How do I change who I'm attracted to?

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It's true, most aspies won't fare well with the hot preppy women. But if it makes you feel any better, a good number of neurotypical guys would fail as well. A lot of these stereotypical pretty girls only want the hottest or richest guys.

Are you into video games? You should try to find women who love video games or nerdy things. And believe me, there are women out there who are into that stuff but you just have to find them. Goofygoobers is a great example. There's probably girls like her at my school but finding them is the hard part.


This is for everyone when I say that it's easier to talk to people who share the same interests. And since us aspies arne't the greatest social skills experts especially when it comes to flirting and seduction, this especially holds true for us.

If you can find a decent looking girl who has the same interests as you, then you're set.

You can't choose who you're attracted to. Just like you can't choose what foods you like, what type of music you like etc.

Of course. But if what you are attracted to are really hot, outgoing cheerleaders and you're an average looking guy with iffy social skills, you are likely to be spending a lot of Friday nights alone on your sofa with your only your hand for company.

Hot cheerleaders isn't really even a specific type of person...I mean once out of highschool those girls aren't cheerleaders anymore many remain b*tchy high maintenance girls who think they're princesses and will only except suitors who will entertain this delusion....also they aren't very pretty without make-up much of the time. Years of caking on make-up in their teens and probably using harsh chemicals on their faces for acne and any little imperfections and continuing the habit doesn't make for very healthy skin. I mean there was one super preppy/popular girl in my highschool with the worst most obnoxious laugh in the world and once I saw her mother and thought 'wow that is how she's going to look in 20 years' her mom was just an older more saggy(that is really the only way I can put it) version of her daughter with the same disgusting attitude.

I guess my point is sometimes what someone thinks they are attracted to turns out not to be. I mean like in this thread the OP said they liked the 'outgoing' nature of the cheerleader types...they are probably attracted to outgoing girls, they probably would find their attraction to these outgoing preppy girls diminish once they see this outgoing behavior only extends to other preps/jocks/popular kids...If its the idea of an outgoing friendly girl that is attractive to them. And of course I am generalizing some not everyone on a cheerleading squad is a preppy popular kid with a bad attitude but many of them are based on my years of highschool.

Oh man, I know the feeling. I focus way too much on emo girls who are probably too pretty to be in my league, because I like the aesthetic but I've also found they're more accepting of the mental issues and generally tend to be more introverted, as well as having similar interests to myself. It's probably just a pipe dream though. :/

I believe people, most of the time, believe less of themselves than what is actually true when it comes to looks.

You might not think you're good-looking---but maybe the Emo girl might like your looks because it fits HER aesthetic. Her aesthetic might surprise you.

Yeah man, hopefully that's the case! The good part about just being myself (long hair and all) is that despite my desperation for a relationship, I don't want to just go for anyone, so I'll be able to attract the right people (if any). Who knows, maybe if I start doing concerts I'll be a Casanova (Yeah right!)

Doubt it.

My advice here is the same advice I gave you in this thread :

I require green/blue eyes and long brown/black hair (a womanly figure is a plus but not part of the requirement). Not a common mix :S.

Now I am thinking about it all the women I have ever been attracted to have this mix except my first girl friend who had blonde hair she dyed it black because she knew I liked it.....

I know where this stems from Natalie Imbruglia

Anyone match this criteria in my area feel free to PM lol.

Don't agree with the best of your post but this is one of the single best lines I have seen in this forum. Could not have said it better myself. One thing my crazy ex can say is that I DID treat her this way. No wonder I had such a difficult time dating back then and ended up dating a child!

Due to my family upbringing (my Grandpa used to be vice president of the company that made the commemorative apparel for the four major leagues and NCAA as well as the Kentucky Derby and a few Olympics which had him traveling to various sporting events in the U.S. and Canada, culminating with me going to the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver) I've come to gravitate towards athletic girls, does this mean I should try and direct my gaze less towards gymnasts like these:




and more swimmers like these?

There are athletic types who have difficulty attracting partners--tall girls for instance. Might you find some
basketball players attractive?

Yeah I can definitely work with that! The swimmers I used as picture examples are both 6ft or taller. I'm only 6'1" but I'm just as insecure about my long limbs as they probably are after always being told I take up too much space