Misery Loves Company.

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Sweetleaf
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09 Jan 2012, 2:37 am

Fragmented wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Fragmented wrote:

Well that sounds fairly positive. Maybe you just think you're negative when you're actually positive. Finding other activities instead of wallowing in sorrow is like.... The definition of positive. Or at least positive distractions.

Well I don't know everyone would agree all the distractions we'd indulge in are positive distractions......also we'd have to be ok with each other without distractions I mean I know sometimes I have to talk about stuff or let it out somehow and I would imagine that is how it is with other people as well.

Sometimes you do. And sometimes you will. Distractions aren't how you deal with the other person, they're things you do with someone to make yourself feel better so that you don't need to talk about your problems because you'll be having too much fun to care about your parents.

I know that, that is what I was getting at.....doing activities together, however as a rule mentally ill people like myself do need to talk about it and acknowledge how they feel and are not always in the mood for distractions. I mean obviously it would be kinda ridiculous for me to expect we could be doing activities 24/7 and never have to face any problems at all.

I have a routine now where I go out and do fun stuff three times a week with my friends, and except when I get paranoid and worry, being out and doing stuff, usually music or the like, is distracting enough that I don't want to talk about my problems. I don't want to think about them because I'm too busy listening to music, or playing cards, or singing, or whatever it is that I'm doing. Distractions aren't how you cope with people, they're how you DISTRACT yourself from the negative.

Again I was not suggesting distractions are how to deal with people.

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Fragmented
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09 Jan 2012, 2:47 am

As a "mentally ill" person myself, I know the need to talk about stuff. Trust me, I'm in a very similar boat to yours, I get it. I'm not saying you have to be doing stuff 24/7, I'm saying that doing some positive stuff like distracting yourself with a movie or music or whatever can do more for you in the long run to make you feel more content, than talking about or thinking about your problems every second of the day.

You can still talk about your problems. You can still be depressed. You can still be negative. You can do anything you want! But if you're looking for a boyfriend who is specifically depressed and crazy, you're either going to find a soul mate, or you're going to drive the person away if you don't figure out how to feel better about yourself, even depressed people get tired of other people being depressed, TRUST ME, I KNOW. I have similar problems.

Basically, if you take anything from this conversation is that:
1: Depressed people require comforting.
2: They may not always be able to comfort you, even if it's just their presence because they're too depressed to do that.
3: They may not like being bombarded with problems 24/7, and this can drive them away.
4: Distracting yourself with fun activities is a way of not having to worry about your problems.
5: EVERYTHING IN MODERATION, be it talking about problems or distracting yourself with activities.
6: Good luck and best of wishes.

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Sweetleaf
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09 Jan 2012, 2:50 am

Fragmented wrote:

Yeah I get all that, I just would rather not be convinced I should remain single because I'm not perfectly mentally healthy....it does make sense though.

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Fragmented
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09 Jan 2012, 2:58 am

You'll never be perfectly mentally healthy, neither will I, no one is suggesting you need to be a perfectly "normal" person to look for a relationship. All that's implied is that you should be in a slightly better state so if the depressed person you find isn't always capable of being helpful, you can still stay sane and not be overly depressed.

The only reason I keep harping on about this is because I want you to be content. Everyone should know what it's like to be content. You're a very pretty girl, you could get any bf based solely on that. The point is you need to find the RIGHT person, not just ANY person, and to find the right person, you sometimes have to look inward and find the right person for YOU to be, so that you'll know the right person FOR you.

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Sweetleaf
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09 Jan 2012, 3:02 am

Fragmented wrote:

I don't even know if I am still sane....

but yes I am not after just any person, I do have some standards. I guess I just know what I am attracted to but yeah I kinda suck at describing things like this. But thanks for the advice and such.

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Fragmented
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09 Jan 2012, 3:17 am

Supposedly if you can still question your sanity, you're sane. That's good, I hope you find them. And you're very welcome, I hope that my advice helped, even if only a little.

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thedaywalker
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09 Jan 2012, 4:26 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIkoSPqjaU4[/youtube]

your thread reminded me of this song also remember sanity is subjective if schizoprenics hear god there crazy when christians do their just christians.

Sweetleaf
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09 Jan 2012, 4:33 am

I like Jefferson Airplane....and yes sanity is subjective.

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Boxman108
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09 Jan 2012, 4:45 am

thedaywalker wrote:

Always get that song confused with this one.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pMM4iwC-ag&ob=av2e[/youtube]

Anyway, I'm not sure if it would necessarily be a good idea to look for someone like that specifically. Then again you could just as well prove everything wrong.

I think a lot of people have gone through their own kinds of depression. Some deal with it differently, others may not want it to be anyone else's business as to not bring anyone down or it's just too personal an issue. I've been feeling a lot worse as of late, it's hard to even pinpoint why, but I figure I've spent more than enough time on pity and can realize how unattractive it can be.

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Sagroth
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09 Jan 2012, 4:51 am

Both my wife and I suffer from depression. And there are occasions where one of us can bring the other one down. But mostly, we support each other where the other is weakest. The most important thing to find someone who fills in the empty space in you and vice-versa. My wife and I always joke that between the two of us, we make a pretty decent individual.

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nick007
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09 Jan 2012, 10:10 am

I feel like this myself. I think two people who are both miserable because they are lonely can be happy together because they won't be lonely. Unfortunately I cant find anyone to give me a chance :cry:

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Sweetleaf
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10 Jan 2012, 4:31 am

I have to admit the following song kind of inspired this, or at least describes how I feel kinda:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tz2DHyg70As&list=HL1326187726&feature=mh_lolz[/youtube]

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