pushing people away that you love

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Thanks, I needed to hear that. I had this friend that kept chipping away at me telling me things like, "what so you think all your dreams will come true in a relationship?" I'd try and reason with her and say she was being overly dramatic and I tried to explain myself, much like what you wrote here, saying I'd rather take and chance and find out for myself, but then she went through a phase of sms messaging me every time one of her friends broke up with someone and saying, "see this is what happens. this is the real world." She ground me down.

Here's a surprise, I'm not friends with her anymore. She kept chipping away at me in all areas of life, so I snapped one day and told her I wasn't going to put up with it anymore. She's never spoken to me again.

But she really did knock my confidence. She genuinely scared me. I can imagine getting into a serious relatioship, having it end and then she'll be there wagging her finger saying, "I told you this would happen."

Wow, she was very antagonistic. This seems like she may have some kind of past experience or grudge in life that maybe she is having trouble letting go of.

I think it's good to approach things realistically, not getting caught up in fantasy about someone before you really understand who they are (teenagers do this especially, but anyone can, I've seen a late-twenties fall for it). They want desperately to believe that the next one is "the one" and can end up creating elaborate illusions to support that, even if things are going downhill.

However, to magnify every break-up and be a naysayer is unrealistic in itself. There will always be more breakups than 'everlasting' relationships, because people don't often find the right person on the first or second or even third try (though it's variable and some people have better luck than others). Pointing out that there are more breakups isn't illuminating some kind of flaw in relationships as a whole, it's just pointing out that people don't always understand themselves and what they want from someone else without some learning experience first.

not sure, but this could be a schizotypal personality

I do the same thing. I have been hurt so much I don't trust anyone except my husband. Luckily for me he can be very stubborn when I try to push him away and he knows it has nothing to do with him.

I had a long string of very abusive friendships and relationships. Guys dated me and called me names and said I was lucky they were even talking to me because no one else would ever want me. They would cheat on me and say I was still lucky to have them even a little bit.