women have it harder(coming from a male)

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SadAspy
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09 Sep 2011, 10:31 am

emlion wrote:
mv wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
I'm not going to say that one side has it "easier" than the other overall... both sides have their advantages and disadvantages (for one thing, even WITH the affirmative action, men still have better jobs and better pay than women, even ones that don't have children and thus don't need to take time off on maternity leave).


80% of the jobs lost in the recession (here in the States anyway) were lost by men.


Oh, ffs, the reason those jobs were lost by men is because those industries affected were, by and large, those that EMPLOY ONLY MEN (construction, etc.). That's perfectly, easily verifiable. Please stop with the histrionics.


shhh woman, stop applying logic to the situation!


Ooh she rebutted one of like 50 points I made....she really schooled me. And didn't really rebut it...just put a different spin on it. Even if what she says is true, it's clear the job market is favoring women more and more.

How about telling me why men commit suicide in greater rates and why they have a shorter life expectancy? It's because they've been mistreated by women so much.



emlion
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09 Sep 2011, 10:35 am

yeah us women are so evil. :cry:
lulz. anyway - to reiterate on the original point;

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techstepgenr8tion
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09 Sep 2011, 10:38 am

Lol - OP, do you see what kind of monster you made?


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SadAspy
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09 Sep 2011, 10:39 am

emlion wrote:
yeah us women are so evil. :cry:
lulz. anyway - to reiterate on the original point;

Image


techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Lol - OP, do you see what kind of monster you made?


More posts that don't actually dispute anything I said.



techstepgenr8tion
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09 Sep 2011, 10:42 am

SadAspy wrote:
More posts that don't actually dispute anything I said.

Were you the OP?


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SadAspy
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09 Sep 2011, 10:45 am

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
More posts that don't actually dispute anything I said.

Were you the OP?


No, but I assume I'm the "monster."



hyperlexian
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09 Sep 2011, 10:48 am

Rhiannon0828 wrote:
Not sure if you are being sarcastic or joking... but what I think is really hard as a woman are all the social skills that I am supposed to know instinctivly (that I don't know), the emotional reciprocity that I am supposed to have just because I am a woman (that I don't have) and the multi-tasking skills like working, going to school, being a mom, and taking care of my home all at the same time that are expected of a woman ( that I may never have the executive function ability to successfully achieve). Oh, and doing it all while being pretty, charming, witty, insightful, and socially adept.

i agree with this ^^^

i do NOT think men or women have it harder. we have our own set of challenges that we face. and it's not even universally the same for all members of either gender. one woman's problems may be completely different another woman's, and the same goes for men.


in general... while i appreciate the intent of this thread as a female, i think that there has to be a better way to help men and women understand each other better on WP. i just don't have any idea how to effect that. most threads that encourage men and women to find the positives in each other end up going down in flames. support threads where people want specific advice seem to work pretty well.

i guess the problem is really in the ranting. people want to be supported and understood for their suffering, but some members seem to have problems expressing their frustration without blaming or deriding or generalising or demonising the opposite gender.

this is frustrating to me because there are a great many positive and kind and understanding and supportive people on the board. also, there are members who are lonely who do not blame the opposite gender for their troubles. but these individuals are largely ignored and are as likely to leave WP in frustration as the people who feel targeted by the angry rants. they are drowned out.

there is a lot of good advice on here (and even some potential dating opportunities if you don't go on misogynistic or misandric rants), but the people providing that excellent advice get burnt out from the hate and the anger.

something i have been thinking about... in real life it is really never acceptable to put down groups of people like that. if a person is discussing love & dating at work on lunchbreak in mixed company, there is no way they would be expressing massive negativity towards an entire gender, or saying how certain body types are disgusting, or making sweeping generalisations. WP's L&D is not a gender-exclusive club where friends can freely trash the opposite sex - it is a group of individuals with different ages, genders, life experiences, cultures, ethnicities, education, levels of functioning, etc.

i think we are all better off when people are made to feel welcome with inclusive and supportive interactions as opposed to all the negativity, otherwise the forum itself because less helpful and less useful.


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hartzofspace
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09 Sep 2011, 10:54 am

SadAspy wrote:
Nice way to change the subject. Stop being a white knight. I have balls thank you very much...that's why I stand up to women's bs. You, on the other hand, fall for it. Most women (I would say all, but then I get in trouble) are eugenicists who are weeding us out. They will only breed with alpha bad boys.

