Any advice accepted

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Thank you all for your help!

Last edited by Nelly155 on 07 Jul 2012, 4:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If he says he has a girlfriend I think you should believe him. Why would he lie? Also he's clearly stated his position. Respect his wishes. You'll meet someone else.

He has stated that he is unavailable to pursue a relationship with you. If you are interested in him romantically- or whatever- let him know that you'd like him to keep you in mind if he's single again in the future. Then drop it. Bringing it up over and over is rude and will make him uncomfortable.

An honest direction would be to not be a part of someone cheating on his girlfriend, however many quotation marks you put around it. If he is the type of person that would have a fake girlfriend and string someone along (she may have feelings, too, it is likely), and also be unfaithful to her, why do you think he would make a good boyfriend? People don't have one set of ethics for one relationship and then have a new, better set of ethics for their next relationship. A person seeking to have a clear conscience would break up with the first girl in order to pursue you if he were really willing to put in the effort of being honest.

ASDs (I'm gonna say aspies because it sounds less clinical to me) are almost always serious.


See above.


Sex is very dangerous/risky/heartbreaking for aspies way too often.


But you do want sex with him, and probably more. (this is not a question =) So he's probably scared.


That's aspies. That's the problem.


Doubtless he does have something to say and doubtless thinks you'd think it was stoopid, invasive, offensive, or embarrassing to you.


Both.
Also maybe he's just agreeing to meeting up with you because he feels sorry for you in some way and doesn't want to say it. See above.


Of course he does or he wouldn't meet w/you. =)


Aspies rarely lie.


Another aspie issue.


1,297, 836 times burnt, twice shy. Aspies are burned a lot, more than you could possibly imagine.

He's a guy, you're a girl that alone is enough here. =) It's 'normal'.


Something caught his interest, that's what intense focus can do, 5 days is nothing.


Unlikely, guys don't think this way and aspies are notoriously unsubtle.


Contact him as much as you want, you're safe. He probably wont understand/notice your test of the silent treatment and simply assume he was right all along: you weren't safe. Or he will correctly guess that you're playing games with him, games he KNOWS he will lose painfully.
You're not the first girl to be hot for him. sorry.


You can brutalize this soul without even trying, you better be a really tough, honest, FAIR always girl to him or find yourself another man than wont get so damaged by games. (I'm not saying you're playing them, but I'm asking you to think hard about if you are even a little bit)


Be brutally honest with him and yourself. Be brutally open. Do not be coy, he wont get it and you'll get frustrated.


Move things forward? You mean steal him from his girlfriend? I don't know that that's honest, unless you tell him, "I want to steal you from your girlfriend."
Aspies are unimaginably, staggeringly, and dare I say, foolishly, loyal. Good friggn luck. He wont care if you're even a movie star.


This, I'm not sure I believe.
But I'll give it.
If you cannot be ten times the woman his current GF is -in every way, including forever patience for his quirks- leave him alone. For good. Forever. You're too intent upon him right now.

Be strong. And be kind.
Even if it breaks your heart.

Can you do this? Are you a real woman - worthy of a good man? Because only an air-wasting skank-ho would do otherwise.

To put it simply, it sounds like you are being too emotionally clingy and needy with someone who doesn't want the same. Time to move on, it will be healthier for the both of you if you can't remain mutual friends and get over these feelings you have for him.

From my perspective it seems he's not into you.
Truth is hard to hear but it's likely... unless you see him that often and there truly is no "girlfriend" then it's probably a crush he has on a girl that's taken.

Sorry to say; you were the piece of ass on the side and now he's prob getting serious with his girlfriend so he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He's not that into you; but might want to keep you around for sex at some future time.

Ask yourself this:

If he's willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, what would stop him from cheating on you with someone else if you were together?