Is it ever okay to look at a women's breasts?

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hyperlexian
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29 Jul 2010, 9:44 pm

if she has ANY chance of noticing, like if she is talking to you or standing close to you, it is not acceptable. at all.

the idea is to *sneak* a glance. if she sees you looking, you will be considered creepy and offensive. it will pretty much kill any chance of ever getting to see the breasts unclothed. the same goes for taking multiple chances and sneaking glances - she will catch you eventually, and it is like ice water. she will have a bad feeling about you.

just how creepy the woman thinks you are if you look at her breasts depends on your relationship (i.e. love partners, friends, acquaintances, strangers, coworkers, and so on). a differential level of power will also add to the creep factor (i.e. boss and employee), and age differences will have the same effect (older man, younger woman).

some women may be giving the appearance of wanting men to look at their chest, by wearing tight or revealing clothing. but this is not truly the case. very very few women actually want anyone looking directly at their breasts - they want the attention to be on themselves as people. as in, they want attention paid to their conversation, their personality, etc... they want their breasts to have a man initially notice them, but not in a sustained and staring kind of way.

some women know instinctively that if they can just get a guy's attention, good things can follow. but they don't want their breasts to be the ultimate target of strong focus.



Ambrose_Rotten
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29 Jul 2010, 9:53 pm

I'm not really that interested in boobs, and yet sometimes they can be pretty distracting. If I wore tights with a giant kielbasa shoved in them, people would stare too. :lol:

What I'm really a sucker for is large pupils. That means you can slap me if I give you prolonged direct eye contact. :?



Last edited by Ambrose_Rotten on 29 Jul 2010, 9:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jdcnosse
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29 Jul 2010, 9:53 pm

I would have to agree with a lot of the people here, and say that women don't find it acceptable to stare at their breasts. However, I do stare at my girlfriend's breasts sometimes, but she is not talking to me and it's more of a "they are nice, i wonder how long it'll take before she notices that I'm staring" kind of thing, and we're intimate so I've seen them before.

However, being a guy, I admit that I do look at breasts. I don't stare, because yes, women will look at you with disgust, or even say something to you. I've never looked at them while talking to someone, as I didn't feel I could get away with it.

For me a glance is a couple seconds at most.



Tequila
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29 Jul 2010, 10:08 pm

No, and you're a dirty, disgusting pervert that treats women like sex objects.

Image



book_noodles
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29 Jul 2010, 10:08 pm

scubasteve wrote:
When she's flashing you

When she asks if she has a lump

When she's talking about her day

I'm pretty sure 2 of those 3 are ok but I always forget which.

1 and 3. :lol:
I don't know, I'm a girl and sometimes I find myself staring at women's sparkling necklaces which can be awkward. Plus when you don't look at people's faces, it's difficult to .. you know..look elsewhere.


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Xenu
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29 Jul 2010, 11:56 pm

Why would you even ask this OP... I mean sure alot of us may be antisocial but this is just common sense... You don't look or stare at a Womans breasts while talking to her... It isn't good etiquette and can really creep out the woman.



GoatOnFire
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30 Jul 2010, 12:27 am

If you're using reflective surfaces cleverly it's okay. *breaks your ears with the sound of a goat trying to produce a wolf's howl*

At a strip club or Mardi Gras it's okay as long as you remember not to look at some fat guy's massive boobs, just look at the women's boobies.

It's also okay if you're taking sexual harassment training and a buxom instructor asks for an example of what would be considered sexual harassment.

I can't get away with it face to face because I'm so damn tall. Have to look down far enough just to meet the eyes. Short guys are lucky. :evil:


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Robrecht
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30 Jul 2010, 1:12 am

You know, from the fact that my eyes often drift away from the eyes of people I'm talking to and that they often go down, yet I've never really had any negative reactions or complaints, I can only assume that a lot of the time looking towards a woman's breasts is not nearly as bad a thing to do as they claim when you ask them.

This is not because I'm one of those guys who believes they secretly want you to look at them, but because I know from experience that half the time they simply fail to notice it or don't register it as a 'bad look' (because it isn't).
The closer you are situated to them, the more likely they are to notice, but if it's simply a consequence of not looking them in the eye then standing fairly close to them should result in looking at other parts of their face or of to the side more than looking at their chests.

So essentially, is it wrong to look in the direction of their breasts? Not unless you're purposefully looking at them intentionally.

And most women should realize that if they're having a conversation with a guy and he's looking towards their chest without getting distracted, he's probably not looking AT them so much.

And, ladies, if you're displaying significant cleavage or wearing a shirt with a print (especially words), then you're specifically drawing attention to your chest area and you should take into account that that means that guys will be looking that way more than if you wore a plain t-shirt or sweater.



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30 Jul 2010, 1:16 am

Xenu wrote:
Why would you even ask this OP... I mean sure alot of us may be antisocial but this is just common sense... You don't look or stare at a Womans breasts while talking to her... It isn't good etiquette and can really creep out the woman.


Are you not noticing that I did not use the word "stare"?



