What qualities do Aspie men consider important in a partner?

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The guy I'm with seems to be testing me at every turn. What is he hoping to accomplish?
What does he want from me? ...or more important, what doesn't he want?

aspie men please respond

I don't think we 'test'. As a matter of fact, I think we tend to be a bit over-tolerant.

I don't know. Why don't you ask him?


I don't know. Ask him!


ASK HIM! !!

What do you think, we're all *&^%$#@ing mind readers?! !

Fnord, seriously, can't you try and be nice?

No, this is definitely not the case. He is extremely intolerant and admits to being demanding and rarely giving in. I am the one that is over-tolerant

I think you're both overgeneralizing AS. I've met those with AS on both extremes. Hell, I probably hit both extremes based on the time of day.

Eh I don't know, I'm over tolerant myself. However kindness is the most important characteristic for me, any indication that you are not kind and I quickly lose all attraction.

But yeah I'd just ask I guess, especially since he admits to being intolerant and demanding (which is no good if you ask me).

He gets very upset when I ask questions and may disconnect. I was trying to avoid that by asking others.

Last edited by sharlyn on 12 Feb 2009, 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fnord, my sentiments exactly. Except for one variance - it's not that we're mind readers.. it's that we're all the same so we should know! Duh, get it right.

Last edited by mitharatowen on 12 Feb 2009, 12:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

some of the things that i value strongly are honesty, communication and respect.

keep in mind that respect is subjective. without understanding a person's idea of respect, it would be hard to know how to treat them accordingly. for example, in my opinion, being honest is respectful and also it's productive to the relationship. this then is where communication comes in.

these are some basic things. it could be more effective and beneficial to focus in on the makings of a good relationship than attempting to understand him based on the opinions of strangers.

without his cooperation, there will be no way to make it work. this is something that he will have to realize. have you looked into couples therapy at all?

I prefer to find a solution.

Besides, I used "*&^%$#@" instead of any actual profanity - that should be nice enough.

just try to keep in mind that even though what you are trying to do is good, it's still like trying to ask a group of left-handed people what flavor ice cream they prefer.

Last edited by Shayne on 12 Feb 2009, 12:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It was still uncalled-for.

I often test for true acceptance of my aspieness and all its quirks, so I lay it on thick sometimes. I think I'm hyper-sensitive to people being too nice to me as I think they're just being polite.

So, if your guy is anything like me, he's probably experienced a lot of rejection & wants to make sure you're not like the rest. This isn't something he's likely to openly admit to by the way.

Thanks deadeyexx and shayne. Your responses have helped the most

You're the man