Honest Agnosticism

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I know people tend to read "agnostic" as an euphemism for "atheist".
I disagree.
It means one doesn't know and lives admitting not knowing.
And I find myself as a kind of "Christianity-based agnostic". I mean I do admit a lot of moral and spiritual values that contemplating Christian beliefs may carry. Yet I can't honestly say that I believe. It may be all wrong. Or, even more likely, the reality may be too unimaginable for any religion to explain. Dealing with quantum physics, where the hard physical reality expands beyond imagination, opened me to this possibility.
Maybe even the question if God exists does not have a simple true answer like "yes" or "no".

What comes out of this? If God exists, we should live good lifes, being good to others. But if God doesn't exist, it's even more urgent to be good to others because they would have no compensation in the afterlives for their suffering now.
So the Good Samaritan ethics holds.
And if God exists, I prefer to tell Him – Well, I didn't believe in you – I was wrong – than to say "I believe" in a church every Sunday when I don't mean it.

It's not atheism. It's confronting myself with my deep inability to know – and accepting it that way.

I don't know why I shared it... maybe I just wanted to put it to words to sort these things out.