The difference between creepiness and romantic persistence?

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TornadoEvil
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17 Nov 2014, 1:57 pm

I agree that the difference is whether the person is attracted to you. However, persistence can be a turn-off which which means they probably won't be attracted to you for long.

I also know that checking posting histories to see if they could be a certain person is definitely creepy.



0_equals_true
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17 Nov 2014, 3:00 pm

Creepiness is a reaction, but it is not necessarily that good indicator of a predictor.

Many people are creeped out with people that they simply aren't attracted to.

Having said that people who do make you feel uncomfortable go with your insticts.



rainbowbutterfly
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20 Nov 2014, 4:36 am

There have been some pretty good points in this post. It looks like I should stop following my friends and family's advice by giving people I don't sense chemistry with a chance, because it hasn't happened that way. Perhaps I should even not believe the "after the 3rd date" principle. Although there was 1 guy that I did get a good friendship with, I've realized that other people have a hard time realizing the possibility of friendship. I need to state 100% clearly that I just view this guy as a friend. Though, I don't think I should tell him out of the blue. I think I should let him know once he initiates a conversation on facebook. (We have been communicating/seeing each other on and off throughout the 2 years.) Too often, it seems that I somehow wind up feeling regretful on the way I handle the opposite sex.



rainbowbutterfly
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20 Nov 2014, 4:46 am

Uprising wrote:
Lol, this stuff is pretty simple:

Image

Image

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These memes don't come out of nowhere sadly enough.


I can't believe there's postings out there with that kind of wording! How crazy!
Oh yeah, a person I've asked before gave the opinion that the difference between being romantic and creepy has to do with your level of confidence.



Kezzstar
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20 Nov 2014, 6:08 am

It's all respect for boundaries. Like if I said "No" to a guy, and he respectfully backed off while maintaining a friendship that wasn't wholely and solely about getting me to fall in love with him, then that can be classed as romantic persistance. Whereas maintaining a friendship just to try and get me to love him and/or disrespecting my boundaries will get you classed as a creep for sure.

It's also an early-warning thing. As kids, we're told to trust our gut and if a situation feels dangerous, then get the hell out of there. If I get even the whiff of a bad gut feeling from anyone, male or female, I don't associate with them. Am I being judgemental and mean? Yup. But if it keeps me safe, then it's worth hurting the odd feeling or two (and usually those gut feelings are right anyway - got yelled at on a train by a guy who was making my gut feel bad, all because I happened to look up from my book when he was looking at me and accidently made eye contact - thankfully he got off the train about a minute later).


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The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Nov 2014, 8:31 am

Image

This is true in many cases (not in all cases tho - if the guy is really being creepy to the extreme).

I am a live proof of that creepiness-tolerance increases with looks.

After my looks-transformation (going from very skinny to toned), girls get giggly whenever I throw a sexual innuendo joke - girls before would creep me out for way mildest jokes.

Also, the creepiness of girls online increased significantly toward me (ie. vagina pics, unsolicited sex talk....).



sly279
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20 Nov 2014, 6:01 pm

Kezzstar wrote:
It's all respect for boundaries. Like if I said "No" to a guy, and he respectfully backed off while maintaining a friendship that wasn't wholely and solely about getting me to fall in love with him, then that can be classed as romantic persistance. Whereas maintaining a friendship just to try and get me to love him and/or disrespecting my boundaries will get you classed as a creep for sure.

It's also an early-warning thing. As kids, we're told to trust our gut and if a situation feels dangerous, then get the hell out of there. If I get even the whiff of a bad gut feeling from anyone, male or female, I don't associate with them. Am I being judgemental and mean? Yup. But if it keeps me safe, then it's worth hurting the odd feeling or two (and usually those gut feelings are right anyway - got yelled at on a train by a guy who was making my gut feel bad, all because I happened to look up from my book when he was looking at me and accidently made eye contact - thankfully he got off the train about a minute later).


seems more like unequated love rather then romantic persistence. as it would be him remaining friends with you with the false hope you'll one day love him back.

romantic persistence would be continueing to try to get the girl to love you. like sending flowers, doing special things. if hes being your friend and not doing anything other then friend stuff then its not romantic. o.O