park that had fireworks every Fourth of July. It was great just walking out and putting a blanket on the lawn, and meanwhile smirking that we were not the ones inching along hoping for a parking space.

Nowadays - as pathetic as it may sound - I just watch the fireworks on TV.

Depends on the crowd usually.

Though I used to enjoy alone time. When I was younger I could often go to places and there weren't any people. Now there are two or three groups of people every 20 yards, usually two or more. Hiking isn't doable for me anymore because of the amount of people. I'm not interested in conversation every 10 minutes every time I leave my house, but other people are just too needy I guess.