Overwhelmed by processes

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I'm probably more ADD or some sort of memory related learning disability than AS, or at least this issue is. But I'd imagine many here have the same problem.

What I'm talking about is getting all the little steps done to completion in accomplishing things. Like filling out paperwork, doing the communication legwork, knowing what to say, knowing who to ask, writing out letters, asking for letters, doing legal mumbo-jumbo, understanding legal mumbo-jumbo, taking tests, getting certified, paying fees and some light shmoozing. And on top of all of this you need the organization to keep all this stuff together. I just can't manage it. I get so overwhelmed at the thought of doing this, I just embrace despair.

Especially when it comes to writing anything or communicating. This is so dreadful, I don't know what to say or how to communicate my ideas. I just think so non-linearly, and non-word that coming up with words to express my thoughts is impossible.

In my earlier stages of my life, pre college, I had other people help me get all this stuff organized. Now that I'm graduated and need to go to the next stage of college, start a career... I have to do a ton of this stuff... and I can't keep it straight. And I know down the road there is just going to be more and more of this, at any job, at any school... anywhere... life is full of this stuff... and I just don't know how I'm going to manage it.

Everyone in my life seems to think I can manage this stuff on my own, but I really believe that I can't... but I don't know how to ask for help. Needing help with social skills communication is terrible because you don't know how to communicate and show the exact problem that you have.

Gah, maybe this should go in the haven or somewhere else. But I'd like to hear personal stories about how people manage... or get by.

I feel horrible, because internally I feel smart enough to do some sort of great thing... but without being able to manage all the processes around me... I'll never amount to anything and become basically a bum. It's like I'm teetering on the edge of success or oblivion, one push in either direction will get me there... but I've been on this edge for all of my adult life going nowhere....

I could not manage that stuff on my own.
I'm unemployed and live with my mum, so I can't really give you a personal story. I don't do the shopping or cooking, I just do the cleaning and other chores.

I remember I had difficulties in college managing the workload that I had to drop out.

I eventually finished college... after a good 8 years.

When I went to try to get diagnosed with AS, the psychiatrist said it was surprising that I even got a degree. That's another issue, I tried to get diagnosed with AS... with money I got from my Mom's life insurance. But the psychiatrist didn't really diagnose anything... and I just kept on going to him... giving him money for just general sessions... that were good to talk to someone... but they didn't accomplish anything. And I feel sort of taken advantage of... since he knew that I'm not good at organizing and planning and getting things done... but he didn't really accomplish anything. And now I'm out of money...

I only have my sister in my immediate family with her own personal problems, my Mom's dead... and I'm not in contact with my Dad.

My extended family is large, but they all of their own problems and don't believe me when I start to explain the depth of my issues. They think I'm smart enough to manage anything that life throws at me... since I'm in general more intelligent than most of my extended family at academic stuff... except one aunt and one uncle.

I also have this same problem to an extent. I know processes can be overwhelming. There have been times when I´ve wanted to do something, or maybe learn something new, but if it requires too many steps I can feel so overwhelmed that I end up not giving it a try because I don´t even know where to start!

What has helped me a lot is to write things down. I have a calendar- (one where every day is a separate page- what are those called?)- where I write down all of my day to day appointments, or whatever, as well as all the things I need to get done on that day. I write down EVERYTHING I might forget, even things like "wash hair" or "buy food", if I´m worried I may not do it. Then, in a separate notebook, I may write things of a more specific nature; for instance, every step it takes to get me to a specific goal, and I tic off each thing as I do them. When you do this, and see it as a bunch of little parts- (i.e., taking "baby steps" ) it´s easier and less overwhelming than having the whole massive thing in your head. If you know of someone who can give you advice on how to organize like this, you might want to ask them. Otherwise, just try it and see. Just take the little baby steps each day....there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

I found that by doing this, by writing things systematically to organize myself has been very helpful, and ultimately, I became a much more organized person, so it can really change how you react to these problems. It´s easiest when you´re really motivated about what you need to do. If you´re not feeling motivated by it, then give yourself a reward; in other words, when you take one of the steps successfully, when you accomplished what you set out to do that day, give yourself a special little treat. Then you´ll be more motivated to do these things. The key, I think, is to think of things as little parts, or steps, with your goal as the final "step". Good luck!

I feel the same. I find that the lists can be very helpful, though it might take some time to figure out a list method that works for you. I tend to write out one list of things I have to do for the week, then spend a while trying to prioritise them - that part is never easy. If I get that part done, I try to make a detailed plan of action for the day - get up, shower, brush teeth, clean room, eat brekfast, take vitamins, exercise, plan to leave the house, take keys, phone, wallet etc. etc. After a while in this habit, it's been having good effects, but it's hard to keep on track. So many things are incompatible with eachother.

I wanted to go back to University in October, but I'm probably too late to bother applying now. I struggle with that failure/success dichotomy every day. It's a shame to be smart really, everyone thinks a smart person can take care of themselves. Just remember you'll always have wrong planet for advice.

You'll figure out daily life eventually, but it's not going to come easy or naturally. Just keep trying and keep yourself motivated.