Are We Really Such Cowards?

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Take a look at Do you have any phobias??? Last time I checked, fully (63+1/3)% (nineteen members of WrongPlanet.net) had more than one phobia, and (16+2/3)% had one phobia. In other words, fully 80% (24 out of 30) WrongPlanet.net members who voted in that poll have at least one phobia! Only 20% (6) voted nonphobic.

Is it really possible we aspies are such big wimps?

So first of all, these phobias 80% of voters have are causing them significant life dysfunction and distress. The ICD-10 further describes phobic anxiety disorders (F40):

Is it true 80% of WrongPlanetarians have phobic anxiety disorders (diagnosed or not)? This is scandalous!

Related to this is the ease with which I have noticed some people take offense here (on the IRC channel and on my topic Asperger's Syndrome: Just Different or Fundamentally Better?). There seems to be a certain fear of remarks that venture away from WrongPlanet.net orthodoxy. It might just be related to the phobia epidemic here.

I'd say that admitting to having a phobia was not an act of cowardice. Denying that you have them might be. I don't find it terribly surprising that the people responding to the thread have phobias, that was the whole point of asking the question surely? Would it have been better if everyone had said "No". Anyway some of my favourite people are cowards.

Admitting to having a phobia may not in itself be cowardly, but having a phobia is. A fear is not the same as a phobia anyway. Phobias are disabling. I believe phobias and overanxious characteristics are character faults that one is responsible for vanquishing. Whether the neuroticism is a result of an innate temperament or environmental conditioning, it is important to feel the duress until one is conditioned out of it.

I myself have been crippled in the past by various forms of shyness and anxiety, but I have challenged myself to defeat it. Life is too miserable; unpleasant; and, well, boring if you spend it all avoiding all your fears. Most of my obsessive-compulsive rituals are now gone although years ago they were really quite noticeable. My inhibitions against social interactions are almost gone as well.

To me carrying out one's existence inside, away from everyone, avoiding all potential dangers, isn't life but a wait for death.

Interesting. I think a lot of people do confuse "fears" with "phobias," for one thing. For another thing, I don't think this is a case where you can really say "well, those people should just get over it." A lot of times phobias are born out of a deeper issue that's a little tougher to get at, and "getting over it" takes a little more than just confronting the thing itself, but rather a serious re-evaluation of what the person's dealing with underneath that makes them so afraid of a certain thing in the first place.

In short, I'm sure those numbers are a little skewed, and I'm sure that yeah, some people just have a vivid fear of certain things (heights, bees, the dark, etc.) - but I'm willing to bet that plenty of those people also have more deep-rooted phobias.

It'd be interesting to see how Asperger's affects the development of irrational and debilitating fears of certain things. I think for me personally, the boundaries between fantasy and reality were so thin and the systematic feeling of "if 'x' is bad the first time, you should probably avoid all instances of 'x' in the future" so pervasive that I grew up with panic-inducing fear of things like bees (I ran into a hornet's nest when I was 2 - whoops!) and the dark (watched some movie with monsters in the dark, I guess, became so terrified that they'd get me that I had trouble sleeping any time I was reminded of the possibility up until I was well into my teenage years). I agree with lesser fears that it's best to confront them, but I think making the blanket statement "are we such cowards" is a bit unfair - do you know all the people that voted "more than one?" I'm sure it's skewed, but I'm also pretty sure that yeah, people with Aspeger's probably do have a lot more phobias than a neurotypical person, phobias caused not only by "character faults" but by serious events that may have disrupted them, serious events that they must deal with in their own time.

My hero. Parents, give your children hugs, kisses and plenty of attention.

I have a lot of weird (and not so weird, I guess) phobias, but I don't think that anyone who knows me would call me a coward.

Many of my phobias, though, at this point I am semi-recovered from. I say semi-recovered because under stress they come back. (Arachnophobia, emetophobia, and toilet-phobia, for example.) I have been the most successful at eliminating arachnophobia, which I used to have to the degree that I could not come into a room where I'd seen a spider, but at this point as long as they don't take me by surprise I like spiders.

I still have other phobias though that are just as intense, so...

