Females' flirting and partners

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Can anyone explain how come females only seem to flirt with you or show signals of interest in you while they are in the company of their partner - as happens with me?

Maybe it's an Edinburgh thing... East coast floozies!

I don't know, really. Maybe it's because they feel they can flirt without having to take the consequences because they are obviously with someone. Just guessing - flirting isn't something I do.

Girls like to flirt, but aren't promiscuous.

Actually they seem to flirt with me only when I'm with my girlfriend - and in general the person flirting with me is single.

I'd say it's because they know it's not going to go anywhere. hence safe - - but in a way if it's someone you have known before they might be signaling that it would ok for you to approach them should you or they break up with their current partner.

So not necessarily an empty flirt, just possibly for future reference.

OR they might be trying to make their current SO jealous - OR (in 1% of all cases) they may be looking for a threesome/partner-swap.

It's always that way.

They're not flirting because they want you.

They're flirting because;
a. It's considered safe - and they want to flirt.

b. If you pay them attention over your girlfriend, it's the highest form of flattery - they take that to mean that they're "better".

c. They find causing social problems between you and your girlfriend to be fun.

If you broke up with your girlfriend on the spot, it's pretty certain that they wouldn't be interested.

I think they probably see you as more confident, more of a challenge, and if another woman likes you, then there must be some good qualities about you. It's like they have to get approval from another woman before they can become interested in you. Either that, or they are trying to compete with your girlfriend to see if they are as good or better. The feeling safe part is also possible. Women are weird.

It happens in other species. I have a good friend who used to flirt with me and many other guys. Now that she's a widow, she won't flirt at all. It's "not safe".

What can be really crazy-making is when your GF claims another women was flirting with you. Not that you were flirting with the other women, but it's your fault anyway.

It's over my head, as I don't flirt - but it seems awfully disrespectful.

Many women flirt with their male friends because they enjoy doing it as an end in itself, especially if they think the other person "knows" that the flirting doesn't really mean anything (say, if they're in a happy marriage and the guy involved is aware of this). On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that nearly all men only flirt as a means to an end and wouldn't flirt with someone who they didn't find attractive.

Because quite simply, they want what they can't have. Simple as that.

I can't explain it, but I will definitely say I've noticed it too.

Hahah, I was just discussing this the other day with my guy friend.

Girls flirt. Period. Guys often take it seriously, especially those with AS and similar traits. I used to flirt a lot more until I realized the guys thought it was going somewhere, and I stopped. I flirt with girls, girls flirt with each other, knowing perfectly well then that it's a safe outlet. Why? Flirting is part of the social wiring, so if you have it, you do it.

Flirting is the socio-sexual equivalent of aerobic exercise and most martial arts; just because you're partaking in practicing the moves doesn't mean you're competing in a serious sport or truly preparing to fight someone, but it can come in handy in both situations.

I speak from experience that women who flirt while their partner is nearby are using them as a safety harness while exercising their skills in getting the attention and approval of others, notably the sex their attracted to. There are lots of little already mentioned underlying variables--usually, they feel their partner will protect them, or they'll cause jealousy, thus validating their value in the bond.

Flirting should never be taken seriously.

Very often it's not that they're flirting with you when a significant other is present, they're just not trying as hard to avoid having normal friendliness be misunderstood.

All too often guys assume normal friendliness or just normal politeness indicate romantic interest or constitute "flirting". If you're a girl, at times life can seem like a never-ending game of dodge-the-stalkers, in which you're constantly trying to guess how normal-yourself you can act without some guy going all creepy on you.

The ever-running tally of subtle cues that gets kept in a desperate attempt to stay safe from the scary people winds up working against Aspie guys, simply because Aspies can give off some of the same social cues as the truly dangerous types.