I am genuinely puzzled about this "bad boys" stereotype. Where does it come from? And BTW, I hate alpha males. I have been hit on by them frequently, and nothing gave me greater pleasure than to deflate their arrogant egos. The reason they put me off, was that if some guy approaches me speaking some "prerecorded" dating message (that has caused dozens of mindless bimbos to fall in his bed) I am always glad to prove that it won't work with me. Intelligent conversation gets his foot in the door. Leering comments about various parts of my anatomy gets the cold shoulder.

My opinion of bad boys, is that I fell for one - once. When he showed me that he was just as willing to assault me as he was male rivals, I was soon cured of that tendency.


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mv
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09 Sep 2011, 10:58 am

hyperlexian wrote:
Rhiannon0828 wrote:
Not sure if you are being sarcastic or joking... but what I think is really hard as a woman are all the social skills that I am supposed to know instinctivly (that I don't know), the emotional reciprocity that I am supposed to have just because I am a woman (that I don't have) and the multi-tasking skills like working, going to school, being a mom, and taking care of my home all at the same time that are expected of a woman ( that I may never have the executive function ability to successfully achieve). Oh, and doing it all while being pretty, charming, witty, insightful, and socially adept.

i agree with this ^^^

i do NOT think men or women have it harder. we have our own set of challenges that we face. and it's not even universally the same for all members of either gender. one woman's problems may be completely different another woman's, and the same goes for men.


in general... while i appreciate the intent of this thread as a female, i think that there has to be a better way to help men and women understand each other better on WP. i just don't have any idea how to effect that. most threads that encourage men and women to find the positives in each other end up going down in flames. support threads where people want specific advice seem to work pretty well.

i guess the problem is really in the ranting. people want to be supported and understood for their suffering, but some members seem to have problems expressing their frustration without blaming or deriding or generalising or demonising the opposite gender.

this is frustrating to me because there are a great many positive and kind and understanding and supportive people on the board. also, there are members who are lonely who do not blame the opposite gender for their troubles. but these individuals are largely ignored and are as likely to leave WP in frustration as the people who feel targeted by the angry rants. they are drowned out.

there is a lot of good advice on here (and even some potential dating opportunities if you don't go on misogynistic or misandric rants), but the people providing that excellent advice get burnt out from the hate and the anger.

something i have been thinking about... in real life it is really never acceptable to put down groups of people like that. if a person is discussing love & dating at work on lunchbreak in mixed company, there is no way they would be expressing massive negativity towards an entire gender, or saying how certain body types are disgusting, or making sweeping generalisations. WP's L&D is not a gender-exclusive club where friends can freely trash the opposite sex - it is a group of individuals with different ages, genders, life experiences, cultures, ethnicities, education, levels of functioning, etc.

i think we are all better off when people are made to feel welcome with inclusive and supportive interactions as opposed to all the negativity, otherwise the forum itself because less helpful and less useful.


Hear, hear! This post, alone, should be stickied!



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09 Sep 2011, 11:01 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
But there is ONE thing that I consider unfair about the system. Namely, the fact that the men are expected to make the first move.

Women can and do make the first move when they see something they like! :wink:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
Men are the ones that have to put pretty much everything on the line to ask a woman out. If women could at least share in this part of the whole dating process, or at the very least make it clear to men that they would accept if approached, this would be a whole lot easier.

When my current guy approached me, I made it clear that I would accept. Because I was attracted to him. If a woman is attracted to you, she will accept your advances. If she isn't she won't. And, women put everything on the line when they ask a guy out; often considerably more than a guy does, because she is risking her reputation. I have had this happen to me several times. The guy wasn't interested, and then he and his friends would laugh at me when I walked by.


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techstepgenr8tion
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09 Sep 2011, 11:11 am

SadAspy wrote:
No, but I assume I'm the "monster."

I think you may be reading this thread much differently than I have. This was my understanding:

emlion wrote:
Image

mv wrote:
^ This.

You know what? We women DO have it easier. We're a lot less deluded, on the whole...

