Men, Love and Physical Attraction towards Women

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High heels really annoy me, I can't stand that sharp tap-tap-tap sound they make on a hard surface. When I was a kid I used to think women wore them just to make everyone uncomfortable (not kidding).

Makeup is ok if it's not excessive but it's better without; I can see women of very advanced years using it, but I don't understand why its so common. Messy hair is sometimes just messy but often its ... hot.

Also the whole makeup, perfect hair, high heel thing is tolerable in public but in private ... to me it's a social mask/costume, and if someone is wearing a mask in private it makes me very uncomfortable. Like there's a television personality in the room or something. It's just weird, for me.

Well first of all high heels are incredibly bad for the body. I used to wear them because I bought into that whole concept that they were necessary for dressing up. But now I spend all my time in LL Bean shoes or sandals or sneakers. And to hell with anyone who doesn't like it! As for men only being attracted to women who wear heels, that is strictly up to the man in question. The man that I am engaged to does not like high heels. He admits that one of the things that attracted him to me was how I dressed. I wear what's comfortable, not what others think looks sexy. If your prospective guy in employed in the fashion industry, he might hold a preference for woman who wear high heels. But in the end, when you take those high heels off, you are the woman that you are.

except women are expected to be fit in addition to all the other things, and women do "all those other things" every day, just like working out
in the op, her mother/sister are if not forcing, strongly encouraging her to wear them.

On men not liking make-up, it's likely you just don't like "obvious" make-up. "Bare-faced" is a desirable look that often includes some cosmetics (foundation, light blush/highlighter, brown liner, brow pencil, concealer, 1 shade darker than skin tone shadow) applied with a light hand.
Hair that looks "just brushed" is also often done with product and some other process.
Just a heads up that a lot of work can end up going into "natural" looks.

Clothes/make-up aren't false advertising, 1 no one is selling anything, 2 they can look like that when they want to. People don't always look exactly the same all the time.
I like to wear winged eyeliner and big heels (I just like to feel extra tall), they're personal aesthetic preferences, not coercive lies to trick men. I am "me" when I'm done up. Style is a form of expression, it's a visual extension of my personality. I'm the same person regardless of the bra I'm wearing or how I've done my hair.

I agree with messy hair having potential for hotness, for all genders. rawr
also on the masks, public/private face thing which I think is kinda brilliant

Yeah maybe ... I don't know ... women look pretty darn good straight out of the shower usually, though. I don't think it stays on in there. They can look good with natural makeup too and since I can't tell it doesn't bother me.



I used to like wearing coats, boots etc that I thought were cool, just because it made me feel good, I imagine it's at least partially like that. Or like how some people like cowboy hats etc.

Last edited by edgewaters on 26 May 2012, 8:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

To get a degree of fitness like a female pop star, jog for two hours a week for six months with a moderately healthy diet (as long as you burn more calories than you consume, there's no need for eg. protein supplements) if you're already within your ideal body fat range. Some female sex symbols don't even work out at all if their metabolism is fast.

If a man wants to look like Hugh Jackman or Gerard Butler, with good genetics he needs to do deadlifts, bench press, squats and other painful exercises 4-5 hours a week for years PLUS cardio when he's cutting. Of course, a very strict diet is needed. After newbie gains, a man with great genetics can at the most gain 10 lbs of raw muscle.

A male with visible abs, typially has 8% body fat or less; in rare cases 10%. 8% is barely half of what's ideal.



Did I say I didn't like make-up? It's the "too much tan, combined with too much hair bleaching, and too much eyeshadow" look I can't stand. The one you accuse all men of liking.



I never called it false advertising.

That wasn't all for you, sorry if my formatting wasn't clear.
I never accused "all men" of liking anything.
I'm not denying there is effort (a lot) that goes into being a buff guy
I'm saying on average women put more time/money into appearance maintenance. Which is true.


@edgewaters
Oh yeah, I just meant it's likely when you see a girl out and about that looks barefaced and nice (who isn't in her teens) there is likely something on her face, light make-up is pretty indistinguishable at a glance from someone being 'natural'. I love how dewy people look straight of or the shower. mad cute

Very much like that on the clothes count. Some girls like how they look in push-ups/make-up/stilettos, not because they're trying to entrap anyone, because it makes them happy.

