Should an Aspie adult have children?

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I have no interest in having children. With my severe sound sensitivity and sleeping disorders it would be a nightmare. Not to mention the cost... No, not for me. I wouldn't mind being a auntie though

I have Aspergers Syndorme and have a child on the way and have some big fears. I wrote about them in my blog, but my situation is a bit more complicated. I'm really starting to have some Fears About parenting

As a father with AS, I don't regret having children. My oldest quiet possibly has ADD - he's been exhibiting difficulties of focusing at school and the few times he sits still are for video games or SpongeBob (at seven he's already memorized every cartoon network channel on tv. I'm lucky if I remember which channel is the tv guide one telling me what all the channels are). My youngest is fully autistic, still not speaking at the age of six and a total nightmare for my NT relatives. With that said, I love both of them because there's a connection, regardless of the pro's and con's of my assortment of genes being passed on to another generation - they are my sons, the only two people that fully okay with me being the way I am. (This might change when they're teenagers, but that's a long ways off in the future.)

My oldest one is also talkative. I don't mind this actually, I'll have conversations with him during car rides usually with him trying to pick the radio stations or wondering when he can drive. Since I didn't have the urge to learn how to drive until I was twenty five, his enthusiasm is refreshing. Of course, there's the standard parent reply: "when you're older!" followed by his slight pout and "awwwww. BOR-ING!" How he manages to stretch this one word out is one of the few things I find vastly amusing for no reason.

My autistic son, there's the mixed sense of envy and nostalgia. I look at him and wonder, is this what I was like during the first ten years of my life I have no memory of? Did I have this blissful freedom of doing whatever I felt life - of exploring every corner of the house unafraid to climb on top of the fridge? Being entertained by flicking the light switch on and off a dozen times just to watch the room light up? Of having absolutely no set sleeping schedule and crashing whenever I fully exhausted myself? I don't know, my childhood's a blur so watching him is like seeing pieces of my past connect for once.

Also the intelligence that is lurking beneath the surface, just because he doesn't talk doesn't mean he isn't picking up on his surroundings. I've often wished I didn't have to talk, so while at times I wish he could state his needs - it's not something that can be rushed, it'll happen when and if he's ready to.

So, for me it's been rewarding. Sure there was that period of adjusting, the toddler years were hell with getting used to waking up constantly if they make the slightest noise (I'm a light sleeper anyway); the constant diaper changes, and endless trips to the peditrian for shots and immunizations. Eventually though, the daily routine becomes familar - the turbulence evens out, and while I have "me" time there is also "family time" and "ugh eight more hours of work time".

I find Aspies are either really great or really terrible at any gfiven set of skills. If kids are in your skill-set, go for it. If not, study under someone else who is good at it, and make sure you have some good role models in place for emergency consults if you're not good at it, and onlt then go ahead. idf at all possible, partner up with someone who is good with kids. I have a weird effect on kids myself -- they go joyfully hyperspastic in my presence and their parents say "she NEVER acts like this, honestly!" I shudder to think what would happen if I actually had one of my own.

I have one baba and another on the way.
I have taken all precautions dietary, suppliments and medical for giving the baba the best chance at being as well functioning as possible, and that's all I will do.
Our daughter is gorgeous. Already a lil odd.. >< But so happy and loving at only 15 mths. She's wonderful and I can't wait to meet her sibling.

I think that we should take all possible precautions, but after that enjoy parenthood!

I've thought about it and, were it possible, I'd adopt a kid one day - if the kid had AS and had a hard time because of it, at least it wouldn't be my fault. Of course, it's just hypothetical - the chances of a weird, single male being allowed to adopt are zero, even though there is no shortage of unwanted children in the world.
Some days ago I did a science demonstrating thing at a school, it was exhausting and stressful but fun. I should do that sort of thing more often, realistically, as I have no nieces or nephews, it's the only sort of contact I'll ever have with kids.
I feel sorry for my parents, as I know they want grandkids one day.

I am not diagnosed, but fairly certain I have AS. I have three children. It was not until I noticed something not right with one of my children that I started learning about what was not right with myself. We are learning about our issues and how to combat them together. I like that I can advocate for him and understand him better than others -- something I didn't have growing up or even until recently. Is he difficult? Yes. Do I feel bad that I probably passed this on to him, and that his siblings have to be subject to some of my neurosis? Absolutely. Would I trade them for the world or regret having them? Never.

i'm aspie... and have four... aspie kids!

