Does everyone have a problem with eye contact?

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Marilyn
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06 Oct 2007, 3:31 pm

Is the dis-like of eye contact always necessary for people with Aspergers? I'm thinking of one person in particular who has no problem with eye- contact.he actually hates talking on the phone because he says he can't see faces. He's still pretty bad at reading them when he does see them, but he has no problem looking at them.
Is this discrepency experienced by others?



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06 Oct 2007, 3:35 pm

I have to force myself to make eye contact. I was also really afraid of talking on the phone, but I think I'm gradually getting over that.



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06 Oct 2007, 3:39 pm

I don't have a problem with it.

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edal
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06 Oct 2007, 3:54 pm

No problem here either. LOTS of other social problems but eye contact isn't one of them.

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06 Oct 2007, 4:24 pm

I don't like eye contact or phones.



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06 Oct 2007, 4:35 pm

Occasionally I have a problem on the phone with being somewhat awkward but I am okay. As for eye contact, I will generally look at the person's face as a whole but as a rule, don't like staring at someone directly in the eyes.



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06 Oct 2007, 4:41 pm

Sorta...
Except when it comes to girls I like. 8O Strange that...
Well I actually mean in this point in time when it comes to the girl I like lol. I was using 'those I like' as in describing you know - history lol.
I seem to use eye contact in this situation very well.


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MishLuvsHer2Boys
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06 Oct 2007, 4:43 pm

Eye contact for me is not too comfortable, I can maintain it when needed but often try to find a focus point near the face where I don't have to look directly into the eyes, always found it a bit painful and a bit intimidating myself.



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06 Oct 2007, 5:03 pm

I've been told I don't have a problem with that. But, I don't like intense conversations where people look at me directly in the eye continuously.


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06 Oct 2007, 5:04 pm

Quote:
Except when it comes to girls I like.


Ditto. There is one male and a female I am ok making eye contact with... female is just a semi-friend older lady person who's eyes don't intimidate me. The male just has amazing eyes and I trust him, but other than that, eyes I just find too intrusive and unnerving.



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06 Oct 2007, 5:16 pm

Yeah, I hate eye contact but with some girls the view is worth the discomfort...



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06 Oct 2007, 5:16 pm

Marilyn wrote:
Is the dis-like of eye contact always necessary for people with Aspergers? I'm thinking of one person in particular who has no problem with eye- contact.he actually hates talking on the phone because he says he can't see faces. He's still pretty bad at reading them when he does see them, but he has no problem looking at them.
Is this discrepency experienced by others?


I'm like your friend with hating to talk on the phone, partly because I can't see faces (I have severe phone anxiety). But I don't like eye contact and am bad at reading faces, so I'm not much better face-to-face. But it's my preferred method of communication...after email, of course.



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06 Oct 2007, 5:51 pm

I never make eye contact, especially during conversations. It has always made me feel intimidated. I don't care for talking on the phone either; when it rings I let someone else answer it. My mom says I sound really scared when I'm the one who has to answer it.



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06 Oct 2007, 6:03 pm

No one ever said anything about (lack of) eye contact during my life, beyond occasional comments on my stare (I have a mean look that I'd sometimes intend & sometimes not). Don't usually have major issues with that specifically-my problems are things like sensory intrusions, agoraphobia, social anxiety-once I'm comfortable with an individual, I make plenty of eye contact. If you think about it, simply peering at each other's eyeballs does feel rather intimate (moreso than we commonly consider it to be)-and perhaps a little bit icky/gross.

Belle77 wrote:
Marilyn wrote:
Is the dis-like of eye contact always necessary for people with Aspergers? I'm thinking of one person in particular who has no problem with eye- contact.he actually hates talking on the phone because he says he can't see faces. He's still pretty bad at reading them when he does see them, but he has no problem looking at them.
Is this discrepency experienced by others?

I'm like your friend with hating to talk on the phone, partly because I can't see faces (I have severe phone anxiety).

Phone ringing inherently startles me & it takes at least a few minutes (usually) for me to determine whether I'm "up to" challenge of taking a particular call. I let answering machine pick up, then listen to message (though I may wait hours before doing do) & decide whether to call person back. On the phone, I can't point things out that I'm making reference to nor see the expressions of other person, so cannot gather nor convey nearly as much info. as I'd like.
Belle77 wrote:
But I don't like eye contact and am bad at reading faces, so I'm not much better face-to-face. But it's my preferred method of communication...after email, of course.

That seems contradictory at first-yet it's similar to my interpretation of experiences.
Just because I don't necessarily know what someone's facial expression (throughout a conversation) may be designed to tell me, I still prefer being able to see it. Just because I don't know what my gestures or body language are 'saying' to someone doesn't mean I want to be deprived of those aspects to my communication.

I find eyes (in isolation from rest of face) not to be 'full of meaning'-appearance of them doesn't seem to change much within any single individual (though I did great on that 'see the emotion in the eyes' test). I see variety in the way one's facial features move together, mostly the mouth & the eyebrows-those appear "information-rich".
Even then, it's not like I know what I'm supposed/expected to do about someone else's motivations/intentions/mood. Might know intellectually yet feel personally unable to make self parrot artificial (not genuinely felt, originating from outside self) "nice" statements/behaviors.


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06 Oct 2007, 6:49 pm

I use to be horrrible at eye contact, now not so much anymore, still have problems looking away every now and then, but I can make it, when I was growing up, I always looked at the floor.


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06 Oct 2007, 7:06 pm

Marilyn wrote:
Is the dis-like of eye contact always necessary for people with Aspergers? I'm thinking of one person in particular who has no problem with eye- contact.he actually hates talking on the phone because he says he can't see faces. He's still pretty bad at reading them when he does see them, but he has no problem looking at them.
Is this discrepency experienced by others?


Eye contact with me has always been a problem. I always look around the room when I talk because I try and avoid eye contact. If I have to give it, for any particular situation, I will look at the persons nose, but not in their eyes.
As for talking on the phone...I don't mind it but I don't do it a lot as I tend to stutter when on the phone and I guess it would make me quite difficult to understand.


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