JohnisBlind
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30 Jul 2010, 1:18 am

Xenu wrote:
Why would you even ask this OP... I mean sure alot of us may be antisocial but this is just common sense... You don't look or stare at a Womans breasts while talking to her... It isn't good etiquette and can really creep out the woman.


Are you not noticing that I did not use the word "stare"?



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30 Jul 2010, 1:47 am

This topic is probably one of the few subject matters where my 'shyness' would vanish on occasion - depending on my mood that day


n4mwd wrote:
1) Its ok to look at them if you are NOT talking to each other.
2) Generally, her cleavage is an indication of how open she is about you looking at them. If she has no cleavage, she doesn't want you looking down there period.

1) I read that as it was ok to look if you were not talking to 'each' as in boobs and the female :lol:

2) That is possibly the most ridiculous thing I have heard about cleavage and looking.
A couple years back I had a breast reduction - The only time I did NOT have 'cleavage' was if I was wearing a turtleneck shirt - I hate clothing so chances of me wearing a turtleneck, every day are pretty slim.

Generally though, I could care less, I got used to it probably by the time I was 14/5?
But then, sometimes it would just be like, enough is enough already.. so I would
kinda look down towards the guys crotch - say oh.. kinda surprised.. then move in for a closer look at the 'goods' (much easier if they are sitting down)
then say ouch, did that hurt much?
gay male 'friends' suggested that to me - and a couple other ways

blue_bean wrote:
Sometimes you can't help it when a woman's cleavage is so...how do I put it.....their stand out feature. Some women have cleavage that just screams "LOOK AT MY CHEST". Sometimes I can't even avoid a glance at their chest and I'm female :P.


Had some gay female 'friends' give me some responses to females looking as well..



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30 Jul 2010, 1:51 am

DonDud wrote:
... I wonder how easily they can tell...


You may want to buy sunglasses.
It is like when a guy gets a hard-on and the sonar beacon goes off, alerting all the women in the area that a potential mate is read and maybe able.
Except, unlike the sonar beacon, we do not hear it, we feel it.
Kind of like a thin beam of sunlight on skin, that gets warmer the longer contact is maintained.


MotownDangerPants wrote:

I'm a bit of a perv .. BUT if it were constant I'd be annoyed


Pretty much this



auntblabby
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30 Jul 2010, 3:48 am

T-Bone wrote:
I think some women would be insulted if you never glance appreciatively at their sexy body, especially if they are dressing up to show off their body (like if they wear a sexy dress).


only if you are an alpha or rich beta male, will most women care for such attentions.

T-Bone wrote:
However, I get scared, fear being accused of sexual harassment, so I just look them in the eyes and never say they are sexy even if they ask.


at work a long time ago, i complimented somebody on their artistically painted nail artwork- this person turned around, not saying a word to me, but complained bitterly to my boss about how i was sexually harrassing her, when all i did was say she had nice nail art work. my boss read me the riot act, at which point i promised her i wouldn't so much as even look in the direction of this or any other person even if they were on fire. if i were a movie star or bill gates or something similar, i firmly believe this woman would likely have said something to me along the lines of "marry me!"



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30 Jul 2010, 4:09 am

auntblabby wrote:
T-Bone wrote:
I think some women would be insulted if you never glance appreciatively at their sexy body, especially if they are dressing up to show off their body (like if they wear a sexy dress).


only if you are an alpha or rich beta male, will most women care for such attentions.

T-Bone wrote:
However, I get scared, fear being accused of sexual harassment, so I just look them in the eyes and never say they are sexy even if they ask.


at work a long time ago, i complimented somebody on their artistically painted nail artwork- this person turned around, not saying a word to me, but complained bitterly to my boss about how i was sexually harrassing her, when all i did was say she had nice nail art work. my boss read me the riot act, at which point i promised her i wouldn't so much as even look in the direction of this or any other person even if they were on fire. if i were a movie star or bill gates or something similar, i firmly believe this woman would likely have said something to me along the lines of "marry me!"
:lol: :lol: :lol:


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30 Jul 2010, 4:28 am

Erisad wrote:
*shrug* Just don't stare. I'm used to having them grabbed all the time by friends at school. It took awhile to get used to it though. >.>


That's some horrible personal boundary violations.



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30 Jul 2010, 4:55 am

Seanmw wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
T-Bone wrote:
I think some women would be insulted if you never glance appreciatively at their sexy body, especially if they are dressing up to show off their body (like if they wear a sexy dress).


only if you are an alpha or rich beta male, will most women care for such attentions.

T-Bone wrote:
However, I get scared, fear being accused of sexual harassment, so I just look them in the eyes and never say they are sexy even if they ask.


at work a long time ago, i complimented somebody on their artistically painted nail artwork- this person turned around, not saying a word to me, but complained bitterly to my boss about how i was sexually harrassing her, when all i did was say she had nice nail art work. my boss read me the riot act, at which point i promised her i wouldn't so much as even look in the direction of this or any other person even if they were on fire. if i were a movie star or bill gates or something similar, i firmly believe this woman would likely have said something to me along the lines of "marry me!"
:lol: :lol: :lol:


I think the kind of behavior that you are describing is wrong and that society really needs to change. Men shouldn't have to live in fear of unfairly being given a sexual harassment charge.