Update...

My only baby so far is sick... and her pain has brought out all SORTS of traits! XD
We're just at home laughing. She's only 16 mths, but it's like she's become a stereotypical aspie overnight!

Here's hoping she'll loose a few so we can sleep when she's better, but looks like there's a good chance I could be joining you as an aspie parent of an aspie in another while aspi-rant! :p

As a AS adult I don't want kids. Even before the diagnosis at 15 I knew I didn't want kids there's too many people on Earth already so why ruin it with one more person.Used to be easy to get sterlised but now you have to go through hell to be able to get one. If I want something to love I'll get a pet thanks.

I still want to be a parent.

I have three children. I never really considered whether or not to have children, as each conception took me by surprise. It seems that no type of contraception worked well for me, despite using it correctly. I do not regret having my children, however.

I know that genetically, my chance of having a child on the spectrum was high. There are people all over the autism spectrum in my family. My oldest, 7, has Aspergers. My daughter, 6, has Rett Syndrome. While it is considered the most severe ASD, it is not something she inherited. It was a random mutation in the sperm or egg that created her. Neither my husband, or myself, carry the mutation. My youngest is 4, and seems fairly NT, with a few traits here and there.

I knew at 16, long before I'd even heard of AS, that I didn't want kids. My parents are comfortable with this, even though I'm an only child, though my extended family think that it's unheard of and that I'll eventually change my mind. Life isn't long enough for everything I want to do -- why do something I don't? I also think that raising kids isn't something to go into half-heartedly, and I'd rather not have any that do an average job of it.

I prefer kids of the variety I can hand back at the end of the day, and I think I'd make a much better aunt than mother. I've had some amazing chidfree people in my life, and I really value the time they spent with me, so I'd like to do the same for the children of my friends.

If they have the resources

If taht person has the resources and the desire

I'm married to an NT, altho he has one or two flags that are somewhat Aspie, but not enough to hinder him, he's too social and a go getter. I have 2 kids, I always wanted 2 kids and I got them, one is 4, about to turn 5 in Jan, and has AS, and the other is 2.5 and was born with a clefting in the hard and soft palate only and is NT. Both children have speech delays, altho really you wouldn't know it with my youngest, as she never shuts up.

I try very hard to be a good parent, I know the ins and outs of making sure they are well care for and taken care of, but sometimes I fail on the emotional part. Because of my focus' I tend to lose myself in them and become emotionally distant. I can sew or crochet or draft patterns all day long, but I can't tolerate when they start bothering me, and I have a hard time not understanding why they can't be happy watching TV all day. I know that this is an issue with me that I work on overcoming everyday. The other problem I have is that I fall into the "I'm so much more happier staying shut up in the house all day", the poor kids suffer from that because mom doesn't leave the house unless I have to. I suffer from massive anxiety taking them out in public. It can bring me to tears and has, my son on his own is pretty good about behaving but add in the 2 y/o and it's hell for me, as she doesn't listen at all and does what she wants, she's such a foriegn thinker to me that I can't figure out what to say or do to make her behave, and I start feeling like I'm "that-mom" out in public, the one who won't discipline her children, but that's not the case at all.

I find I yell a lot at them too, because I'm stuck at that point where time-out's have no effect on my AS son and my daughter is just at that stage where she will laugh at me when I put her in time-out, so my lack of understanding how to parent is major here. Other mom's, the NT one's have to remind me of the simple things that I tend to over-look.

As for school, my son is in pre-school now, he has an IEP and a speech therapist as well as normal preschool, and I find dealing with the teachers awkward. Filling out paper work is 'fun', not, they had to tell me not to be so literal with some of it, sick is sick, that's all we need to know. Also I always feel like I'm the last to know, like other parents get the memo on things and I'm just clueless, because of this, one of his teachers is frustrated with me and is generally rude to me like I'm stupid, she doesn't understand that I just don't get it. She also got mad at me once for being early to a meeting, I thought early was a good thing? I did snap back at them once, they had the nerve to tell me that "I needed to follow the IEP!" I looked her in the eye and told her "My job is to be his parent, yours is to be his teacher, the IEP is for you to follow!"

I love my kids to death, but I do have alot of issues to work thru in learning to be not an adequate parent but a good parent, but I don't regret my kids.