Overcoming "The Touch Thing"

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Here's something really weird that I wanted to share. Or really cool. Or really, really nuts. Not sure which. Anyway, with that big buildup: THE ANTICLIMAX!! !!

So, I used to be really, really person-specific for who I would voluntarily let touch me. As in: My mom, my grandmother, sometimes my grandfather, and I hugged my dad a couple of times when emotional. And that was basically it.

Then, I took a couple of behaviorism classes last semester and started learning about how people can get over major phobias, and started to think I could get over the "touchaphobia" thing. I wasn't totally sure, though.

Then, Thagomizer, in all his glory, showed up on my radar, and dating became a possibility- provided I could overcome that issue with him.

He decried it as like "turning off a light switch." It stopped being an issue that quickly.

The person-specificity seems to have vanished, too. There's still a general lack of social skills, and I will turn down hugs if I feel gross (as in, in the summer, when I reek), and I still have killer startle reflexes when people move toward me or touch me unexpectedly, but otherwise I really seem to be over it.

I think that it helped that a. I believed I could overcome, b. I was motivated and c. I don't care that much about dignity so I will actually ASK people what is appropriate if I don't know.

Anybody have any similar experiences, or anything? This give you hope? I haven't heard anything like this on the threads here but I haven't read everything.

My therapist told me to pretend a spider was on me all the time and it didnt work.

my mantra is "the less tolerant I am, the more tolerant I am"

what this means is: the more I've said to people "I don't like touch" and crucially the more they have listened to it and respected my wishes., the more touch-tolerant I've become. with noise it's been even better, I've gone from being stuck in all the time and being very panicky when out to being able to spend all day out occasionally without needing earplugs. and all because I've managed to assert when I won't put up with noise and got other people to listen and take action. so for example if we're sitting in a cafe and there's a crying baby getting on my nerves I'll say we have to change tables... this means that I have more spare nervous energy to deal with other unexpected noise, instead of having all my nervous energy drained by the crying baby and having a meltdown at unexpected noise later. so it's also true in reverse - the more tolerant I am the less tolerant I am later - if I think 'well I won't say anything, I'll just put up with the noise...' I will just get stressed out and overloaded later on.

I also say 'the more autistic I am the less autistic I am'... so for example the more I let myself stim the less I have meltdowns, and the more I decide I'm not going to communicate where it's difficult for me (and again it's crucial that others are made to respect that) the less I've actually had communication difficulties, resulting in more and better real communication overall.

I do the same thing - whatever I can do that reduces the sensory exposure helps me manage sensory input.
I have not been able to overcome the touch thing because it gives me a chewing foil sensation to have my skin touched. I am OK with handshakes, but the more skin contact the worse it is. There are very few people who can hug me. On the other hand, if I am doing well in terms of sensory exposure management, I will tolerate hugs because they help the other person.

I'm better with hugs as long as skin isn't touching skin. Though I still don't like them. But I can bear them easier.