Blame the poster above you

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It's your fault he has no legs left after you severed his remaining leg to use as a lettuce substitute.

I've got a glut of lettuce growing in the garden. The Mrs was getting fed up with all the lettuce salads and asked if I can make it into soup for a change. I looked it up and yes you can, so I made some and it was quite good. Turned out spouse was being sarcastic suggesting lettuce soup, but she did enjoy it.

Erm, your fault I've got RSI writing this post.

It's your fault both you and your wife will turn into lettuce by tomorrow morning. Murihiku will be popping around with his bag for life.

It's your fault I've got hoards of people at the door wanting lettuce!

It's your fault they're threatening you with a noose!

I blame you for standing there selling rope!

It's your fault I'm sitting here eating pickled onion monster munch....watching your death unfold (how many times is that now?!).

You can try but... my real name is Captain Jack Harkness.

I blame you for enjoying trying to kill me off. Sadist!

Well that's entirely your fault for being such a drama queen everytime you die. It's no biggy!

I blame you for making Bill and Ted flunk their history class. Bogus!

Your fault reminding me of that old film. Keanu Reeves wasn't it, when he was a kid? ... reminds me the new Matrix film is out.

I blame you for confusing me because you didn’t blame me for anything.

I blame you for forgetting the first half of sentences after reading them.

And for not answering his question.

I still blame you, it's your fault for everything from the conquest of the Romans to the 2nd World War, it's all your doing!

Says the genocidal maniac. It's your fault your country inspired him.

That's rich coming from someone who commits vegicide every day! All my friends and relatives chopped, decapitated and murdered by your kitchen knife!