OCD, Pure-O, and Social Skills

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I'm really thinking I have Pure-O OCD, and I've always had a bit of trouble with social anxiety.

I'm wondering what the connection is, if there is one--and what experience others have had with this.

One of my more recent realizations is that I tend to obsess over my ability to do a good job at work. I imagine that it's annoying to a supervisor or other employees to be questioned about whether or not I'm doing the right thing, the perfect way to do things etc.

I also CONSTANTLY have to stop myself from re-sending e-mails to people, apologizing for grammatical errors in previous e-mails, that I somehow managed to notice after ruminating over the e-mails for long periods of time (often without looking at the e-mail during rumination).

Or--sometimes I go over social situations in my head for hours, and then feel the need to explain or apologize for anything ambiguous--even though I think most people would just let it go. I hold onto these fears for weeks. Like, just recently I apologized to someone for making a joke last week, in which I wasn't sure if they understood or not, but they did laugh...I feel like I might be annoying that person and I don't want to.

I'm kind of looking for connections between socializing and OCD, beyond just how compulsions could get in the way--since I don't really have a lot of physical compulsions--but of course, I would like to hear anyone's examples.

How do you find a balance between not annoying people and still being true to your feelings of needing to perfect one's behavior/interactions? I don't want to be annoying, but I don't want to be completely fake either.

Also--I read an article about how people with OCD have brains that resemble non-OCD people's brains while in love. If an OCD brain resembles an "in love" brain (during the earlier stages of infatuation), then what is an OCD person like when they are infatuated with someone--or in feeling in love?

I haven't given this the proper attention but the analysing of one's social interactions could be AS or OCD, generally there is an associated desire for some reassurance with ocd too. Eg that you didn't offend someone for example. Or that you're doing things right etc. this reassurancegenerally reduces anxiety in the short term but you are learning that behaviour pattern as correct each time you do.

Id say don't worry about annoying people etc first try to identify your own cognitive distortions. Assuming they are there. Don't mean to judge you there.

Ocd is an anxiety disorder so if you're experiencing a more general social anxiety and already have "ammunition" for obsessive thoughts then I imagine it would follow that these thoughts may manifest as ocd. Dunno if that all makes sense. hope it might help in some small way at least. I might be able to add more and personal experience but not right now as i'm kinda struggling already at the thought of it to not recall various intrusive and obsessive thoughts.. Lol almost ironic
Anyways, i'm sure there are plenty of others that could share some insight, hope you find what you seek.

Ocd is kinda almost all cognitive distortions, as far as I understand it. there was a thread about CBTthat listed cognitive distortions, but it should be on wikipedia too.


I guess the apologising and acting "lowly" as you put it, could be ocd or self esteem or both. I think it depends somewhat on the thought processes involved but I wouldn't know the precise difference.. also I should think both difficulties would serve to reinforce the other to a certain extent.
I'm probably missing loads out but am quite scatter-brained atm.
if you'd permit me a small judgment (believe me, i'm not looking down on anyone from way down here.. And this completely amateur too, just my thoughts) I think from the way you describe things there's definitely a good chance of ocd being involved.. Some of the checking for errors is seemingly vcommon in aspies generally and some of the things could be social anxiety alone too.

Hmm so a personal example. one of my symptoms is or was a pretty classic germophobia/mysophobia.. Complete with compulsive hand washing etc the compulsive behaviours were quite obvious but something I also did was worry that I had accidentally touched something if ever I didn't concentrate fully on my hands.. For a while I was frequently asking people to confirm that I didn't and thus reassure me. (considered most things contaminated, so if I did touch them i'd have to wash hands again) ignoring all the hand washing this is kinda what I meant.

You're quite welcome just wish I could explain better but I better not obsess over it eh

I've learned that a lot of what we ourselves consider to be negative behavior actually comes across to others as not nearly as bad as we think. Other people are so concerned with themselves the last thing they want to do is judge someone else's behavior.

Last edited by JessicaAnne on 24 Jul 2012, 2:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

OCD is more or less a form of anxiety.
You are obsessive because you think you are doing something wrong/something bad is happening etc. if you don't controll, don't think it through etc.

I have the same thing:
After a traumatic situation in the psychiatry nearly two years ago I was OPSESSED with the thought to do everything right with psychiatrists. I was sending them emails to tell them how I ment the things I toled them or asking how they ment it!? It was a form to controll my anxiety. Eventhough it was totally anoying for me and the psychiatrists, but I was scared and it was a form to controll the situation for me.
OCD has a lot to do with controlling and being unsecure and the felling that if I controll everything it is going to be better.

It took me a while that my anxiety-OCD-symptoms got better. I still have them, but for me I figured out, the mainproblem isn'T even the OCD-part, but the anxiety. Because of the anxiety I act that way.
The problem with OCD is that you think to solve your OCD you have to obessivly controll it.
BIG mistake!

Trust is very important. Trust in the situation. Trust that everything is going to be okay.
Well that's very difficult and very often it needs a therapist to it.

Those are really good points. I never thought of myself as controlling before--but after i examined some of my issues, I kept coming to the conclusion that I really just wanted to control a situation or avoid it.

Like, I've always disliked making future goals for myself--and it's because I can't control what happens in the future. I worry about the future all the time, and I even prevent myself from doing things I know might benefit me or bring me happiness, because the process they require cannot be absolutely controlled. Finally, I started getting better at moving forward on the things I want to do, when I realized that no one can control the future anyway--and there can always be good surprises and surprises i don't like.

I guess the intrusive thoughts are about control too--I just feel like I shouldn't have to think those things--and it's out of my control. But part of letting them go seems to be accepting that humans are just weird, and we do occasionally think odd things...and it's kind of like eating and going to the bathroom--you have to do it to live.

Maybe I'll look at how to apply this to other areas of my life. Even my crush, which I was so afraid of at first, has gotten much better because I accepted that it's not absolutely under my control--therefore I cannot be blamed for my feelings.

Thanks for your reply!

That's a very good point! Sometimes I practically feel like people can read my thoughts--when the reality is like you said.