Does the misfortune of others make you feel bad?

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corroonb
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15 Aug 2008, 12:15 pm

Does it upset you when bad things happen to other people?

It doesn't upset me. I feel sympathy for them but nothing else. I guess I have to know people to empathize with them.



Fnord
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15 Aug 2008, 12:19 pm

corroonb wrote:
Does it upset you when bad things happen to other people?

Sometimes, especially when it's not their fault.

But when someone who became wealthy by cheating others out of their wealth finally gets caught, accused, tried, convicted, sentenced, and incarcerated, then I can't help but smile.

(O.J. Simpson; you are one bad, bad man.)


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Irulan
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15 Aug 2008, 12:24 pm

I don't care what others can feel then. I'm indifferent to the misfortune of people, commenting it with Tralfamadorian "so it goes".



Kirska
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15 Aug 2008, 12:30 pm

corroonb wrote:
Does it upset you when bad things happen to other people?

It doesn't upset me. I feel sympathy for them but nothing else. I guess I have to know people to empathize with them.

Well I'm a believer in karma. I think a lot of times when bad things happen to people they brought it upon themselves or they somehow deserved it.

Sometimes that's not the case, and for that I do feel bad for people, but not in a "my heart hurts" sort of way but just sort of observing the fact that it sucks. I do feel genuinely bad for people that have HORRIFIC things happen to them... the sort of thing that no one should have to go through.

I know usually when bad things happen to me they are my own fault at least in some way.

That being said, I hope that I would have compassion for someone who's in genuine immediate danger. I don't want to be the jerk that walks by like nothing happened when someone gets hit by a car. Treat others as you want to be treated, so to speak.


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Bradleigh
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15 Aug 2008, 12:36 pm

Actualy I feel quite bad when someone has misfortune, I infact have felt so bad that I have tried to distance myself so I am not as stressed.


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RubieRoze
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15 Aug 2008, 1:03 pm

When I hear about something bad happening to someone, I mimic the learned response of, “Oh, how terrible!” But I think it, rather than feel it.

If it’s something that I heard/saw on the news and I happen to be alone, that’s pretty much the extent of my reaction. Sometimes I will store the information to initiate and participate in conversation with others at a later time. (Sorry if that sounds cold, but I am absolutely lousy at small talk, and I’ve noted that people are inclined to talk at length about tragedy. This is simply a way to connect.)

If it happens to someone I know, then I put much more effort into seeing how they (and others around me) are reacting to the situation, and make great efforts to tailor an empathetic response accordingly.

I wish that bad things would never happen to anybody (that doesn’t deserve it), but I don’t have an immediate emotional reaction.


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corroonb
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15 Aug 2008, 1:15 pm

I've given up on trying to think myself into a state of empathy. It simply doesn't work and makes me feel more of fake than usual. It doesn't really sadden me to hear of misfortune of others, I do feel some sympathy but I fail to see the point of making myself feel bad in response to the suffering of others. Surely that just increases the amount of suffering in the world?



Eggman
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15 Aug 2008, 1:23 pm

It depends on who they are. Some people I think diserve it.



DJRnold
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15 Aug 2008, 1:33 pm

Yes.



BokeKaeru
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15 Aug 2008, 3:37 pm

I feel bad when it's something completely undeserved, especially if it involves someone I care about, or someone who is absolutely defenseless or powerless to stop or change the situation. It bothers me, especially when I can't help them, defend them or fix the situation. Usually, just because it's easier to deal with than helpfulness and sadness, my reaction turns to anger - not at the victim, of course, but at the situation, the person causing the problem, or the systems at work that make it impossible to solve.

However, when it's people who have in whatever way had it coming to them, I can't say I don't experience a fair amount of schadenfreude at their expense - especially if the way that they experienced misfortune is one that resulted directly from, or somehow ironically fits, their actions. Often the only negative feeling I have as a result of such a situation is that I didn't bring it about myself.



claire-333
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15 Aug 2008, 6:08 pm

I have a hard time relating to the misfortunes of others.



patternist
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15 Aug 2008, 6:37 pm

I feel bad...if I've been in that same situation, or a similar one. And when it's really tear-your-eyes-out obvious, like starving children. Children, animals and other helpless things arouse a strong maternal instinct in me.

I hate to admit it, but a lot of the time, I don't notice misfortune for what it is unless I've lived it. Perfect example:
Guy walking in the summer heat: feel bad.
Guy walking in the snow: don't really notice, don't really care. (I've never experienced snow)
I usually have to find the thing I identify with in order to feel sympathy for people.



-JR
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15 Aug 2008, 8:04 pm

Things totally undeserved-feel quite bad, dunno what to do.
Things that happen by chance, and minor-source of laughter.
Things that happen by chance, and major-source of laughter, but suppressed. Good example of this-when a shipment "blows up" at the shop. I love it.

Anyway, I don't feel bad for OJ, but I do feel bad for criminals at times. I see every action as having a source, and really cannot imagine anybody as "evil," even child molestors, rapists, murderers. Everything has it's origin. A crime has to be punished, but I can't help but thinkk that if given every tool and choice available to non-criminals, they wouldn't behave that way. A gangster grows up in gang infested territory, he becomes a gangster-go figure! There's choice in the matter, but it's not like everyone is born with a complete set of rules engraved in their heads. The environment shapes the "rules" and what is considered "evil" or "bad." I hate a lot of people's habits and activities, but really, I cannot see myself as above anyone. We are shaped by our environments more than people care to admit, free will is an ILLUSION.

I'm a manners/image conscious guy, but one thing I have to hold back from is laughing at people. It just comes to me sometimes.


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philosopherBoi
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15 Aug 2008, 8:31 pm

I can hardly kill a spider because it tears me us seeing is die, so if another human is suffering it breaks my heart.



tweety_fan
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16 Aug 2008, 1:10 am

i do feel bad for others when something bad happens to them. sometimes.

but i don't feel bad for them all the time.



1Oryx2
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16 Aug 2008, 1:32 am

Not really, though I still pray for them.

Mostly I think I'm just sympethetic -although sometimes I am sad.