What Are Your Dating Deal Breakers?

Page 3 of 5 [ 76 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

emlion
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,641

25 Aug 2011, 5:20 am

Abusive is probably the only deal breaker, really.
Everything else is dependent on circumstance and the person.



CrinklyCrustacean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284

25 Aug 2011, 5:43 am

I have a few dealbreakers, but one of the most prominent is that they must have an appreciation for music. Music is a part of who I am and I wouldn't be able to tolerate being unable to share that aspect of myself.



Sean_91
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 156
Location: Colorado

25 Aug 2011, 6:36 pm

1. Abusive
2. Judgmental
3. Expects me to conform to NT standards
4. Married
5. Doesn't accept the fact that I need time to myself
5. Prejudiced
6. Addicted to drugs and alcohol
7. Addicted to sex
8. Prone to cheating



combatcupcake
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 15

27 Aug 2011, 12:36 pm

I tend to discount people if I see they have things that make me feel they wouldn't be into me. My friend (VERY NT) calls this selfish.
Do you guys tend to do this too?

Like if I come across a girl who's very into sports, social, loves to travel, etc. I won't even bother cause its unlikely she'd put up with me. And even if I did give it a chance (assuming she was into me) I wouldn't be so willing to do her things, making a relationship hard anyway.



anna-banana
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2008
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,682
Location: Europe

27 Aug 2011, 12:52 pm

- cowardly behaviour/general pushover
- lack of ambition and/or interests
- boring conversationalist
- obese
- fanatically religious or political (includes conspiracy theories)
- fan of mainstream pop music

non-deal-breakers:

- significant age difference
- shy/no desire to be social
- no desire to have kids, get married or be exclusive


_________________
not a bug - a feature.


Megz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,028

27 Aug 2011, 12:53 pm

combatcupcake wrote:
I tend to discount people if I see they have things that make me feel they wouldn't be into me. My friend (VERY NT) calls this selfish.
Do you guys tend to do this too?

Like if I come across a girl who's very into sports, social, loves to travel, etc. I won't even bother cause its unlikely she'd put up with me. And even if I did give it a chance (assuming she was into me) I wouldn't be so willing to do her things, making a relationship hard anyway.


That's not being selfish, that's being realistic about trying to find a compatible partner. Even if two people have amazing chemistry, the relationship won't work if they don't have compatible needs/wants/interests, speaking from personal experience.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,666
Location: Stalag 13

29 Aug 2011, 10:30 pm

If a man told me that I'd look sexy if I was x amount of lbs lighter. I want to be healthy, not sexy.


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


minervx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,155
Location: United States

29 Aug 2011, 10:52 pm

deal breakers
financially irresponsible
passive (boring)
has kids
is not a respectful honest person
does illegal drugs
breaks the law
lesbian , transgender
is in a relationship
texts too much
bad listener



scubasteve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,001
Location: San Francisco

30 Aug 2011, 8:10 pm

Deal-breakers: (yeah, it's a long list.)

Dishonest
Unreasonable
Judgmental
"High-maintenance"
Snobby/Elitist
Self-centered
Hypocritical
Unintelligent
Boring/humorless
Disinterested
Promiscuous
Drunk
Heavy cigarette smoker
Does not want/unable to have kids
Already has kids
Older or much younger
Psychotic/Red Sox fan
Eats pizza with a fork
Herpes

Non-deal-breakers:

Any clothing/style
Height/weight (within reason)
Piercings/tattoos (within reason)
Pale/dark skin (just no fake tans, please)
Freckles/blemishes
Family issues (well, most that I can think of)
Depression/self-image issues
Unfocused/dreamer (but must have a dream/ambition)
Ketchup on hot dogs (just don't do it in front of me!)
Autistic spectrum disorders (otherwise see above: "hypocrite")



minervx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,155
Location: United States

30 Aug 2011, 8:49 pm

i dont consider smoking a deal breaker, as many people do. as long as it is done respectfully and limited, and if the person is good overall, i don't mind it too much. i still see it as a flaw, but a tolerable one.



scubasteve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,001
Location: San Francisco

30 Aug 2011, 9:00 pm

Yeah, I should probably clarify the only reason I list smoking as a deal-breaker is I'm an ex-smoker. And if my date is smoking like a chimney, I wouldn't last the night. Otherwise, to each their own.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

31 Aug 2011, 1:33 am

Eats pizza with a fork?
Seriously?
A couple of other things in that list make me think you don't have much life experience, but I'll leave you to it.



blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,464
Location: United Kingdom

31 Aug 2011, 1:37 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Eats pizza with a fork?
Seriously?

A couple of other things in that list make me think you don't have much life experience, but I'll leave you to it.


:lol:!



Grisha
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2009
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,336
Location: LA-ish

31 Aug 2011, 7:40 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Eats pizza with a fork?
Seriously?
A couple of other things in that list make me think you don't have much life experience, but I'll leave you to it.


It seems that the more life experience you have, the shorter your list is - I wonder why that is?



AsteroidNap
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jun 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 601
Location: Santa Monica, CA

31 Aug 2011, 7:53 am

Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Eats pizza with a fork?
Seriously?
A couple of other things in that list make me think you don't have much life experience, but I'll leave you to it.


It seems that the more life experience you have, the shorter your list is - I wonder why that is?



Sadly, as I've gotten more life experience, my list has gotten more exclusive I think :(

Not because I'm less tolerant...I don't believe my broad tolerance for people has changed. What has changed is an understanding of myself and what works. For example, smoking was mentioned a few posts ago, and smoking is a deal breaker for me now, though not when I was younger. This is because my mother died of smoking-related illness and I'm not going to watch as a potential SO kills themselves with smoke.



scubasteve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,001
Location: San Francisco

31 Aug 2011, 3:28 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Eats pizza with a fork?
Seriously?
A couple of other things in that list make me think you don't have much life experience, but I'll leave you to it.


No. I was kidding about that one, and also the one before it. But I am serious about the rest. And while it is a long list, I don't think any of it is unreasonable. At least, none of it is superficial.