My partner ogles other women & it makes me feel unattractive

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Yeah, now that I think about it, even though he didn’t ogle other women, he would compare me to previous partners. I was the ugliest of them all although there was some variation when individual body parts were discussed.

Geez Louise.

It’s true that all of his previous partners were more attractive than me, but it’s not very kind to say so.

He said that no other man would want me on account of my ugliness as if I even cared at that point. Sometimes he would smell me when he got home from work to see if I’d been entertaining male guests in his absence though. He might be a werewolf. It’s hard to say.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I just want five minutes with that guy. Just five.

I imagine that this guy would put a lot of women off of dating for good, or at least for a long time, by the sounds of it.

A werewolf is probably more attractive than him.

He’s good at attracting women because he’s charismatic and easy to talk to. It’s hard to know what he’s like until it’s too late although I’m sure other people are better at spotting red flags than I was.

I would have given him something to smell ...

Thanks!

A little reminder of your avowed fidelity is okay.

Controlling every aspect of a person's life out of jealousy is simply wrong.

I'll admit I get jealous pretty easily, because those three idiots damaged my self-esteem and convinced me I wasn't desirable.

It's something I don't really voice to my current partner, because I know it's my trauma speaking and not the truth.

I was thinking about asking you about whether it affected your self-esteem but didn't want to say anything out of place... I am sorry you had to endure those three people.

It would seem you have had some bad luck indeed with these men in the past. For some reason I thought it was just one gay ex, but I didn't know there were three.

Thanks. Yes it totally affected my self-esteem. When I found out that the third one was also deceiving me I had a very serious breakdown and spiralled into some very dark thoughts. That breakdown led me to make impulsive choices which led to my violent trauma situation. That lasted another seven years with someone I wasn't even dating. I was terrorized and conditioned to believe I was worthless or that I deserved it, and it resulted in Stockholm Syndrome. I can guarantee none of that would have happened if I hadn't been sideswiped by Boyfriend 3, who was the love of my life at the time as well as a longtime best friend.

The bf and I agree that Dana Scully is gorgeous but that's about it.

Gillian Anderson (Dana Scully) is definitely gorgeous. It sounds like your boyfriend doesn't do any noticeable/significant ogling at other women, then?

That is a good thing, ofc!

I'm not attracted to Gillian Anderson. Too thin, gaunt features in general including prominent cheekbones which are supposed to be attractive but don't appeal to me. Also can't stand the RP accent. I'll admit I never watched the X Files. She might have looked and/or spoken differently back then.

My girlfriend is pansexual & Cass talks about attractive women more than me. We don't usually majorly disagree with each other about a woman being attractive though. She's complimented other women on their apperance &/or outfit a few times in a way that might could come across as flirting. I'm not bothered by that but Cass worries about it afterwards. There's been various times I almost complimeted other women but I always stop myself. Cass is a lot more social than me when around others but she doesn't always have a filter, whereas I'm a lot more quiet. I do notice attractive women when out but I look at them in a way where they don't notice. I don't usually look at people or various things by looking directly at them, instead I use my perifial vision more. Everytime I've been accused of staring I had barely noticed the person & I was daydraming & zoning out.