Can someone explain non binary to me?

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The "gender binary" is female and male, and people who are nonbinary either identify as something else than male/female, feel as if they have an identity that isn't particularly discernable as male or female, or feel as if they don't really have a gender. They can be attracted to anyone of any gender or sex, just like cis and binary trans people.

The "gender binary" is female and male, and people who are nonbinary either identify as something else than male/female, feel as if they have an identity that isn't particularly discernable as male or female, or feel as if they don't really have a gender. They can be attracted to anyone of any gender or sex, just like cis and binary trans people.

Which of the three do you identify as?

You're thinking like it's one of three doors.
Think of it more like it's on a spectrum.

I have a preference towards identifying as "male", but still don't really feel like I can fully discern my identity as either "male" or "female", so that's why I've decided to mark my gender as "nonbinary".

You're thinking like it's one of three doors.
Think of it more like it's on a spectrum.

Ok...so what does it mean to you? How do you identify on this spectrum?

I don't think I get it. Do non binaries identify as neither male or female? Is this like androgyny?

Who are they attracted to and or have relationships with?

Trans people I get. They are born one way and have medical procedures to become the other. Usually men becoming women but sometimes the other way around.

Bi people I get, and I don't see it as necessarily the lifestyle thing that being gay or trans is. Most of the bi people I know are sexually attracted to both but have relationships only with the opposite sex. This is especially true of bi men.

Those that are attracted equally to everyone are pansexual, and this is much less common.

Asexuals simply have no sexual interest.

Ok...so what does it mean to you? How do you identify on this spectrum?

I'm going to pick this apart bit by bit.



It depends on the person. Some might say that no, they don't feel male or female, others might have more of a pull to one than the other, and others might find themselves alternating how they feel, male/male-ish sometimes, female/female-ish other times. Some might liken it to androgyny, others might feel that would be an inaccurate thing to say. There is no one way to be under this particular umbrella term. You meet one non binary person, you met one non binary person. The one thing we have in common is that we don't fit neatly into some male/female binary. I wonder sometimes if that is why some people struggle to understand non binary...because it isn't one neat, clear cut thing.

For myself, I don't feel male or female. I never have. Androgyny doesn't seem a good fit for me because I don't care about presenting as neither and to me androgyny is more of an outwards expression...but that's just me. I knew I wasn't the same on the inside as the outside, but I wasn't trans either. I have no dysphoria and I don't want to be the opposite of my assigned birth gender. I also don't care how people see me. If you see me as a he, call me he. If you see me as a she, call me she. If you see me as neither, call me they (I don't like 'it' though...makes me feel like I'm a table or something).

For me non binary works because I'm not a cis person, and I'm not suffering because my body doesn't match who I really am. I don't care about it beyond understanding myself as a person. I was glad when the term non binary showed up because I finally had something that fit with how I felt. It was nice to know I wasn't alone in this.



Again, depends on the person. It's the same as with anyone else, some might be attracted to one gender only, some might not care about gender, you know, whatever.



You don't have to have medical procedures to be trans. A lot of people never have that for whatever reason...I've known some very trans folk who couldn't afford these things and their insurance considered it unnecessary, so yeah. It sucks.

And you think so? I never looked at statistics, but I've happened to know more ftm trans folk that mtf. But that's just me. Like I said, I never looked into that.



From my own life experience (to be taken with a grain of salt) and maybe because of my age, a lot of gay people wouldn't take me seriously as a partner if I were to tell them I was bi (technically I am pan, but that's a new word...I'm old. ) thinking I was either experimenting or trying to be with them for some insincere reason before meandering back into the hetero world after I had my fun. It used to piss me off when that happened. Not everyone was a jerk about it, but some were.

I've also noticed there is a weird thing about bisexual men... there is the social stigma. It's way more acceptable for women to be bi than it is for men. It's messed up. I wonder how many of them there are, but are in hiding due to lack of acceptance and understanding. I hope if this hasn't been changing over the last few years, that it starts to.

Anyway, you don't have to have a preference if you're bi. Some do, but a lot don't. Generally if you're bi, you get assumed to be straight or gay based on who you are involved with. It gets annoying.



Pansexual is a bit more complicated than that. Some might identify with being pan and totally agree with you. Others, like myself, would say that pan is more inclusive. Bi assumes that male female binary and pan does not. I learned about the term from an old friend of mine who made the comment that me calling myself bi was excluding a large group of people I would actually date... like him (a trans guy) or myself (non binary). That's why I dropped the bi and went with pan.



I dunno about that one. I don't know much about asexuality though. I was under the impression it was a bit of a spectrum as well...that some might never want sex, while others might only once a year or something so infrequently to the oversexed masses, that asexuality seems fitting and appropriate to them.

Meh. I talked a lot. I'll shut up now.

So if someone tells you they are non binary, the only thing that really tells you is they do not identify as male or female in the traditional sense. The precise meaning depends on the person and can be third gender (neither male or female), gender fluid( can be one or the other depending on situation, mood, etc), mix of both, or no gender.