Edit: Also, claiming that when people disagree with you, it's because of a pathology or adhering to an orthodoxy (rather than just that many people disagree with you -- which you call "offense"), is probably not going to generate agreement or anything. Lots of people disagree with me, but I doubt it's because they're phobic or orthodox or even offended, it's just because they have different views than me. It's probably no different when people disagree with you.

Last edited by anbuend on 08 Aug 2005, 7:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I feel like saying we are responsible for vanquishing our phobia's is like everyone telling me I should be able to decide to interact socially in their accepted manner. I did take care of most of my fears by, what seemed to be the most logical course of, focusing all my fears on ferris wheels. However, now instead of some smaller fears I really do have a dehabiliting phobia of ferris wheels to the point that if forced onto one (which many well meaning NTs have done) I will hyperventlate, try to jump off, experiance shortness of breath and in one case tore the well meaning NT to shreads with my nails. However, there are now many "fears" I no longer experiance and since I do not have to deal with ferris wheels I am very happy to have that phobia in exchange.

I have a few silly phobias but I wouldn't call myself a coward.

SpaceCase

It's the responding as if it is of personal concern that leads me to believe a person has been offended. It's as if they are compelled to respond from some feeling of personal slight rather than merely addressing factual errors and differences of perspective.

When I respond personally, it's because an idea affects me personally as well as factually and I want to address it from both angles. Sometimes it is easier to write from the concrete stuff that I know in front of me in terms of how something affects my (right in front of me) life, rather than in the abstract. Doesn't mean I've taken offense. Just for future reference.

Having a phobia is not cowardly. Having a phobia in and of itself does not reflect on a person at all, even by what you said in the following paragraphs: You contradicted yourself. If what you said in the last praagraphs is true, not dealing with a phobia is what is cowardly, not having the phobia in the first place.

Additionally, you seem to be generalizing phobia to mean "social phobia." There are a lot more phobias than that. I have arachniphobia, but does it interfere withy my life? No. If I see a spider, I suck it into my vaccuum cleaner. It's not as "macho" as chasing it down with a shoe, but it is certainly a way of coping and getting rid of the da-- thing, and I'm not afraid to leave the house because I might encounter a spider.

Having said all that, I don't think people who do have social phobia or agoraphobia are cowards either, but I'm trying to think about what people with such disabling phobias must feel like: Take my own insecurities and multiply them by whatever. If it's half as paralyzing as it feels like it would be, I can't call them cowards, because if my brain were sending me the same signals- if stepping out of my front dorr started my heart pumping and made my sympathetic nervous system go haywire just as badly as if there were "real" danger- I think I'd be just as disabled and need just as much help. That's how I apply TOM to it, anyway.

That was an utterly irresponsible thing to say. I DARE you to suggest your theory to any psychologist/psychiatrist. I dare say you'll get your arse handed to you...

Based upon the reaction of my co-workers in response to a few small spiders, I don't think phobias are limited to aspies. After their hysterics calmed down a little they began listing all sorts of other things they were phobic of...

Putting it another way, there are things that startle me (balloons popping), things that I feel fear regarding (a loaded logging truck tailgating me down a hill) and one thing I am phobic about- snakes. Then there are things that I have an irrational loathing and distaste for, such as maggots and clowns.

What is up with people who think they can actually make people get rid of their fears by somehow shaming them for having phobias in the first place? That's got to be the most ineffective, assinine method folks use with impunity. My father, among others, used to remark that I wasn't "truly" shy yet turn around and do some "Jedi Knight trick" try to instill guilt for being bashful, something they just said I was faking.

To me, when people do that, it's less about the person with the phobia than their attempt to exercise control over the other person. In other words, it's a power trip for the one trying to do the convincing, not a means to be of service. So anyone who trivializes my emotional state, I have little respect for.

"It is those that are the most afraid that are the bravest"............

My step dad made fun of my phobia once. I can't remember what he said but I still get mad bout it. I think it was something like I'm stupid for having a spider phobia.

Last edited by ilikedragons on 09 Aug 2005, 10:07 am, edited 1 time in total.