How Can Anyone "Be Proud" of being autistic?

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yeah, not well defined. the fact that nobody can really see how another person mind functions is problematic. we can only ever deduce, or guess from our own perspective. Even moreso if youve been diagnosed with any of the different brands of "autism", which according to nt's supposedly endows us with even greater "mind blindness" than the typically unreflective nt's i have personally encountered.

by being diagnosed, you have essentially been told by society that you have a blind-spot, are mentally impaired or deficient in some way and so the idea of being "proud" in such a situation i find some what kinda odd, a defense mechanism maybe?. the fact of the matter is ;in effect, is you've been ostracized from the social order as some kind of subnormal human being.

no matter how well adjusted you think you are, or how "high functioning", "almost normal" the rest of the non autistic world still thinks that you are a mental deficient, aka "disabled" and acts accordingly.

Yes you are correct there is an element of self defense or denial in pride of being autistic.

There is a balance between self hate and total denial that one has a real disability no matter how much a person pretends otherwise.

Autism is diagnosed as deficits not positives that exist among NTs like attention to detail.

The problem is when some autistic people are unable to separate themselves from their condition.

They want to be the physical embodiment of autism which after all is a disability which can be a severe life destroying disorder.

The 99 % of the world wants to eliminate it as they see a severely disabled person who cannot live independently, work or speak so wonder how any sane person would think otherwise.

The advocate then gets stressed at these people working themselves into a frenzy on Twitter etc.. twisting science to defend the indefensible because to attack autism is to attack them.

This is unsustainable in the long term as a crushing reality and Realisation eventually catches up with such people.

https://www.quora.com/What-is-neurotypical-privilege

This concept of an "Autism friendly world" is what strikes me as naive. What concrete laws or actions would "neurodiverse aspies" pass to get people to stop engaging in small talk?

Certainly, some behaviors (like stimming) may be de-stigmatized (and I say 'may' very suspiciously) but the idea that you can build a whole world where no one is left out due to social or occupational deficits strikes me as incredibly grandiose.

I don't think NTs are really any more astute at theory of mind than functional autistic people. However there is a few things we (NTs) do to read the situation when talking to somebody.
1. We observe first. So (hypothetically) if somebody appears shy/sad then I ask myself "do I need to talk to this person?" If the answer is no then I leave them alone. If the answer is "yes" then why do I need to engage this person (e.g. is it for work purposes, client services or because I want to be friends? etc ). Let's say its to be friends.

2. So how do I engage with shy/sad person? I notice the purpose/necessity of small-talk among NTs has been mentioned in this thread. So for me small talk allows me to gauge stepwise why this person is shy/sad (my foray into theory of mind). It also creates an atmosphere thats convivial and conductive for chit/chat. The level of resistance by the sad/shy person might be a factor to back away or pursue further small talk leading to understanding and/or friendship.

They are extremely talented!

So, as a self-proclaimed NT, have you ever had shy/sad people try to engage with you? How do you treat them? Have you ever felt sorry for any of them? Have you ever noticed how your fellow NTs abuse them? Did you ever stand up for them out of principle? Or are your actions toward the shy/sad person also highly dependent on how you think other people (NTs) will judge you? If you're really NT, I'm betting the latter is a big factor that you're trying to tip-toe around, or perhaps never really thought about (although you naturally factor it in).

I don't see many "shy/sad" persons. Everybody seems either lost in thought, Busy, angry, exuberant, tired, or some other descriptor.

(I dont think its all that right to speak for millions fo people but...nevertheless) Here is a few things we (Aspies..ugh hate that word) do to read the situation when talking to somebody.

1. observe face and body language (yes some of us can do that). 2a. if this is uninteresting, see how to avoid this person, get out of this,. or 2b. get to the point, or matter of factly, say what you got to say, with little regard for reading their emotions or trying to pretend you know how they're feeling at that moment. their mind is their business, i'm not here to 'theorize' about there mind, unless i feel they're lying to me, and i'm deliberately looking for cues of deception.
3. disengage, disengage, disengage. we are "object based" , rather than "people based " mentalities, after all.

For the first several months after finding out about my diagnosis, my autism was a point of self-hatred. I thought that basically all my strong spots were weakened because I was autistic, and didn’t have natural social instincts etc. . At the same time, based on what I had read I thought that I was almost doomed to become an incel on account of my neurological condition, which made me hate it even more. Later though, as I discovered more autistic people and autistic communities online, I began to feel more of a sense of pride. It definitely helped to know that there were more people out there with my exact strengths and struggles, even if we are a “rare breed” in comparison to NTs.

Since I have high-functioning Asperger’s, it’s say it’s kind of up to debate on how much my autism is responsible for who I am. I feel if I had been more neurotypical, I’d probably be recognizeable as the same person... but maybe less interesting. I feel like my autism is certainly responsible for my great attention to detail, and quite possibly my greater empathy (despite the stereotype), intelligence, reading, and writing skills. So I would say I am proud to be autistic (at least generally speaking) despite the caveats like difficulty in social interactions.

We certainly don't need a law prohibiting small talk! We just need people (especially employers of people in non-sales jobs) to be more accepting of the fact that not everyone likes engaging in small talk or is capable of multi-person chit chat.

An autistic-friendly world would be a world in which:

1) People are generally more accepting of neurological differences of various kinds, e.g. sensory differences, rather than assuming that everyone perceivds (or "should" perceive) the world in exactly the same way.

2) People more often and more openly ask each other about their needs and preferences, rather than making ASSumptions about what the other person needs/wants. In other words, a stronger ethic of explicit consent.

3) It is understood and accepted that not everyone has the same body language. It is understood and accepted that not everyone is comfortable with eye contact, for example.

4) People in general are more willing to be assertive, rather than expecting the other person to pick up on subtle hints, and are also more willing to ask for clarification if the other person says something that doesn't seem to make sense.

Items #2 and 4 above would also improve communication among NT's (who do get into misunderstandings with each other, too, though not as often as with autistic people) and thus would be a general cultural improvement as well as making things better for us.


We can't make the world perfect, but improvements are certainly possible.

This is exactly why I wouldn't want my children to be on the spectrum.