Changing My Video Game Interest at 30

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I'm 30 years old and I've known I'm an aspie for a very short while (a couple months). Since I got my first Nintendo as a small boy I've been addicted to video games (previous to this it was TMNT), first RPGs then MMOs. It is/was what I now know to be my main special interest. I'm lucky in that despite being an aspie I was driven enough to be successful professionally and am entirely independent. However, growing up I always thought that as I aged eventually I would "grow up" and leave video games and looked forward to it. So I've been addicted to these games now for just over 20 years. I wholeheartedly recognize that video games are the #1 reason I'm not getting what I want out of my life (as far as fitness, social opportunities and experiences). I have tried to quit video games many times in my adult life. Cold turkey does not work and neither does limited time (explained later).

After learning about being an Aspie and working with my therapist I now understand why I continue to fail. As video games are addictive by nature, the length of my addiction, are my special interest and therefore are my go-to when I need to have my mental recharge after dealing with real world social issues, the rut I have gotten myself into is VERY deep. When I try to quit what happens is that I do well for a while but because my secondary interest is fitness/gym and I can't do that for as many hours as I played video games, its not enough of a "soother" to normalize my mind again (compounding to this is the loss of the continual dopamine fix that occurs in the brain while playing). Because I've not experienced/discovered anything else that can hold my focus for the same amount of time as games quick enough after quitting, I fail and am drawn right back in. Without being able to "reset"/soothe my brain as easily or quickly I begin to flounder and get desperate. I end up playing again; irst its just a "little bit" but just like any addict, it quickly gets back to its old level. Its basically a battle on two fronts that seems impossible to win, I'm battling an actual addiction and also battling the symptoms/needs of my Asperger's.

I'm looking for advice from anyone that has worked their way out of this type of thing as an adult. Most specifically, how did you find something as similarly engaging quick enough after leaving games that allowed you to get the same soothing effect that is needed to be ready for your next social engagement? I want to get out of this rut terribly and am sick of failing myself. Thank you all for any advice.

I will just comment on your line, "how did you find something as similarly engaging quick enough after leaving games"?

Now, personally, I think Children should not be exposed to Video games because they are such an addictive fantasy that is more engaging than reality, Children should live in the real world, experience real life, looking for Frogs and catching Sticklebacks.

When you get to being an adult however, what do people do with their free-time?
most just sit there and watch TV, that to me is even more of a waste of time than playing computer games so I wouldn't come down to hard on yourself.

Maybe you should be going out partying every night and meeting real people instead of wasting your life, I used to be out every night in my 20s, but I cannot afford it now, and whats more, I dont even enjoy it.

I would only consider yourself as having a problem if the games are stopping you from doing something more useful and real that is in your reach.

Otherwise, you are still doing something thats a step above the Telly addicted masses.

I'm very close to your age and been gaming since Nintendo.

Do you only play MMO now? MMOs tend to be more addictive and they don't actually END, so it's easier to get sucked in for long periods of time. Have you tried moving back to single player games that have less of an addictive structure? You could load up a short game to relax, but since it has an end, you're forced to stop at some point.

I know this isn't exactly the advice you were looking for, but I can't answer how to quit completely because I haven't needed to do that.

I can relate very very well and am in a similar situation. Video games have always been my special interest, and in typical aspie fashion, I would concentrate on a specific game or genre of game for years, then change. My phases were:

Various Nintendo games (childhood to about 13. After this I rarely played single player games with a definite end to them.)
Dance Dance Revolution and other Bemani games (13-15 or so, I would hang out at the arcade playing this most days of the week.)
Counter-Strike (16-18, was never very good at this game actually)
WoW (18-20, probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me, I'm never touching an MMO again)

And now for the past 2 years I've been obsessing over fighting games, particularly Street Fighter. I go to tournaments and stuff for the game and am about to go to a huge one called Final Round where there will be around 500 entrants for just SF. It's very fun and although it's a competitive environment I've met a lot of friends through this and tbh it's where I get most of my socializing.

Just the other day I looked at how much I've played Street Fighter in the past couple years and it's over 800 hours, I've also spent several hundred playing other fighting games as well...I guess I've always been attracted to games where I can always improve and that's my downfall because sometimes I take it too seriously and can't stop.

I want to do other things with my life. Work out, get good at tennis and raquetball, get good at making electronic music, learn more about politics, read more, etc. But this stupid obsession is holding me back, and I'm somewhat ashamed of it. I don't think most girls will care that I'm good at a nerd hobby like this either even if I occasionally win money from it.

