Possible PDA and avoiding demands
Hi everyone, I'm pretty sure I have PDA autism and I just can't deal with everyday demands. Lately my dad has been home during the day and I can't get out of bed knowing he's home because he's going to ask me to do stuff before I even have a chance to wake up. He's very impatient, constantly asking me "how long is it going to take you to be ready?" and then getting mad that he's waiting at all.
The past several years, my demand avoidance has gotten so bad I can't even go outside when my neighbors are out there because I don't want to have to talk to them. When I started to ignore them so I wouldn't get trapped in a 20 minute conversation, they started to aggressively scream at me so I couldn't ignore them. It's gotten to the point I'm unable to get out of bed in the morning because I just can't handle the constant demands.
My dad went like 3 months without doing dishes, the last time being before american thanksgiving, and then he started doing them again but he expects the sink to be empty when he gets home from work, but I can't keep up with the amount of dishes he creates. He's been coming home for lunch, which means he makes a big mess and then he gets mad that it's still there when he gets home.
I can't keep up with the amount of cleaning he expects of me, and he'd rather spend all his time helping other people do stuff than work on his own house. This has been a problem for a long time, I wasn't able to apply for financial aid in high school back in the 2010's because he hadn't filed his taxes since 2005 or so. The front room where the front door is, he's just got boxes full of documents just shoved into places haphazardly, and he used to expect my mom to file it all for him. Any time we did try to do something to help, he'd accuse us of throwing things out we weren't supposed to. So basically, it's impossible to clean up after him because he gets mad when it's not done a certain way. He cannot vocalize what he wants so it's always been really hard to read his mind and do things.
Lately I just can't handle any of this. He's even asking me to move his clothing from the washer to the dryer, but if my clothes are in the dryer he literally waits until I go get them. We've had this conversation for years: If my clothes are in the way and I'm not home, put them in the basket I leave by the machines for this exact reason. If it benefits anyone, he doesn't want anything to do with it.
I'm exhausted and it doesn't feel like this is ever something I'm going to be able to cope with well.