#yesallwomen

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^Some people can't take rejection as well as others.

Taking it out on the entire opposite sex isn't going to help you and it isn't going to end well for anyone. Can't you see that by attacking women in general you are just making your own problems worse?

^I understand that going postal on here isn't really productive. I try to work on my issues, and I'm of the humble opinion they don't define me as a member of this site.

Hang on. I know that you are going through a terrible time and because of that are confused as to what you can or cannot say. I see that you keep trying to :fix things' and don't know how. [pain can do that] I have already pm'ed you. I suspect that others who care about you have as well. Please, I want to help you. I also have a 20 year old son [and grandson] who is going through difficult times. I'm not sure what that has to do with anything, but I care.

I'm glad you feel that way and I sincerely hope you can resolve your issues. If you keep going postal with everyone in real life (including blaming/attacking innocent people), then you will be in for a very confrontational and unhappy life.

I guess all this madness started shortly after Elliot Rodger earned his fifteen minutes of infamy. The guy was a psychopathic dirtbag, but his motivation (his virginity and lack of a girlfriend) was the emotional equivalent of a steel-toed kick in the balls. I've had a string of failed relationships or "might-have-beens", as I call them. They were all girls that had baggage, attitude problems, and so on. One member here insinuated that I deserved those kind of girls because of my outlook.

@TallyMan: I agree.

by not sleeping with elliot roger, no woman was "kicking him in the balls". they cannot be personally faulted for not finding him attractive or not wanting to be with him for whatever reason they have. NO ONE IS OWED SEX. NO ONE IS ENTITLED TO LOVE FROM WOMEN JUST FOR ASKING FOR IT. we have every right to say no to any man we please, and if a man takes that personally and gets all resentful and hateful of ALL WOMEN because the handful he has known have rejected him, that is HIS OWN FAULT AND NOT THE FAULT OF THE WOMEN WHO CHOSE NOT TO SLEEP WITH HIM, OR ANY OTHER WOMEN.

it's really quite simple.

I think the "psychopathic dirtbag" part flew right over your head.

I was not condoning or supporting his behavior. I was saying that I have been rejected and spat on like he was, but I didn't go on a shooting spree like he did. In Elliot's case, I think the opposite sex had a good reason for staying away from him. Psychopaths aren't really the charming Magnificent Bastard's that they are portrayed as in movies and television. In fact, they're huge jerks who drive people away from them with their antisocial behavior, which was likely what happened with Elliot. He brought it on himself, yes. Did I bring it on myself because of my failed relationships? Hell, one of them was stalking and harassing me on Facebook, calling me her pookiebear. I kid you not.

GiftorCurse; Please. You have written repeatedly about your struggle not to take your own life. I suspect that right now what you are doing is trying to "fix things" so that those feelings do not overtake you today. I am so worried about you. I think you are an awesome young man. I have a 20 year old son who is struggling right now as well. I have older kids who also had difficulties finding romance at your age but no longer do. Here you are hurting so badly,are o vulnerable, and said some innapropriate and dumb things [why do suicidal people do that] and were compared to a mass murderer. [strong insinuations] I am so sorry.

I would love it if we could figure out a way to get you out here for a week or two. You could get to know my youngest son, and my older kids could possibly help you see that there can be a good life after the early twenties. Or maybe, at the least, we could find a way to get you and some of my other kids pming each other over WP [have to talk them into joining first] You can pm me any time.

Love,

vicky

Yes, this.

Most of us here have had unhappy romances and trouble finding partners. It's not strictly an ASD problem, either, it's a human problem. But if you go around saying horrible things about women in general, or making misogynistic remarks, then it's not like it's walled off in this space of okayness because otherwise you're a nice fellow. People don't get, say, violence-and-abuse credits for otherwise being decent sorts.

Vicky, I doubt very much that Giftorcurse was compared to Elliot Rodger, though his speech may have been compared to Rodgers'. It's important to make that comparison ("excuse me, you're talking like a woman-hating mass murderer, do you really think that's a brilliant thing to do and could it possibly indicate some problems, also that kind of talk doesn't belong here (or anywhere, really)". It doesn't mean that Giftorcurse is about to go out shooting people.

Did you report her?

Giftorcurse: The talk was going on long before the ER shootings. We were already talking about the high levels of misogyny on WP and how ugly and definitely non-supportive it made things for many people here - men and women. The shootings were just a very vivid demonstration of where, in the extreme, that kind of talk leads, and it's catalyzed a lot of conversations about misogyny all over the Americas and Europe.

The word misogynist even gets thrown around too much. I've seen a lot of guys getting labeled as misogynists for complaining about a group of women he had contacts with, as if he hates all women in general.

Well, what kind of complaining was it? You can complain about a single woman in a totally misogynist way, too, happens all the time.

Sometimes when people are totally deaf to misogyny they'll get angry and start railing about how you can't say anything negative about a woman or you're a misogynist. But that isn't true. If the things you're saying about that woman are vicious and nasty and based on the fact that she's a woman, or treat her as though her only value is as a sexual object, or reveal an expectation that she owes you sexual favors or particular treatment because she's a woman, than yes, that's misogynist. If you're complaining that she robbed someone or flaked at an important event or kicked your little brother or did something that would be bad for any person to do, male or female, then no, that's not misogynist.

If you're heartbroken because you thought you'd be with her forever and then one day she lied about where she was going and ran off with someone else, that's not misogyny -- though if you start talking about how she was supposed to stay with you because you bought her things and she owed you this or that, as though you owned her, yes, that's misogyny. Or if it turns out that she ran away because you were abusing her but you didn't think it should be that big a deal. But if she just plain done you wrong? Then no, saying so isn't misogyny.

What 'madness'?

IIRC, starvingartist and a number of other members got understandably fed up with the sexism on this board, which persisted in a way that most any other hateful prejudice simply couldn't - racism, ablism, homophobia. Alex himself had decreed sexists should be left to look like 'fools', where if the speech was over any other group, moderator action would be taken. Some people wanted the 'leave them to look like fools' instruction changed so sexism was treated in line with racism, homophobia, ablism etc. This talk/campaign/action was going on a while before Rodger's killings.

Here as in the larger world, Rodger's actions, as well as the cultures - of varous sizes - his ideas festered in, have brought the very real consquences and concrete meaning of this sort of thinking into focus. Too much of his thinking - I mean, the attitude to women - bore an uncanny resemblance to the way some people talk on here. I think this is an issue that needs addressing, and WP could become a place where it is addressed.

If Rodger had had a girlfriend, he likely would have killed her. As though he'd have been anything but a nightmare in a relationship.

Please women generalize about men all the time. "all men are dogs" "there are no good men left" "ugh the men in this city are boring" "nothing but a bunch of losers in this club"

Yet you don't see us getting so outraged about every comment women make like oversensitive p*****s.

Check out this article: http://www.salon.com/2014/05/30/amazon_ ... e_partner/

She essentially blames most of the men (brogrammers?) in Seattle for her dating woes. Can you imagine if such an article was written in reverse. You'd have feminists (among others) claiming that he was an entitled and delusional misogynist that lacks social skills.

Last edited by MR20 on 31 May 2014, 8:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.