How many of you are on OKcupid?

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I made an account about a week ago to accompany my PoF.com profile (same SN as on here). It was pretty amusing answering all of the questions, although I probably should have made some private. I have talked to a few girls, but most of them have been flaky or just psycho. I did have a promising one a few days ago, but she said she was just looking for friends. That fact really irks me. Her and many other girls will go on there and clearly make a profile to find someone but then say they are only looking for firends. That accompanied with the multitude of girls that post that they don't want to hook up, but ignore guys that make a genuine effort to talk to them. They really should lower their expectations and realize that most of the hot guys on there can find women easily in person and probably are only on there to get some outside of their local area. I'm starting to wonder if that's all most of the girls want too...

I would consider dating women in their 30s if I didn't feel far too childish and at a different point in life than they might be looking for.

when i first created an OKC profile a few weeks back there was about 15 women who viewed my profile before i had even filled any of it out, other than a photo.

now that I filled it out no one has even viewed my profile in the last week.

I have yet to lie and say i have a job and make $40,000-50,000 per year, i'm sure that will change things.
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when i was living on the east coast there was a 10:1 male to female ratio within 50 miles of my location, and there was literally only 20 women within 25 miles of my location so as you can imagine there would have been no responses.
I did message more than a few who lived back in my home town and there was nothing there either during those three years.
there is still nothing here for me.

lesson learned: people are damn picky.

oh, forgot to mention, did you know half of America is single?

Last edited by johansen on 02 Feb 2012, 10:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm on there. Unfortunately my aim with cupids arrow is about the same as with a regular arrow, I can't hit the broadside side of a barn

ya im on there. i havent really had much real success, though. i did date 1 girl and i've met people from the website and all, but they werent really right for me at all so it didnt work out.

I'm a big fan of okcupid , it was a lot of fun.
I found my boyfriend there and my first okcupid date became my penpal.

In my experience, I meet two types of people online: either those who are geniuses compared to me (like the guy who finished 2 bachelors and one masters degree in four years...while still being a great pianist/organist and doing loads of performances)...or those who are so intellectually vacuous that they bore me.

I'm very thankful for meeting the former types of people. Meeting greater people than myself makes me happy.

Regarding relationships, though...sex sites are better. It seems that people are more open to my personality and many quirks if they're also very attached to my body/image. Not that I'll bed them very quickly, though. Maybe.

Of course, very small sample size in my case.

Meh, it worked for a little bit. I mostly got creepers though. My last ex was from there. He was on probation for the rape of his ex girlfriend. I didn't discover this until much later and it completely changed the tone of the relationship. That and his mother hated me so we broke up. Since then I haven't had a date from there and I'm fine with that. I have a bf now that I met through my friend.

I'm on there. All but one guy I've met one there were screw ups in one way or another. They just did. not. have. their s**t together.

I am and things did not work with the first guy I met from there, but I met someone else and things seem to be going better.....though I am kinda worried he could find someone better because I don't feel I have much to offer, I mean I don't even have a job or a degree or anything to really say 'oh look I've accomplished something and am not a total loser'. But for now I've enjoyed hanging out with this dude and I hope maybe we can come to some sort of conclusion that involves not going our separate ways.

I salute you all. I have no idea what to put on my profile! I'm so introverted that *anything* seems like too much information / a blatant attempt to sell someone a false set of goods.

Plus, the things I like doing, that I'm good at, no one is likely to care about (I say that not because I'm not proud of myself but because I have distinctly loner, girl hobbies). And how to let people know that you want someone smart, without sounding snobby/elitist about it? I suck at stuff like this.

What do you do? Just start with a verbal dump of everything and then revise, revise, revise?

I had one on Match years ago but I never seemed to target the right people with it.

It's difficult, too, because I'm in my 40s and have dependent children and don't want to date someone more than 5 years older than me (unless we really clicked, but I just don't see it happening).

Any suggestions? I do like that OKC seems to have a more eclectic set of people.

I referenced some of my interests in my profile. Just some music and movie quotes along with some very general bs. Don't put anything and everything on there, just keep it focused and concise.

I mostly just listed a few of my more interesting interests and a very short list of my desirable quality's.

This ^ minus I"m not 40 and don't have kids.

i had more than one profile for more than one kind of connection at different times in the past. for all of the profiles, bluntness and honesty worked for me. i tried to put forward my personality in my writing style and my content and i offered up all of my quirkier and more interesting aspects. i am not "normal" or "average" in any way, so it made sense my profile should reflect that.

i thought hard about some things that made me different from other women, and i studied their profiles to get a sense of how NOT to come across. basically i figured out how to best promote my real self in a way that made me look as unique as possible.

it's hard to explain what i did really, but here are some examples of ones i used, far as i can remember:

...other profiles mention liking italian or japanese food etc, so i took it further. i expressed that people tell me i have adventurous tastebuds YET i hate veggies and don't eat chicken (it was a teaser so they'd ask why). also that i eat flowers and collect antique cookbooks (i.e. "Dishes Men Like" LOL)

...people always say they "love kids"... so i was brutally honest: i don't want to hear about anyone's kids unless we are in a serious relationship, and i promise not to talk about mine either

...women say they love, "family, friends and having a good time"... so i said i have hobbies i enjoy - and i don't expect anyone to do them with me.

...women rarely mention sex really, unless they are looking for hookups... so i bluntly said that i think about sex about as much as an 18-year old boy, but i expect to get to know a man online for months before i'd even meet for coffee.

...people try to appear as normal as possible... so i listed a few symptoms of AS and said that i have a certain disorder. if men could name it in a message then they would get extra brownie points


in general, i also made sure my vocabulary reflected my level of intelligence. i read my profile out loud to make sure it flowed. i chose a masculine user name (the name of a shop tool that i happen to be able to use) to catch the attention of guys. i really tried to promote myself in terms of advertising - i included quirky facts that stood out, and left some teasers for people to ask questions. people like a puzzle but not a boring blank slate.

i made sure the first line of my profile was like a catchy phrase, something like:

i like my beer bitter and my coffee black


usually, i messaged the men i was interested in, or winked or visited their profiles a couple times to signal interest. i did get messages from men but i prefer to be the aggressor.

that's all i can think of off the top of my head.

I had that problem as well with okcupid. they think we autistic people can't be dating. not true. i see them as autistic not us. we

may act weird,but we are better than those on the site without autism.





it takes a walk and a stick to reach the end of the road.(autismthinker21)

I have several, none of them have done me a bit of good.

I've had a few messages from some really interesting young women... but whenever I ask them if they want to meet up.. they stop responding. It's a truly confusing situation, because I don't want to just keep messaging her about inane stuff and risk getting classified as "Friend only" material.. but at the same time I haven't quite got the knack of just how long I should wait to ask them out.

It's all academic at this point. I've messaged all of the women in 50 miles of me that I consider suitable. The rest I'm just not interested in, either they are physically unappealing, or are some good ol' gal who just loves big trucks, jebus and bein' raised in the south. Gag.

I mean I suppose I could widen my net.. but to be honest anywhere within 500 miles of me is pretty much going to be the same, I'd have to physically move to another geographic region, or else settle for a long distance relationship.. which I really am not looking for, since well.. the whole reason I'm on the sites in the first place is to find people to date.. not chat online with.