When you ask out girls they commonly claim they are busy.

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NewTime
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08 May 2024, 1:34 pm

nick007
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09 May 2024, 2:56 pm

My mistake was taking them at their word & assuming they really were busy & I would ask again suggesting other days & times. I actually did not realize it was a standard brush-off till after I joined this forum when I was in my mid 20s :wall: It's too bad cotillions were not a thing in my area when I was a kid.

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ProfessorJohn
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09 May 2024, 5:05 pm

nick007 wrote:

It's too bad cotillions were not a thing in my area when I was a kid.

Its too bad the internet wasn't a think when I was a kid. I could have learned so much more that would have saved me a lot of trouble and heartache.

blitzkrieg
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09 May 2024, 10:18 pm

Yeah, a claim that a woman is busy is often a way for a woman to politely decline a man's advancements in whatever he is proposing, even if it just her time that he is asking for.

A person - any person, will likely make time for you around their schedule if they want to spend time with the person requesting their time. If they don't, well then, you'll get the verbal equivalent of the busy dialling tone. :lol:

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10 May 2024, 3:24 am

"No I'm sorry I can't go out that night. I'm washing my hair.

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Minervx_2
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10 May 2024, 6:44 am

If they decline, I'd say something like "All good, whenever you're free let me know". Then stop contacting them, and just move on and talk to other girls.

Leave the ball in their court. If they reach out to you, cool. If not, keep moving on.

nick007
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10 May 2024, 8:12 am

Minervx_2 wrote:

Great advice :wtg:

I never thought that during the moment & looking back I wish I had for both our sakes. Maybe my mental processing is too slow, especially when I'm feeling anxious & hurt about being rejected. I'm probably lucky that I never got in trouble for harssement :wink:

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10 May 2024, 9:14 am

That's my sound when I am available.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC3uDuR ... ustsoundfx

Not very sexy.

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10 May 2024, 6:14 pm

Minervx_2 wrote:

If they decline, I'd say something like "All good, whenever you're free let me know". Then stop contacting them, and just move on and talk to other girls. Leave the ball in their court. If they reach out to you, cool. If not, keep moving on.

↑ THIS ↑

For the win!

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Tim_Tex
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11 May 2024, 4:21 pm

I've had people claim they were "busy", and it turned out they were actually busy.

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IsabellaLinton
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11 May 2024, 4:24 pm

In all honesty, what would you (men) prefer for women to say?

I've never said I was busy because I'm brutally honest.
If I'm not interested I say so.
I worry about hurting men's feelings but I can't lie.
It's not like I've ever been very busy anyway, apart from working business hours.

Seriously, what do you want women to say?

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Fnord
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12 May 2024, 2:38 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:

In all honesty, what would you (men) prefer for women to say?

• • •

Seriously, what do you want women to say?

How about, "Oh, yes! Yes! YES! I have dreamt of you every night! You are the only man who could ever satisfy me, and I want to do nothing but satisfy you! You can even stay at home while I work three jobs AND have your babies! I am yours, forever!

Or maybe something like, "Keep playing your video games while I fix you a sandwich and some beer . . ."

:lol:

That's sarcasm, folks! Please don't take it seriously.

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Tim_Tex
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12 May 2024, 2:40 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:

I'm guessing they are wanting a clearer, concrete answer.

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nick007
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12 May 2024, 3:51 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:

I need to be told something more direct like
"I'm sorry but I'm not interested in a relationship with you because blank" or at least "I'm sorry but I'm not wanting a relationship right now". Best rejection would be an offer to set me up with a friend :wink:

The truth can hurt & I'd feel rejected & embarrassed but I woulda accepted that & made a note not to ask them again instead of asking again a week or so later. Probably why I'm not compatible with NT women, they are conditioned to be indirect & I require more directness to understand anything. It sux how some guys handle rejection so badly.

BillyTree
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12 May 2024, 11:56 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:

In all honesty, what would you (men) prefer for women to say?

I would prefer a straight answer that the woman is not interested. Not too straight forward explaining in detail, like "I think you are bad looking, fat and with a bad persona." but no excuses about being busy. Maybe something along the line "No, thanks. I don't think this is going to work. You are not really my type."
If somebody told me she was busy a certain day I would probably suggest an other day to show interest and if she was busy that day too I would tell her: "That's too bad! If you do like to meet, why don't you call me when you are less busy?" and then I would leave it to her to make any further contact.

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