A350XWB wrote:
Maybe, since some of you are Aspies that have narrow criteria in order to look for potential boyfriends/girlfriends, you could share these with us.
What an extremely complicated subject! One thing that I have learned in the last year+ is that I can be attracted to very very different men (as in my boyfriend is about as opposite as could possibly be from the man I loved before him).
Ok, so now for a brief visit to Fantasy Land. If I had never met my boyfriend and could build my own man from scratch, he would be:
*adverse to smoking, drinking, and illegal drugs, just like I am
*very intelligent
*reliable
*trustworthy
*able to make me smile and laugh when life is rough
*able to tolerate my quirks, flaws, and shortcomings
*able to guide me toward maximizing my strengths and minimizing my weaknesses
*attracted to me and want to return my love (that's a biggie)
That said, for almost all of the criteria on that list, my boyfriend either doesn't have those qualities, or it's very very questionable. So why have I chosen him, and why am I still trying to make it work? Apparently, the things about him that are special and great are special and great enough to hold on to. There is no other man like him, he isn't replaceable. The flip side of the coin is that a man who would meet more of my "criteria" would almost certainly view me as too weird, too impaired, and having too many shortcomings to be desirable.