Misery Loves Company.

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Sweetleaf
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09 Jan 2012, 1:59 am

Fragmented wrote:

Pshhhh, you people are wonderfully crazy. At least they're straight talking. Even if it's about how they'll bloody your nose over an ill-phrased joke about their beaten up wife and head. XD Love it Tequila, love it.

But back to the issue at hand, negativity. It's a killer.

and the complete lack of negativity is something I don't even want to picture.

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Tequila
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09 Jan 2012, 2:00 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

and likewise I can usually smell enemies miles away.

Not if you don't know that they're your enemies and you think they're your friends. Aspies are often very bad at telling manipulative/narcissistic/predatory people from good people. This can be very dangerous for women.

Tequila
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09 Jan 2012, 2:00 am

Fragmented wrote:

I wish society was more like it.

Fragmented
Snowy Owl

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09 Jan 2012, 2:01 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

Yes you are right about the vibes, but its intresting as depressed as I am if I am around people I trust I am not exactly that horrid to be around. I don't know some of the best times I've had involved talking to people who understand some of what I'm going through...sure it might be a negative conversation but it can feel good just having someone who understands.

Also, I am not sure what I could really go out and do with my special intrests other then attend concerts as I am very into music. But I don't really like going to concerts alone because I seem to have bad luck finding anyone to talk to or interact with.

Oh Sweetleaf, you're not getting what I'm saying. I'm not saying you're a bad person, I'm sure you're quite lovely when you're around good people. I'm not saying the opposite at all. I'm just saying that if you talk about your problems to your bf, theoretically, excessively, then you're pushing him away because the negativity is overwhelming the positive. They should try and look for the positive, but when you're depressed all the time it hurts the other person.

As to music, do you play it? If not, you could do that. Concerts, do you really need to talk or interact with anyone? Technically you're there for the music, so people are irrelevant. Though as a raver I know a large part of concerts is the other people. But concerts are primarily so you can hear music, people are secondary. And you might be able to meet nice people who like your kind of music there too. It happens.

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Sweetleaf
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09 Jan 2012, 2:03 am

Tequila wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

and likewise I can usually smell enemies miles away.

Well maybe I should just get a dog, then the dog will alert me if the person is manipulative/narcissistic/predatory, or I can just not ignore the feeling I get around those types. As for danger, I was thinking about getting a taser disguised as a flashlight but I can hardly live my life in a cave simply because there are dangers in the world.

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Tequila
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09 Jan 2012, 2:05 am

Fragmented wrote:

Agreed. People can only take so much, after all. After a time they will then associate you with negativity (your problems are not theirs, after all, and everyone has his or her own problems in life) and may look for ways firstly to ameliorate your/their problems and, if that doesn't work, cut their losses and leave.

Sorry, I feel like a broken record.

Fragmented
Snowy Owl

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09 Jan 2012, 2:05 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

Fragmented wrote:

and the complete lack of negativity is something I don't even want to picture.

Woaaaahhhh, where did I say a complete lack of negativity? Everything in moderation. As I say, lord knows I'm still cynical and depressed, but with a slight positive view on things, I feel better more than not. I still have moments of negativity, but they're more constructive now and I learn better.

Tequila: Aye, there'd be a lot more whippets and fish and chip stands... There's no good fish and chip places in America, the only good one I found was Asian owned, which was strange. >.> Tempura-esc fish, surprisingly good.

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Tequila
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09 Jan 2012, 2:07 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

As for danger, I was thinking about getting a taser disguised as a flashlight but I can hardly live my life in a cave simply because there are dangers in the world.

Indeed, and no-one is saying you should live in a cave, least of all me. It does pay to be wary though. If you have friends or relatives, you could ask their opinion of your new boyfriend. They might agree that you're a very good match or they might be able to warn you off him.

Fragmented
Snowy Owl

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09 Jan 2012, 2:08 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

Tequila wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

and likewise I can usually smell enemies miles away.

Dogs aren't always barometers for bad people... Though dogs are fun. We're not saying live life in a cave. How is what we're saying translating to "fear the world?" No one is saying that. We're saying use appropriate caution, don't get used, and try to take care of yourself so you can deal with other people. None of this says fear the world and hide in a cave.

Tequila: You're a broken record that's stuck on the good part of the song.

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Sweetleaf
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09 Jan 2012, 2:17 am

Tequila wrote:

Fragmented wrote:

I understand that, and I do tone it down when I need to also I am more into finding an activity to do like watching a movie, listening to music, playing video games, having a few beers rather then going on about problems. But obviously not so positive conversations have to come up sooner or later so things can be dealt with in the open.

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Sweetleaf
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09 Jan 2012, 2:21 am

Fragmented wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Tequila wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

and likewise I can usually smell enemies miles away.

I guess I just took it that way, sorry if I misunderstood and that is what I do more or less.....I mean I cannot garantee I will never be used again by anyone, but I feel I have learned from some of my past experiances and can better see the signs that I am being used and then get out of the situation. But I am actually kinda street smart much to my moms lack of knowledge about me.

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Fragmented
Snowy Owl

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09 Jan 2012, 2:22 am

Well that sounds fairly positive. Maybe you just think you're negative when you're actually positive. Finding other activities instead of wallowing in sorrow is like.... The definition of positive. Or at least positive distractions.

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Sweetleaf
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09 Jan 2012, 2:23 am

Tequila wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

As for danger, I was thinking about getting a taser disguised as a flashlight but I can hardly live my life in a cave simply because there are dangers in the world.

For sure, and I do have a friend that would be more then willing to tell me what he thinks about any boyfriend I might aqquire.

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Sweetleaf
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09 Jan 2012, 2:29 am

Fragmented wrote:

Well I don't know everyone would agree all the distractions we'd indulge in are positive distractions......also we'd have to be ok with each other without distractions I mean I know sometimes I have to talk about stuff or let it out somehow and I would imagine that is how it is with other people as well.

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Sweetleaf
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09 Jan 2012, 2:32 am

But yeah take this for example two people in hell.....well hell sucks. But lets just say its a guy and a girl and they find they have some things in common and enjoy being with each other regardless of how much their situation sucks. That is kind of what I am getting at but maybe this is a terrible metaphor.

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Fragmented
Snowy Owl

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09 Jan 2012, 2:33 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

Fragmented wrote:

Sometimes you do. And sometimes you will. Distractions aren't how you deal with the other person, they're things you do with someone to make yourself feel better so that you don't need to talk about your problems because you'll be having too much fun to care about your problems.

I have a routine now where I go out and do fun stuff three times a week with my friends, and except when I get paranoid and worry, being out and doing stuff, usually music or the like, is distracting enough that I don't want to talk about my problems. I don't want to think about them because I'm too busy listening to music, or playing cards, or singing, or whatever it is that I'm doing. Distractions aren't how you cope with people, they're how you DISTRACT yourself from the negative.

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Last edited by Fragmented on 09 Jan 2012, 2:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

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