Should an Aspie adult have children?

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I see absolutely no reason why Aspies shouldn't have kids. My wife and I have a beautiful four year old girl, and no one can tell me we shouldn't have had her just because of my Asperger's. Because she is herself autistic, she has had her meltdowns in public, but nothing we can't handle. There have been NT's who have raised question not only about her, but also about our parenting. But that's their problem, not ours.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

we have 2 boys, one has moderate to severe autism. im self-dx aspie, my wife claims to be NT

if you can see a geneticist they can tell you the % chance of you and spouse having a child with an asd based on probability. We did this when we where considering a third child and it took AGES to get in to see them. After much blood testing etc and discussion the chances where in the 10-15% range and i was the lucky recipient of a vascectomy shortly afterwards.

having said all that i wouldnt change anything

Never been a parent in any way, shape, or form. Saw it as more from economic reasons than anything else. Average child in the USA costs at least $200,000 from the time of birth to graduating from college. I could use that money in other ways and not have a child. Sorry if it sounds like a cold answer (as if I don't care).

Not cold, Jazz, just smart. To your point I add the fact that it is absolutely thankless much of the time.

I do want children someday. Maybe it's because I want to carry on my legacy but I don't want to...corrupt my family tree. If I ever do get married, I hope it will be to an NT, because I think that might decrease the chance that my children will have AS. I don't think I would be able to take it if my children had Aspergers or Autism. I just don't think I could handle that, knowing what kind of future lay ahead for that child. I don't want a child to have to go through that. But at the same time, I think I'd make a decent dad.

I never want children and wish to have a tubal ligation as soon as I'm old enough. I find the physical aspect of pregnancy disgusting (a parasite living inside of my body for nine months), don't really like children, believe my genes aren't all that special, and have very low maternal instinct (I watch my friend's child, who is four months old, on occasion, and never can really tell why she's crying or anything).

Above all, I don't feel it's right for me to risk having a child since I have AS. I wouldn't condemn others for doing so, that's their decision, but I feel that my suffering as a child and my problems are reason enough to not risk a child having to suffer with that again. If I had a kid with autism or AS, I don't think I would be able to forgive myself for putting those problems on them. It has made my life difficult enough, why would I risk making another life hard?

Anyone could have an Autistic kid. If you really want some, I don't think this should hold you back.
Personally, when I think about the possibility of producing an Autist, I am a little put off. But when I think about it, who's more suited to raise an Autist than another Autist? Surely we could relate to an Autistic child far more easily than an NT parent?

IMO means In My Opinion

as to my take: I don't want to have children. I doubt I'll ever feel financially secure enough. I have deep issues with.... ickiness... I don't think my particular gene set needs passing on, it's given me a lot of good stuff but there's a lot of health problems as well as the AS in there.

that said, if my sister (who isn't a genetic relation) ever has children, I'll be extremely happy to be the irresponsible but very cool uncle that lets them drink lots of coke and stay up to watch Star Trek/Earth: Final Conflict/(awesome sci-fi show of the future that's on at later than normal bedtime) and buys them cool presents rather than the educational stuff their parents give them. Just like I had such people in my life when I was little.

plus, y'know, uncles and aunties don't generally have to deal with them when they're being bratty

there are sort of two different points here; whether one should pass on one' genes, and whether one should raise a child. in my particular case, given how tough it's been with my lack of social skills despite various advantages, i can't really see passing on my genes as a good thing. as for raising a child, while it's something i'd love to do, i'd be rather clueless on raising an NT child, as for an NT teenager, let's not go there. so i feel the only option that would be fair on anyone is adopting an aspie kid - i'd have some clue as to how to help (my parents, with the best intentions, made things worse). in practice, i'll never be allowed to adopt, oh well.

I've never been very interested in having kids. My parents were loving and encouraged my artistic and musical interests, which were different from theirs, but I think childhood would have been much easier if they'd recognized my lack of interest in other people, and then drilled a social obsession into me without being too abusive. But how could they? They have some traits, but were successful enough that they weren't too curious about them. They were also working a lot and minding my bipolar sister.

I wonder sometimes what it would be like, but I don't want a kid of mine to grow up with my problems.

I can't even babysit, I loose um. I'm not even afraid when they do run off, oh they'llll come back. The tiny tiny ones do baffle me..just sitting there and moving their legs