CircusFreak wrote:
societies expectations:

guy:

-Get a degree...technical school whatever...make 50k a year(any guy can do this
-get in shape(wieghtlift ,bike). Once again, any guy can do this...i did.
-Develop decent social skills


women:

-be pretty
-be pressured into looking pretty
-have a naturally pretty face....which is not something you control
-wear clothes to make you look pretty
-be pretty..
-go through child birth
-Did I mention there is pressure to be pretty?


My point is this to all the men here:

Grow some balls and stop whining about how women have it easier. Go lift some weights, take out some loans and enroll in college. In addition, treat your women like a queen, spoil her, develop good social skills through watching people.... and just man up. Women have it MUCH harder from talking to my girlfriend.



Image


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09 Sep 2011, 11:17 am

SadAspy wrote:
Even if what she says is true, it's clear the job market is favoring women more and more.

do you care to show some evidence or are you just making random assumptions? here is a statistic showing the exact opposite of what you are asserting:

From the United States Department of Labour.

http://www.dol.gov/wb/stats/main.htm

Quote:
Women comprised 46.8 percent of the total U.S. labor force and are projected to account for 46.9 percent of the labor force in 2018.


fact is, more men than women are holding jobs. more and more women are deciding to hold jobs and more employers are hiring them, but that doesn't mean that they are unfairly taking jobs away from men. men and women are equally entitled to work, and currently fewer women than men are in the workforce. if women held more than 50% of the jobs, perhaps it could be a concern, but for the time being you are looking for a problem that doesn't exist.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Sep 2011, 11:26 am

"Having decent social skills"

Yeah, because that is pretty easy. lol explains the male suicide rate.


There's also social pressure on the guy too : to be confident, to APPEAR confident, to look confident, to be very independant, successful, to be the pursuer at the dating scene...etc

I think you discounted a lot of things.



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09 Sep 2011, 11:52 am

hartzofspace wrote:
Women can and do make the first move when they see something they like! :wink:
Then I guess nobody likes me, because the ONLY time I have ever been approached was when two women were trying to make fun of me. (i.e. it wasn't serious)

Quote:
When my current guy approached me, I made it clear that I would accept. Because I was attracted to him. If a woman is attracted to you, she will accept your advances. If she isn't she won't. And, women put everything on the line when they ask a guy out; often considerably more than a guy does, because she is risking her reputation. I have had this happen to me several times. The guy wasn't interested, and then he and his friends would laugh at me when I walked by.

And men don't put everything on the line when they ask women out? Is that any worse than being called a creep by a girl's circle of friends for asking her out? It's like I'm magically supposed to know if someone wants me to ask her out, and if she doesn't and I ask anyway, i'm labelled a creep. That's part of why rejection is so painful...



Wayne
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09 Sep 2011, 12:02 pm

Rhiannon0828 wrote:
Not sure if you are being sarcastic or joking... but what I think is really hard as a woman are all the social skills that I am supposed to know instinctivly (that I don't know), the emotional reciprocity that I am supposed to have just because I am a woman (that I don't have) and the multi-tasking skills like working, going to school, being a mom, and taking care of my home all at the same time that are expected of a woman ( that I may never have the executive function ability to successfully achieve).


Expected by whom? Men? We're looking for dates/girlfriends/wives, not executives or managers. If you can be a good friend, sex partner, and teammate, and are reasonably attractive, you'll be just what any number of men are looking for.



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09 Sep 2011, 12:08 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
"Having decent social skills"

Yeah, because that is pretty easy. lol explains the male suicide rate.


There's also social pressure on the guy too : to be confident, to APPEAR confident, to look confident, to be very independant, successful, to be the pursuer at the dating scene...etc

I think you discounted a lot of things.

men who commit suicide are not all single, never-married, or incels. they also don't necessarily lack confidence and can be very successful. they may tend to be socially isolated, but that is not just in terms of dating or sex - this is a more total social isolation.

more women than men are diagnosed with depression. however, women are more likely to get help for their issues (63% of people in psychotherapy treatment are female), and they are also more likely to take antidepressants (twice as many women as men are currently taking them).

sources:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles ... last-stand (sexist article but the stats are in there)
http://www.scientificamerican.com/artic ... -americans

here is a great article that actually breaks down some of the risk factors for higher levels of male suicide:

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/menshealth/f ... uicide.htm


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