If someone reassured you it's ok to have avg intelligence...

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...what would you conclude?


BTW, this question is inspired by a meeting I had with a psychologist over 6 years ago. The psychologist nodded her head and reassured me in a very self-assured manner that it is ok to have average intelligence. I felt that she implied that I have average intelligence, which I found very insulting considering that at the time I was an honors student and also considering the fact that the psychologist never gave me an intelligence test.

None of the above, I think. She probably thinks you are disappointed that you feel you have average intelligence.

If someone said that to me, I wouldn't bat an eyelid. I know myself that my intelligence isn't average.

I wouldn't think it was a judgement on my intelligence, but rather on the perceived high standards I have for myself. I would assume the psychologist thinks I attach great importance to doing better than average in everything, and that she is assuming that I therefore think it is not okay to be average, and that she is assuring me that sometimes it's okay to be average. Or maybe she thinks I am judging others by their intelligence and thinking myself superior to them, and she wants to challenge the assumption behind that. Either way, I would think it is not a comment on my own intelligence, but on the way that I view intelligence.

I've been to so many doctors and they've said "You're pretty smart"
I wonder if they say that to other people.

I can't stand being average

I live my life in constant fear of being viewed as stupid. I also never know what the crap anyone really means when words start coming out of their mouth. So yeah, I probably would have taken a bit of offense to a comment like that. Also, like you, six years later, I would still be wondering what the crap they really meant.

That's a possibility, but if that's the case then that psychologist totally misread me, which I find very insulting because it likely means that the psychologist projected her perception of my level of intelligence onto me.



Given the way that woman treated me, I don't think she perceived me as being overcompetitive or overachieving.



That's another possibility. She might have noticed that I had a bit of an attitude and felt that it was important to remind me that it's ok to be average. Or perhaps she was simply trying to devaluate my ego, for the reasons I just mentioned.

That's why I tend not to like psychologists. They think they are mind readers. And they are usually wrong.

well, it depends on who's average you're considering. Among AS and psychologists, the average is probably above the population at large.

Don't sweat it. You could always ask what her IQ is, though you'll probably get the 'we're here to discuss you"

Or she told you to not look down on people with average intelligence.

I've been accused of that in the past and in the end they were right.

She sort of treated me a bit condescendingly so if she thought I looked down upon people of average intelligence it was most likely not because she thought I have above average intelligence.

Key word, "reassured". That word assumes that the person in question knows or at least believes you have average intelligence. That may not be true in actuality... but then again, about 95% of people can be described to have "normal intelligence" in terms of two standard deviations from the norm; so it's not a horrible guess to make about someone. You'll only be wrong one in twenty times.

She's a professional--might treat anyone condescendingly. Autistic people with really high IQs have ended up being treated like little dogs that can do cute tricks... y'know, because it can't be REAL, it's just savant skills... bleh.

That might be similar to the message that took me a while to figure out; it's both a statement and to show how your manner might affect others.

I'm not stating it's exactly the same, but as it took me a while to figure that out, it might be similar.

There is nothing wrong with having average intelligence. It doesn't make you stupid. Yes that really is my point of view on it.

Perhaps her comment was more along the lines of: stop feeling bitter because you are not brilliant, you have average intelligence, which is ok.

If that's what happened, I still feel insulted, for three reasons: one, the psychologist is assuming that I want to be brilliant; two, the psychologist is assuming that I am bitter because I am not brilliant; and three, the psychologist thinks that I have average intelligence, even though my level of intelligence has not been formally evaluated. Of course, I am not a mind reader, so it's impossible for me to know what that woman was thinking.



Having an intelligence that's within what's considered a "normal" range is not the same as having average intelligence.



It's possible that I am not the only person she has treated condescendingly.

Well, you used the verb "reassured" which sort of already colors the situation with your interpretation of what she was trying to do.

This seems likely, especially if you hadn't been with her long. I remember getting ahold of hospital assessment files from when I was admitted into a youth center for awhile at age 15- the examiner had marked down my intelligence as "average" out of the options "poor, average, or exceptional."

I was a little miffed until I remembered how withdrawn I had been during my initial half hour examination. And also that the only question to test my intelligence had been a verbal request to name the presidents backwards from George W. Bush- at age 15 I didn't remember and didn't care.