Male disposability in life & dating

Post Reply New Topic

Doesn't matter.

I would like to drown in women for a while... I've always been jealous of men who can get one night stands so extremely easily.

It's a luxury reserved for 10% of all men.

I've had too many one-night stands. They are not satisfying, they are a hassle, they make me feel like a male slut, and my mouth usually doesn't feel quite right.

If I'm surrounded by 75 virgins or whatever, I would feel absolutely swamped....

Being successful at getting night stands is a strong indicative that you're charming or physically attractive to a lot of women; it's a strong indicative that the women like for who you are and not for what you have or how much you make.

Hence why it's psychologically satisfying for most men.

While relationships are not a guarantee for that, the man in a a relationship can never know if the woman have other more important motives than being with him.

For example my gf's sister (she *is* a gold digger and very opportunistic) mentioned something that bothered me and made me....a tad suspicious of my current relationship, I know my gf is not her sister but usually...sisters have similar values - hopefully I am wrong.

Do you know the original translation was raisins. It got lost through the years. Sorry.

The houris (/ˈhuriz/)[1] (from Persian: حوری‎‎) or ḥūr (plural ofḥaurāʾ or ḥūrīyah[note 1] Arabic: حورية‎‎) are beings in Islam, described in English translations as "full-breasted companions of equal age [or well-matched]",[2][3] "lovely eyed",[4] of "modest gaze",[5] virgins[6] of paradise, denoting humans and jinn who enter Jannah (paradise) after being recreated anew in the hereafter.[7] The word itself occurs four times in the Qur'an, always in the plural:

44:54 "Thus. And We will marry them to fair women with large, [beautiful] eyes",
52:20 "They will be reclining on thrones lined up, and We will marry them to fair women with large, [beautiful] eyes",
55:72 "Fair ones reserved in pavilions",
56:22 "And [for them are] fair women with large, [beautiful] eyes"
but they are also referred to in a few other passages in different terms.[8]

Wow, this is right on.

I hadn't really thought about why I felt that way, but this resonates.

It's the "I am willing to drop silky things even if you don't pay my bills".

No wonder. Intelligence and conversational skills are completely different things and seldom do they intersect.

I'll bite. Because I hear other girls say this often then when I ask for context it usually means game.

But sure are you talking about conversations like politics? Or are you saying you want a guy to keep a conversation exciting and fresh and not be boring and mundane like, "seen any good movies lately?"

You being married doesn't change anything. And nice personal attack assuming I'm bitter because I'm actually not..

I agree there are many ways people can appear attractive to one another, however my problem is with people assuming certain qualities matter as if they are actually a make or break in importance when in fact they are not.

I don't see how conversation skills would steer you out of fights on family gatherings but alright.

Actually I would love an example of how your skills steered a fight to be honest.

This is a response to those guys on here (such as sly279) who say its unfair that fat women don't struggle to find partners (eventually) but fat men do struggle greatly. We could also postulate that as to why skinny women are seen as "fit" yet not skinny men... et cetera. And those guys that think its unfair that jobless women are dateable but not jobless men, or even men that earn low wages. Also the dating experiments that prove it's FACT that average-looking women get comically greater volumes of messages and interest than average-looking men. Obese women get even more messages than healthy weight average men even. I could also throw in disability (including Aspergers, not that I think its a disability), and how we Aspie men are seen as considerably more 'worthless' than our female counterparts, even females with a more severe disability or social impairment. Then we have the media that promulgates male disposability only further,often with the tabloids distorting facts in cases. For example there is great focusing on men with Aspergers and autism, that we are 'criminal' etc, only further creating a sense of disposability among a group of men who are otherwise, law-abiding, likeable people who make terrific colleagues, friends, partners and fathers.

The sex roles that drove a man's and a woman's behavior for thousands of years had great impact on each sex. One of the impacts of the sex role on men was the attitude of disposability that developed over the years. By that I mean the tendency of people to be less likely to get emotionally close to men and to see them as expendable. Why would that be?

Imagine we are living long ago and the women were caring for the hearth and the children and making forays to gather while the men were more likely to go out and hunt or defend the tribe/watchmen. The relative danger of those two behaviors is not subtle. Going out to defend your tribe is decidedly more dangerous and the liklihood of the man returning home after was much smaller than the same liklhood for the woman performing her daily activities. When we dont' expect someone to return what impact does that have on our interest in making an emotional attachment to them? It diminishes. We are less likely to invest our emotional ergs into someone or something that we fear may not be with us. This was obviously not just around the issue of war or hunting, but in dating too. Men were expected to guard women from other men within their own troop. This was a dangerous activity and again, increased the liklihood that the 'lesser' man would be disappearing. The 'lesser man' or highly disposable man is ugly, or simply more unmanly looking: fatness/obesity, poor facial symmetry, short height, scrawny, reduced, weak-looking etc. This is why women love muscles, height and guys with strong facial bones (absorb blows better). They simply look like better warriors.

We tend to not invest in folks who we fear will not do a good job protecting and will not be returning. Yet another example is modern war time. Men were the ones who were expected to go to war and die protecting the village/community/country.

This diminished investment is not subtle but very few people are aware of their own tendency to do this. Let's try an exercise to evaluate your way of thinking. Has it ever bothered you that if you see f.e. an injured cyclist with a bloodied head? Are you are more likely to help out if its a woman? but you're not even aware that your doing this? What about modern warfare? it is only males expected to go and die in case of a national emergency? Does that bug you? Okay, now imagine that congress in all its wisdom has changed the law and decided that we need to draft only girls and women until an equal number of women and girls have died in combat to the numbers of men and boys who have died. Would that upset you? Why? Do you value women and girls more than boys and men? How about if we decided to draft only Black people? Maybe only Jews? Would either of those groups being sacrificed upset you? Would you protest for any of those to not be the only group drafted? Can you feel in your bones how upsetting that would be? If you answered yes to any of those questions, how was your response different from thinking it is okay to draft only men? If you had a different reaction then you are likely holding some of that tendency to consider men and older boys to be more disposable.

You can see this tendency in many places. Boys and men comprise almost 80% of suicides and yet we have no outcry or services specifically for this. Men and boys are over 90% of the workplace deaths in the Unted States but no one seems to notice. Over 97% if the deaths of U.S. servicemen in Iraq are men and boys and yet we hear no protest in support of men and boys or calls for equality. Men are the victims of domestic violence and workplace bullying in considerable numbers and yet we have no services directed towards their needs. All we need to do is open our eyes to see the extent that men and boys are seen as expendable. It is all around us. Ever heard of the wife telling the husband she will go investigate the loud noise that awoke them from a deep sleep?

The age old sex role for men has trickled down into a straight-jacket that harnesses men to be the expendable ones. Most people are simpy unconscious of this and treat men according to their own unconscious programming.

If someone messages me about what movies I’ve seen I’d probably ignore them. I tend to favour deeper conversations about life, human behaviour and scientific things.

Politics isn’t a bad topic. I can imagine people would reply to that.

I call bs on this. Unless you were fat while young you had ton a of guys approach you. Fat is the only major turn off to most men. So either you were fat or hung out with a non approachable crowd.