Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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Seriously, leave the mail order brides alone and get therapy for yourself. You will only make a woman miserable with your current contemptuous and toxic attitudes about women if you bring one into your life and make her dependent on you. Get help, you need it.

More importantly, the mail-order bride thing isn't working out for him. There's another thread in different section about niceness. These mail-order brides are "nice" just the same way that trademark "nice guys" are nice: They want something from you but don't necessarily like you. Because these women are just using what they perceive a desperate man to escape poverty and desperate circumstances. That woman with a daughter sounded particularly desperate. Once these women obtain citizenship they're no longer dependent on the guy and can freely divorce at will and find someone they actually like.

As well they should; who would want to stay with someone who basically bought them? How could you ever respect a man who did that? I couldn't, and I say any woman who gets her freedom this way is perfectly within her rights to leave as soon as she can and try to find someone who actually values them as a human being rather than an indentured servant and dependent domestic sex slave. The fact that so often these women have no other choice, no other way to get themselves (and often their children) out of desperate poverty, makes it especially heinous that there are so many sad pathetic men willing to take advantage of that to get a warm body to stick their dick into because they can't find anyone willing to do it who isn't living in desperate poverty and searching for a way to freedom. It's so beyond gross and predatory and exploitative--it's inhuman.

What makes you so certain that they have absolutely NO other choice than to "sell" themselves as mail order brides? They know they are emotionally taking advantage of these men who are lonely and desperate. How would you honestly feel if some foreign man pretended to love you just so he could get citizenship and then dumped you for some PYT after he got what he wanted? And no, such men have not *bought* these women! These women are not the property of the men who fall for them. Mail-order bride services are really not the same as human trafficking(where women are kidnapped and held captive as sex slaves against their will). Women do it voluntarily and can leave the man at any time nor do they have any obligation to even meet him face to face. Both RG87 and the women he's been involved with are using each other and he really has no cause for whining if he continues to pursue these kinds of dysfunctional relationships which always lead to nowhere. Desperation still doesn't justify breaking someones heart.

Still, if you don't want to have your heart broken, you'd better not buy false love.

I agree with this assessment, including the comparison drawn between "nice guys" and the apparent "niceness" of mail order brides. I've personally met one woman (a Filipina) who married and then later split with a US citizen, although her life after the split was far from easy. She worked a graveyard shift in a sweatshop, while her two young children slept in a camper shell in the back of her truck (which was parked on site).

The former vice president of a company I worked at had more than one experience with Russian "mail order" brides, both ending in breakup and/or divorce. Another man, this one a department manager, had similar experiences. Neither of these two was well-liked or respected by the majority of the people they interacted with at work, and no one who knew them was surprised by the outcomes of these relationships.

Sadly, I think that the two men actually were surprised. They lacked insight as to why their previous relationships (formed with local residents) did not go well, and thus invested a great deal of financial and emotional capital based on a belief that the selection process, rather than their own attitudes and behaviour toward their partners, was responsible for previous failures.

All in all, I think it's better if he sought an Aussie woman.

I think he has some growing up to do---but to call him "toxic" is somewhat of an exaggeration.

At least he's a pretty honest guy.

They were foolish to think that love can actually be bought(unlike sex). Trouble is though, good character is not sexually attractive. The converse isn't true either. What makes people attracted to you has a lot to do with things you don't have any control over.

What you need to do is find someone where there is at least some sexual attraction but compatible personalities and shared goals.

Interesting observation, but I must offer a different view, as I do find good character sexually attractive. I'm thankful for that, as it has allowed me to be in love with a person who didn't meet many of the 'specifications' for attractiveness on a physical/superficial level.

Me too--a guy who can demonstrate kindness and moral fortitude is sexy to me. To me, a man who is moral is a man who is in control of his faculties and his appetites, which I find very attractive.

I might add that my partner seems to have grown more attractive physically over the time we've known each other. It is said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and apparently this eye can become more attuned to the mind, over time.

Absolutely, that is very true. It has certainly been my experience with people I came to care for very deeply because I respected and admired so much the people that they are. They just somehow become more visually appealing and attractive with time.

How is "good character" being defined here?

So you're telling me you like so-called Nice Guys(TM)?


I'm rather skeptical. Basic human decency is necessary, but not sufficient, when it comes to making someone attractive. I've heard women say they like "nice guys", until a Nice Guy(TM) comes along and they reject him for some reason and he whines about how women like as*holes. I mean, if you're honestly willing to date anyone who shows decent character traits regardless of anything else then you sound extremely desperate.


A decent guy is generally nice to people by default without expecting something in return. And he realizes that what makes him attractive to women is a combination of traits. His character is part of the equation but it's NOT the only variable.

Nope. Nice Guys™ are the opposite of men with good character. They are moral cowards and usually selfish and oblivious in many ways. I don't expect you to understand how good character could be attractive to a woman.

Just because a woman is attracted to nice behavior doesn't mean she'll be attracted to any and all males with that trait...as you say its not the only trait a relationship can be built on.