Almost none of my friends think I have AS

Post Reply New Topic

Not only do they not think I have AS, but most of them are openly hopeful that I won't be diagnosed with AS. I am more amused by this than anything else. As far as my friends not thinking I have it goes, first of all, I tend to avoid the situations where it is most obvious. I really clam up in group settings, so I tend to avoid them. Most of them could have little idea the extent of my obsessions, which is one of the main reasons why I think I have AS. Also, a large percent of my friends are very weird. I go to an academically elite school, and there are tons of super nerdy kids, so it's not like I really stick out more than a lot of other kids.

It seems many of them are worried that I am going to freak out and become "even more isolated" when I have the label. I don't think this is the case at all. I already went through that trip when I first learned about AS. I became more self-conscious for a while, but then I realized that I've been this way my whole life (I'm 22, and first learned about AS when I was about to turn 21), and I've had plenty of friends as well as extended periods of productivity and happiness, so there is nothing to fear from the label. I think it would actually benefit me greatly. As I mentioned in another post, the prospect of facing the fact that I have OCD type behavior, depressive tendencies, anxiety, lagging social skills, and all sorts of other lovely little quirks without some sort of underlying explanation (not really an explanation, but at least a sort of guideline as to how my brain works and why I might easily fall into certain traps) is not a pleasant scenario for me. I think I would find a lot of relief with the AS diagnosis - not to mention it might finally convince my mom, whom I am *certain* has AS, that she is different and needs to quit being such a stubborn, hard-headed ass if she's going to see any improvement in her incredible anxiety and general misery.

Honestly, and my girlfriend even admitted this, I think some of my friends are a little jealous. If I have AS, I am somehow "special." I can understand this reasoning, and I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my own mind, either. But, all I can say is that the reason why I'm going to get this diagnosis is that I have felt like I was going completely insane ever since I got to college. I wouldn't wish the worst of what I've experienced on anyone. So, even if I am "special," I can't say it's anything to be jealous of.

Oh, then there is the possibility that if I have AS, my friends will suddenly learn that they've been hanging out with a "weirdo" for the past however long, which might come as a shock, or an embarrassment. I doubt this is a main concern for many.

I didn't want to tell my friends because I was afraid they would treat me differnetly. I posted a video of myself on youtube as a response to another video asking "What does autism and respect mean to you?"

I explained in my video that I have AS abd said that it is up to them to decide if I am different before they knew.

ButchCoolidge,

Frankly, I never understood EITHER side. Most people getting a label DON'T change! Most that have known the person, and see them with the new label, DO change! Don't ask me WHY, they just DO! So your friends may treat you different EVEN if you still act EXACTLY the same!

No there is nothing to be jealous of, but nobody wants to know what AS is, because 1) to know what autism really is requires an extraordinary mental effort and 2) If they (your "friends") really understood what AS means they would feel that they should do something for you, that you need help, if anything, in a different approach to the relationship.

Who cares? Ultimately the diagnosis is between you and a professional. Whether your friends believe you are or aren't is essentially a mute point, nothing more than a debate no one can win. And a label makes you no more a wierdo than you (or the rest of us) currently are

What about going to college has been making you feel like you're going completely insane?

Kris

I'm intrigued by the fact that they're jealous. I've never told anyone about my diagnosis, but jealousy is the last reaction I would expect. I didn't know that anyone was jealous of anyone with AS!

The thought of telling people provokes a lot of anxiety for me. I imagine all sorts of negative reactions:

-being labeled "brain damaged" or mentally defective

-hearing, "Oh, you're one of those," or "Oh, you're a victim or mercury poisoning," or
"Yes, these days everyone is getting diagnosed with that."

-having to explain why I'm sure I have it and why I don't think it was caused by mercury poisoning

-having to explain how I can have AS and be different from the stereotype (I'm creative and I don't follow routines)

Yeah, you get the idea. This is just anxiety resulting from unpleasant experiences I've had with telling people about other diagnoses. These unpleasant experiences were not the norm, though. Most of the time, when I've told someone about a diagnosis, they've been politely accepting and/or acted like they really didn't care. I've never gotten any kind of positive reaction (including envy), but AS is a bit different.

This reminds me of a Episode of House MD called Lines in the Sand, it's about a autistic boy. House denouces the theorys that his team has about pity and how autistic people should be changed and altered to fit in the rest of the crowed.

He also says that he envys the autistic boy because he can really act on how he feels, rather then have to act according to the rules of society.

I tell plenty of people I have AS. Heck it was actually the subject of my speech final.

Most people just react with "Oh, that figures". But you have to realize that I'm constantly surrounded by the smartest and most mature people in the school. So their reaction is going to be a lot more positive then the average high school student.

As I recall,that is teh episode where the others muse that HOUSE might have AS!

In Tulsa Okla. the most popular diagnoses is ADHD or bipolar, and that AS is just for kids, its just really sad that some states are so far behind the times. friends will say to me ,but your not a boy or really smart, or they think that you have to be ret*d to be autistic , i just pay them on mind it's not like they hang around me all the time anyways.

Interesting. Maybe I should watch that show.

I bolded the lines that seemed especially important to reiterate. I'd had the thought before, but this is more succinct way to put it.
There are people in my life who don't take me seriously, including that this dx fits well in many ways for how I am (better than previous labels). Just because there are ways in which I "seem fine", that doesn't void/negate/disprove my major problems (with things I'm "too smart" not to understand). An ASD expresses/manifests differently from person to person.
Recently, a relative of mine sent me this (about my parents & I):and this:Feel all confused & mixed up from reading what she wrote. Does it mean I was not ASD until 5 years old, and then due to my parents I became this way ? I don't believe that, but I don't suspect her of dishonesty. Also, saying "you aren't (in someone else's opinion) autistic" seems both like a compliment & like a dismissal (so I feel conflicted).
Sorry for posting so self-centeredly...