Or a preference for men (har har,  aren't I funny).

Now that I think about it, neither of the 2 women I was most attracted to wore high heels. One had what looked like normal women's shoes on top, but with completely parallel bottoms (not even 'pumps' if I correctly understand what 'pumps' are).  And the other wore  boots (as in 'combat boots').  Yeah, I probably shouldn't be used to estimate the preferences of normal human males. 

But seriously, I do wonder how much of any general male preference for high heels is a matter of seeing it all the time (seeing it as the norm),  rather than actively preferring it.

Attractiveness, healthy is it. Nice wide hips, normal body fat, healthy appearance that's all. A potato sack is all you need to wear - really. All this other junk - high heals, overprice handbags, jewelry it means little. Make up, if you are young you dont need it. I guess all the make up stuff is to look younger or maybe it is more like the clown makeup thing, to get attention, maybe sort of like dressing up like a Christmas tree so all will notice. The over priced hand bags, and other overpriced name brad things must be some kind of competition between women because it sure has no effect on me, really a complete mystery why you would pay so much money for those things.

I really wouldn't notice ... I'm not one of those aspies with a strong focus on details ... I'm a pattern thinker, and I get general impressions, I have to focus to see details. My gf is always asking me if this or that is noticeable, or if one eye/breast/whatever is bigger than the other, stuff like that, and I just can't tell!! ! I always say the same thing: who the heck would notice unless you asked them or they stood there and inspected you head to toe for a few minutes?

Heavy makeup is severe enough to stick out, natural makeup I would have difficulty noticing one way or the other, and "somethings" on a face are invisible to me unless they're really noticeable or I thoroughly inspect their face for details.

Sometimes it takes me a minute to recognize someone if I see their face in public (and sometimes I fail to recognize altogether) - but I can sometimes instantly pick out a familiar person from a crowd without ever seeing their face, with their back turned to me, wearing clothes I've never seen, simply by their posture and movements.

If natural makeup were to make a woman more confident or happier I wouldn't pick up on the makeup itself but I would definately pick up on the change in the movements and postures that it would cause. People are more attractive when they feel good as opposed to when they don't.

To be honest, I think a light amount of make up is probably the most attractive but I don't know if it draws the most attention for most guys. I know in some cases, attraction comes down to less is more for me but everyone has their personal preference.

I definitely find this attractive because it's more subtle.


And I think this would be a case of wearing too much make up.

The first one is ok, not my type but not unattractive, but the second one looks ... off. Actually her face really does look like plastic, you could crop that off at the neck and if you told me it was the head of a plastic doll I'm sure I'd believe it.

Sexual attraction needn't be primary-
it can occur after romantic feelings have developed.
That's likely MORE often how sexual relationships begin:
we very often become attractive physically to those attracted to us mentally/emotionally.

Last edited by ValentineWiggin on 27 May 2012, 3:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

What planet do you live on?

Earth. I've even met girls who don't workout at all who look like models because they eat healthy.

Sexual attraction is the primary difference between friendship and relationships.

Most men say that, but I think what they really mean is straightened, not brushed. It's just they don't realise that's what they mean, because they don't understand female hair.

I have wavy hair and am no longer willing to waste hours of my time and fry my hair to death by torturing it with straighteners. I once attended a gathering at a neighbour's house and decided to wear my hair down for once, and to make sure it was smooth and detangled I brushed it to death before leaving, only to arrive and be rudely told by my neighbour's husband: "I do think all_white might have bothered to at least brush her hair before she came." Which illustrates my point that when men say "brushed hair" they really mean "straightened hair." When brushed, wavy/curly hair just turns into frizz. But if you don't brush it, it turns into a dreadlock.

I may be wrong of course, but when you say you want a woman who brushes their hair I'm guessing you are probably envisaging flat, shiny, sleek, tidy hair. Wavy or curly hair, when brushed, does NOT look like that. So it would be more accurate to say you want either a woman with naturally straight hair, or a woman with wavy / curly hair who is willing to straighten it to please you and conform to society.