Website against Asperger's Syndrome: HeartlessAspergers.com

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the heartlessaspergers(HLA) website is written to make women avoid and reject men with aspergers.(what about the NT men in relation to AS girls??)

Some men with aspergers are on the level the author of HLA describe... but i think it is wrong to say that everybody are on that level.

My ex who claimed to have AS was like that and I can remember him asking me "Would you rather have people blame everything on your autism than seeing you as an as*hole?" Looking back I didn't read between the lines and I should have taken offense to that question because he was basically saying that having autism makes you an as*hole so it's so much better to be autistic than to be an as*hole. He was also saying that if you are an as*hole, having autism is so much better because then you have an excuse for your behavior and it's not your fault and everyone has to put up with it and it's the victim's fault so there is victim blaming right there. Also he was implying I was an as*hole and the autism diagnoses just exempts you from it. It's basically using autism as an excuse for poor behavior.

You guys are missing the big picture: There is something that neurotypicals need that autistic people are unable to provide. And for some reason they resent us for it. Passing doesn't work, so I go for honesty as previously my attempts to pass resulted in divorce. My ex is a great guy and I often miss him, but I could not meet his needs and he is better off without me.

I can think of quite a great many things I like spending on more than hosting & domains. Things like food, soap, car, weed, bikes, skis, music, beer & passports. For that matter I'd rather go broke on a date than stay in.

Andro, you keep using these absolute terms (precluded, unable) about autistics. An individual autistic person may be unable to provide enough displays of affection for the needs of a particular NT person. That does not mean that autistics, as a group and by definition, are unable to provide the same for any NT. You said before that even with all the practice in the world, I'll never be not autistic. This is true. But what is not true is any claim that because X will be harder for me, that I'm unable to do X. If I can't do it the way most people do it, I'm still not "precluded" from doing it. If I can't do it based on gut feelings and intuition, I'll do it by observing, analysing and reasoning. And it'll be just as genuine.

I think you misunderstand. The Cassandra BS is alleging that being in a relationship with an aspie causes the NT to develop a disorder, not that the NT isn't believed when alleging their partner has a disorder.

I disagree with you. It will never be genuine. I am speaking in absolute terms deliberately because I think there is something fundamental to autism that makes us not get along well with neurotypicals. I really think that whatever this "genuine" thing is, it is very important to them.
I am not, however, saying that this is an insurmountable obstacle to a successful life. We just need to be mindful of it in our dealings with others.

Oh good, I didn't misunderstand then. You're just wrong.

I doubt I'm the first to say it but I'm gonna be one the "I'm not gonna hate" side, because all I know is that hate never got anyone anywhere. I feel bad for anyone who is consumed with rage because everyone else isn't like they are.

I refuse to be angry about it even though when first discovering the site I was quite disgusted. I'm in a place in my life where I'm making the choice to reevaluate everything about me, my wrongs and my rights, everything. So I don't blame other people being upset about the way most people with autism are. I know I've been a lot to handle all my life BUT I also know that I am a good person! That is what matters to me the most, how I feel about my self. I'm not letting others people opinion about that corrupt that.

I hope other people can join me in this and decide that we won't let the small percentage of people that feel this way dictate our own feelings regarding other people, or to fuel the hatred aimed our way.

There are all kinds of people out there, and a lot of them will make other people feel uncomfortable and it's not because they're bad people, they're just different. I don't think it needs to be this way though and I really think we can all learn to love one another even if that person is the most entertaining, funny, or what ever.

I really think we are here for a reason. Actually I feel** like we are! It's this deep feeling in my gut, this desire to change the world for the better, and I've had it for as long as I can remember.

We have to endure a lot more pain than most people will ever realize. I think that pain is what makes us what we are and I think, that pain, even though it's (primarily) all mental gives us a lot of strength as well. We just need to start " coming out of the closet" so to speak. This whole thing is way harder than it has to be for us because it's the silent diagnosis.

So many of us spend so much of our time trying to fit in or to act "normal", well I think its time society redefines "normal". We can do this but we gotta speak up. I'm on a personal mission to help others like me by getting my name and my story out there so others can relate and hopefully do the same.

Love ya guys!

My expressions of affection are often (not always) not adequate and taken to be contempt or dismissal, another words anything but genuine but often they are genuine. Intent and presentation of that intent are often not the same things.

I think this is true for any disorder. If you are with someone who has a personality disorder or a mood disorder or a psychotic disorder, you could get PTSD yourself or if you are with a PTSD person, you can get a disorder and it's called depression or anxiety or PTSD. So I think it's BS that partners of aspies need a separate label.

This frustrates me too. I'm always misinterpreted.

Yes, it's hilarious that she can with a straight face make a claim like this:



Abundance of support for people with AS? Really? Where? In which country? As for "partners and their families" being neglected, she should just hop on over to a rather well-known site called 'Autism Speaks', because that's all they ever talk about, and they have the same self-pitying, victim mentality that she has.

Exactly, but the reason why it was given a separate label didn't come from nowhere. Partially it is autism is newly recognized relative to other disorders, and resentment has built up because there are people out there who deny there is any problem. Maybe you aren't, maybe even most members of this site aren't, but there are people out there who are.

Interstingly, Anthony Hopkins has diagnosed ASD.

the heartlessaspergers(HLA) website is written to make women avoid and reject men with aspergers. And to make women feel fear and disgust toward men with aspergers.(what about the neurotypical men in relation to girls/women with aspergers??)

Some men with aspergers are on the level the author of HLA describe... but i think it is wrong to say that everybody are on that level.

http://karlamclaren.com/autism-empathy- ... ay-people/