I'm sorry (Kind of...)

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I'm not a nice guy. And I'm happy I'm not. However, I'm just really frustrated over lack of sex...more to the point...not meeting a woman that's at all my type on dating sites who wants to meet for sex. I could probably have better luck in real life, but frankly, I don't have the balls. I can occasionally approach a random woman, but then I'd rather come off as a "good person" by not flirting with them and making a move than take the chance that she doesn't want casual and come off as a pig. Online, at least I can nicely email women on dating sites, explain my situation (that I'm a physically attractive virgin with aspergers) and hope they empathize. Since the direct route doesn't work, it's turned me into the same frustrated jerk that I've hated all these years.

Let me also say that I wasn't told to apologize. Some of the things I've said, I believe, but a lot of it is just exaggerated because I'm sexually frustrated.

As for someone who isn't nice, you have been nice to me.

We're friends off the board and we have things to talk about. Also, for the record, a lot of my ramblings about women applied to young NT women only. I didn't mean to offend Aspie women, or older mature NT women on this board.

For your own sake you should chose your words more carefully or not post at all when you're angry. This is a website - all you have to represent yourself is what you say. After your periodic hateful outbursts and personal attacks how many will believe you're actually sorry?

A lot of people here are doing better than you and many have it worse - they are more impaired, don't have a place to live or struggle hard to make ends meet and have some food. They don't take it out on others. Don't make excuses and take responsibility for what you are and what you do and you won't need to apologise to anyone.

Good luck, foreveryoung, I will refrain speaking to you from now on since any different opinion, no matter how politely expressed upsets you so much.

The thing is, I'm happy with myself other than this...whatever it is...obsession with the V-card. Am I ecstatic? No, who is? But I'm generally happy. I'm frustrated because for all I know I could have sex with someone I'm attracted to and not even love it. For one thing, I don't like exercising, building up a sweat, or physical exertion. The obsession is years of building it up in my head, and being brainwashed by society...a society that preaches nothing but sex and makes you feel guilty and that you're the only one not getting it.

I've never understood how the "but you're different from the rest of the people I've been discriminating" comment is supposed to be comforting. On the surface it sounds like a compliment and I know I'm expected to be grateful that I indeed have met so-and-so's approval when he/she generally is hard to please. But every time a statement like that is thrown in my face (be it regarding my sex, race, or political or religious beliefs), I find myself thinking about what an as*hole whoever-made-that-comment is.

I don't know why that is, though.

I don't hate all young NT women like a racist hates all (pick whatever race)...I'm more frustrated at the ones on dating sites that are no better looking than me but are looking for prince charming...and mad at myself for not having the balls to talk to any women I don't know in real life more often than not.

I'm sympathetic now, because I can see that all the negativity you generate on this forum is out of despair. But reign it in. Nothing you've written here in the last month has gotten you any nearer what you really want. You need to open up and ask, not tell tell tell like you know everything.

And it's always better to apologise whole heartedly or not at all.

There's a lot of things I react to in you posts, but let's take the most immediate.
Why are you going on a DATING site, when what you seem to want is honest casual sex. There are specific sites for that you know...
You really don't know whether or not you'd be successful before you actually try your target audience. Namely women who want casual sex.

Why are you happy that you are not a nice guy. That sounds screwed up from the start.

Why would anyone care about someone who is not a nice guy?

Right BigK.

Being a nice person might not get you a gf (on it's own).. But it is a requirement to be a human effing being that wants to be around other human beings.

I think I'm going to get in trouble for saying this, but here it goes...

The dating world is not too dissimilar from the employment world, experience is appreciated over honesty. Why do I say that? Because the first time I ever got with a girl, I lied about being a virgin, I was honest until that point and had no results because many women are attracted to a man who knows what he's doing and that creates a paradox for some people. I didn't make up anything elaborate, just enough to cover me if the topic of sex ever came up (I practiced lying to co-workers first). When I lost my v-status, I tried my best to keep my partner convinced that I was experienced, I don't think I fooled her, but all the same I did not enjoy the encounter myself and other than being able to officially deny being a virgin, it would be years from that encounter until I got intimate with someone, and the first thing they noted was "it's been awhile hasn't it"

But yea, polishing your resume doesn't hurt your odds, even if it does violate Kant's "Categorical Imperative"

I'm a good person, much different than the dreaded "nice guy." Nice guy...guys like Toad.

Oh cmon he blatantly picks on people for no reason while professing that he is a "player" and knocking everyone elses interests (like you, "go watch anime")

There is no excuse for his behavior and he isn't going to change that overnight.

I'm just trying to take sex off a pedestal. The only way that will happen is finding a girl I'm remotely attracted to (I'm not looking for ideal or a model or playmate or anything...just looking for a cute, above average looking woman in the same league as myself lookswise) and judging for myself how much I like or don't like sex.

The reason I get frustrated is because I don't think I'm asking for a whole lot. There should be women out there that want a guy in the same league as them instead of going for the hunk. Even I got over the whole "model, perfect breasts" thing.