How does one get a girlfriend?

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Ohh no my friend, a girl being physically attracted to you does not mean you have everything under control. You have to know what your doing once she is attracted to you, which is the hardest part!

I guess I can see where you're coming from. I took some acting lessons too... What I've been willing and able to do is to suppress some of the more unseemly traits of AS while in public... most people think I'm the bullshitter of the century when I tell them I'm an aspie. For day-to-day affairs, what you're talking about is fine.

But I can't keep it up forever. The longest I've been able to remain in this state is about 12 hours. Anything longer than that, and my aspie nature shows through again. In the case of college, it's easy since I can revert to aspie while I'm driving to and from school (45-50 min commute, up to an hour in rush hour traffic).

Changing such things on the surface doesn't bother me. What I refuse to do is adopt several of the NT traits into my core being (things like deceit and manipulation), since such traits would compromise my personal code of ethics.

The problem with that arises in that my NT emulation doesn't go deep enough to emulate NT-style romance. So if I attempt to be romantic, I become so incoherent that I can't even interact socially for some time after that... I've circumvented it slightly by approaching romantic interests as particularly good friends, but that obviously makes the woman think I'm not sexually interested in her, and therefore I get a ticket on the express bus to the friend zone...

Do you have any idea why NT's have a problem with honesty? I know it's fairly established that they have, but that makes absolutely no sense...

I think it's because it is a flirting tradition/custom to pretend that the involved parties are as close to perfect as possible. Total honesty and openness are also considered to be traits that you would admire in friends more than romantic interests.

ugh... to think that someone is perfect is folly, pure and simple. Attempting to do so means you are only deluding yourself...

Even in friendships, it's not prudent to tell people your life story and your secrets from the beginning. It may make them feel like you're trying to get close to them too quickly, because they might not be as comfortable with telling you about themselves. That's my idea of being too "honest", anyway.

No, not really. I wish I did.

Well obviously I wouldn't do that... no need to actually tell her stuff that happened when I was 6 years old and has no impact on the conversation at hand... but if she asks, I would answer...

Try reducing things, looking at them from a diferent angle. Everything we desire in life is based on our primal instincts, socializing increases our chances of survival through safty in numbers and aids our advancement through collaberation and shared information.
The only reason men and women pair together is to create genetic copies to continue our genetic lines, reproduction is a result of survival intinct and the continuation of your genetic line is the best answer you have for survival. Why do you think parents love their children unconditionally?
In order to ensure the survival of our lines far into the future, men and women seek out a mate with the best genetic traits that they can find, attraction is based on this. Inteligence, physical health, all attractive traits are examples of good genes.
Through this evolution continues it's course. Women are picky because they are fueled by survival intinct! Their most powerful driving force. Same with men.

Attract-->Build Comfort-->Seduce

Unless you are the often cited "Brad Pitt" and can already flip women's attraction switches you should start out as a charletain, using tactics to make yourself appear attractive to her subconcious self. She will feel attracted to you, but won't know or care why. In her mind, an attractive guy is just what you are.

After establishing yourself as attractive you move on to comfort, revert from your fun, playful, teasing banter to conversation with more substance. Another trick that comes to mind if you want her to want to see you again is investment, the more time, money etc. a person invests in somthing, the more valuble it seems to them. Notice how someone who works for something appreciates it more than someone who gets it handed to them on a silver platter?

Seduction is important because after the initial act of sex she will subcontiously see you as a mate.

This model is the result of years of collaberation by men seeking to master the art of courtship, many practitioners have mastered this art to a point they can get virtually any woman they want, even if they are married or in a relationship. I know this because I personally know people who have reached that level.
It goes much deeper than this breif description.

Money, women love money

jk, that only applies to sluts

be urself

First get a girlfriend and take her out in public thus showing to other females that obvisoly there is soemthing about you that can be used to maintain a girl's interest.

Personality > looks

Trust me, I have a facial deformaty.

too bad you can't see personality

Tell me about it.

As a woman I would say most important, is be yourself. Don't pretend to be someone your not. If your nervous about a date, just tell her that. She might find it charming. Be nice to her, listen to her, make her feel important. Aspie's can be very charming at times.

What kind of women are you finding attractive? That could be one problem. Keep an open mind about who you date. Even if you aren't initially attracted to someone, you might find they grow on you and you have a great time with them. While you might not look like Brad Pitt, the average woman isn't going to look like Angelina Jolie either. Be realistic.

If you go out, offer to pay but if they insist on paying for their own, let them. If you have a good time, tell her that then ask if you can go out again and make a date. Don't call too much, a little aloofness from a guy is appealing too. Don't try to make her a girlfriend until your first kiss, if that goes well you can ask. Don't try to kiss her until after the 3rd date unless things are really going well. Not a firm rule but a good start. Take things slow and she wants to go faster, she'll let you know.

Most normal women would be very understanding of how hard it is for you to date. You just have to let her know. You don't have to call it by name but let her know that you get nervous and you're shy.

Finally, if she's not being nice, don't push it. She's not worth it. Time to move on to another one and try again.
Hope this helps. Just keep trying. The best way to start something is just by saying "hello". Nothing is going to happen if you sit there and do nothing so you have to try.

No.