I too wish I could make myself "grow up" and care more about grown up things. I can schedule other activities and do them, sure. But my heart's not in it.

How much of this desire to give up video games is insecurity over it not being "for adults"? If that is most of it, I would say to just get over that. Gaming IS an adult hobby now. Our generation grew up with it.

Being able to balance it out with something to keep you in shape is very important, however. I keep something like this near my desk:



It's small. No need to fuss with a gym or commit to a long procedure. Any downtime or pause, stop and do as many sets as you can. Make a routine and give yourself rules about it. Doing this throughout the day and every day, plus making sure your diet is disciplined and healthy, you can get in decent shape even if you play games all the time.

Well I do go to the gym. I'm in pretty good shape by most standards but I'm not at where I'd like to be. The problem I face with the conflicting interests of video games with going to the gym is sometimes because I get so tied up in my mind about the video games that I will think about them most of the day. Although I do wholeheartedly want to go to the gym the focused direction of the video game crave creates what I would describe as a rift between my brain and my body. If you're an experienced lifter, you know that when your brain and your body aren't on the same page and going in the same direction for working out, you get little to nothing out of your workouts as the focus you need is lost. Unfortunately I sprained my shoulder last weekend playing football (real football) so I can't go lift for a couple weeks. Sure enough, the game time has increased in the interim.

I have had problems with time management as related to video games (and some other hobbies as well). The difficultly is that if I get sufficiently involved in an activity, I can lose track of time to a great degree, continuing to do the activity well past the amount of time I had planned to initially. I tried something fairly recently that has helped:

an alarm clock. When I sit down to play a game I will set the alarm clock for the time I wish to stop playing. I set it with the intention, and promise to myself, that I will stop, no matter what, when that alarm rings. It really works. Snaps me out of my, let's say, for lack of a better word, trance.

I started to slip academically in college and decided a couple weeks ago I needed to stop gaming completely. I've always been an obsessive gamer since I was young (I'm only 19 now), and have half-heartedly tried to stop before, but this time, I actually found it easy to stop. I see all my peers doing useful things with their lives, going to parties,, volunteering, etc, and wanted to do the same. I want to do something useful with my life instead of just staring at a tv screen. I'll admit, I had a lot, and I mean a LOT, of fun times gaming, but it's all so hollow. When I'm on my deathbed, I want to look back on my life and be able to say I did something worthwhile.

I've tried moderating myself, limiting how much I gamed, but I could never do it. There's always a new game, or new DLC, or something rekindling my interest, and I found moderation impossible. I found this article fairly helpful, maybe you guys will too.

http://kingpinlifestyle.com/how-to-quit ... deo-games/

I think it depends on whether gaming provides you with sufficient satisfaction. If you have reached a point where you don't feel as satisfied, or have a sense that much of the time is 'wasted', then I think you are in a position to make a change.

I would suggest two actions:
1. Whilst you are gaming, or returning to it, try to think on whether you are happy or satisfied. If you focus on a feeling of disatisfaction then it is possible that you could be sufficiently motivated to do something else.
2. Find something else to focus on - something that has sufficient complexity and represents an intellectual challenge. So, for example, if you are the gym you have something else to focus on other than gaming.

As someone who has spent a lot of time gaming, this is what I've done. I still enjoy them, but they are definitely less important and more of a hobby. I think it depends how you perceive the productivity of the time spent.

Gaming is not something I think I will ever give up, the world around me sucks and gaming is my escape. If it weren't for video games I don't know where I would be.

Grown-up activities my foot. The average gamer is said to be 30 years old. I too have been a gamer for many years, but have no intention of stopping. I'll continue to game for the rest of my life.

For several years I was utterly hooked on MMO games, I may as well have lived in Azeroth. The rest of the world didn't really exist and its not that I didn't want to do other things, there just wasn't the time left. Recently, my MMO addiction just faded away into nothing. I don't know why, maybe it will come back again? I kind of hope not at this time when I can see just how addicted I was.

In terms of obsessive interests, I think my brain needs them to maintain that certain level of mental activity that it prefers. I tried hard not to, but then I'm so bored and drift around without purpose otherwise. Normally, it seems that when one interest fades into the background its because something else has come into focus and gained my attention. I don't find that same level of mental stimulation in any other area of life.

Considering the amount of time I have spent at WrongPlanet since I found it, I think I'm starting to become hooked.

Been gaming since I got my NES at 6 years old. I don't really care what people think about me doing it because I love it and it's none of their business, really.

Also there are tons of adult gamers anyway, it's not rare.