disowning society

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I disowned society because I no longer had a need to be around other people, and the social anxiety that I have, actually makes me very uncomfortable around others. Because of this, I don't really get lonely, and I am comfortable not seeing anybody for weeks at a time. When I am alone, is the only time when I am truly relaxed.

this is how i feel the majority of the time, and am happy being on my own....but the times when i do crave human contact are still hard. there are lots of times that i wish someone was there to talk to and share things with, but b/c i have so much trouble finding people that i can be comfortable around, i rarely ever find this anyway even on the rare occasions i do try....right now i have 3 people in my life (one of which is my counselor), and although i definitely still get lonely (my mom and my friend don't live in the same city as i do so i don't get to see them very often) i manage. it gets easier as you get older, i think because you just naturally get more comfortable with who you are as you learn about yourself....so, it's hard, but it's possible.....

Sounds very similar to my situation. I think that I've been alone for so long that I don't call it "lonliness" anymore.... I recognize it as "depression". I guess you could call it some form of denial. I will admit that after a number of days with zero human contact, I am thankful that a friend, or even mom, shows up for a while. My problem is....when I want to be alone, I really need to be alone(for days), and society has a hard time understanding this. People think you're blowing them off or avoiding them, when it really has nothing to do with them, personally.

Sometimes I need to be by myself for a day or two. If I don't feel like facing the world, if I'm too fearful, I'll just stay in my apartment. But sooner or later, cabin-fever forces me out of seclusion. Sooner or later, the need for human contact always wins. And that's perfectly okay.

In fact, it's natural. In the Garden of Eden, the first thing God called ungood was loneliness. He saw that Adam was lonely, so He made for him a human companion, someone Adam could relate to better than the animals.


It was John Donne who said, "No man is an island."

Last edited by slowmutant on 19 Jan 2009, 2:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I rarely get lonely anymore. And though I have no contact with anyone, I'm not a recluse. I go out a lot and have a wonderful time by myself. I do a lot of tours, and there are people in the tours, so I have to be around people anyway. And I see enough people at work.

Like the OP, I just got fed up with 4 decades of having the best intentions only to have people lash out at me, treat me like s**t. I deserve to be treated with respect and appreciation, so I prefer to stick to my own company only.

Oh and thank God for WP!

here, here!

Society can do without you, but can you do without society?

how do you avoid having to converse with people if you go out all the time? if you can answer this, you might have solved the equation.

when i have to go outside i always have my mp3 player and my earphones on, and i also avoid looking at people directly. i find this usually lets people know you want to be left alone.

To all those who would turn their back on society ...

What happens if you need a tooth pulled? Or if you develop kidney stones? Being the rugged individualist you are, would you be bold enough to try to pull your own tooth or extract your own kidney stones?

obviously we still go out to the store or to the doctors when we need to, we just don't talk to anyone we don't have to. silly question.

It is not people who stress me so much (though I am not popular) but the day to day tasks of living. What I dream of is a life of minimal responsibility. Society also frowns upon this.

I don't understand how people think they're disowning/abandoning/turning their back on society yet they surf the net. The internet is societys' new communication tool. By using it, you are embracing society.

I can't say I completely cut myself off, in this day and age with people everywhere it's pretty much impossible to get away from the entrapments of society. But my participation is minimal. As they say, "It's easier to hide in a crowd." I work full time, and other than saying "Hi" and "Bye" I only talk to my co-workers about work and I largely work alone. With my #4brother I go out to eat, out to the movie theater, out to an unused park to shoot hoops, out to buy groceries and other necessities and other odds and ends, and occasionally go to see my mom, sister, and nieces. Otherwise I'm at home, inside.

Living in a city of more than 700k people I rarely see the same people when I go places, and I like it like that. I don't have to worry much about people getting to know me or wanting to, I'm not going to become the town weirdo everyone talks about as I'm just another face they'll never see again.

I rarely feel lonely and when I do, it doesn't last long. It does seem that as I've gotten older the lonely periods have gotten smaller and smaller. It was a much larger problem for a while after puberty, from 14 - 17.

If you think you'd be happier with a bit more courage to face any possible confrontation so that you can do at least some of what you want to do in life, go the way your psychologist wants, give it a chance and when it gets hard don't give up. Of course if it's too hard and you're not gaining any ground, go the more comfortable route.

Using a byproduct of society does not equal embracing society. They're, or we're, not socializing with our neighbors, not volunteering in our communities, not investing in society's future. Society uses us and we use society, but in the end society would lose badly if everyone were like us.

Why would you have to converse with people? If I'm buying a service from someone, I keep to the transaction itself and that's it... The only forced socializing I have is at work.