Unhealthy obsessions: not being able to let go?

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Right now with a current situation, I am uncertain what to say about it. I will relate previous experience with what is going on here as well. The first two scenarios I was not fully aware of what Aspergers Syndrome was despite having been diagnosed many years prior. I refused to believe I was an Aspie for a long time. I am sorry if this is long.

Scenario number 1: About 4 years ago, I briefly dated a girl. I got into a stupid argument with her one night that I pretty much started and I apologized for it the next day only to be dumped the day after. I obsessed over this loss. I was too afraid to talk to her when it became clear that she was involved with someone else. I was also too afraid of saying what was on my mind because my previous experience before that with doing so did not go over well. I had no time to settle my thoughts on the issue at the time, but when I did a while later, I chose to remove her from my life completely (Facebook, MSN, phone list) because the obsession became too much.

Scenario number 2: I obsessed over a co-worker when working at a Wal-Mart. I think this one did like me just a little bit. I asked her out but I fell into the aspie trait of backing out at last minute for whatever reason too many times. I was able to overcome that fear in the future but not with this girl. Once I realized I lost her, I started getting obsessive and she saw it. She eventually left the job and two weeks later I did and not because of eachother. We never really talked much since, but I was able to at least walk away from this situation by talking to her, saying sorry for any grief I caused her and walked away. I had not seen her in a while, but when we bumped into eachother we had been friendly and civil.

Scenario 3: Earlier this year, I went for a 19 year old (I have referred to her before). I initially kept her at arms length but we got along great through text and chat messages. I finally asked her to hang out and she said yes. We hung out once and after that she pulled the no reply treatment on me. I was mad that she did that to me. Eventually she got back to me, but I was already trying to move on so that i did not get obsessed. I asked her something personal which was a big nono considering and got teh same treatment. I obsessed over this loss and almost refused to move on. This obsessive breakdown led me to go back into old habits (smoking) and I still haven't quit. I like the first girl, removed her from any contact list I had her on. I have not seen or heard from her even once.

Current scenario: met her a couple months ago and we had enjoyed eachothers company. Been further with this one compared to any other girl I have dated or been with. There is no title to us right now. Last Saturday during a pub crawl meetup we both went to, we were both a little drunk (Maybe me more than she was despite having the same amount of drinks), she said something to me about "Don't know how things will work out." I started an argument about this a while later and even tried to leave her there and go home. I made her cry and she did say "You will regret this tomorrow." She wouldn't let me go at first, but then decided to let me go. I was outside for two minutes doing whatever I needed to do (phone calls), and I turned around and saw her at the door of the pub. I came back to her and asked what she was doing, and asked "you want me to come in?" to the reply "I can't believe you have to ask." I stayed with her and we both left a little later and got a cab to her place and I got sick in her bathroom, but she cleaned up what ever little I hit myself with and brought me to bed and cuddled with me to keep me warm. When I woke up in the morning, I made her breakfast and watched some tv with her and left to go home. She did say to me "I forgive you for what you did last night, won't forget. I don't think you handle alcohol well and I'll just chalk up the behaviour to you being drunk." She had not initiated contact with me since and I offered to make things up to her and she said yes, but she isn't good with the time offered since she is sick with something that won't go away. We also have an engagment for next weekend that we are supposed to attend together. There is a part of me that is obsessing over what happened last weekend and I think it's because I believe I have lost this one although there is no real good sign that this is true. She doesn't know that I am thinking about this too much.

I want to walk away from this one because I don't want to think about it, but it's not the right option. I need to confront my fears. I think I should wait and see if she initiates contact with me again. The thing I hate is the fact that I am obsessing over this and I know that is leading me to initiate contact with her (She still replys pretty quickly). I have done this before and it hurt me badly then. I just don't know why I can't just not think about it. Because of this recent one, i was able to recollect past scenarios where I got too obsessive over possibly losing someone or blowing a chance. Does anyone think this is normal? Unhealthy?

Secondly. I want to thank everyone that posts on this site. I am not always the most positive person, but if it wasn't for this website, I probably would have never gotten good insight into what Aspergers and Autism really is. I would have never known what my strengths and weaknesses are and would not have a good idea on how to control myself. Everyone here for the most part has shared some good ideas and information.

bumped

I know noone replied... But I really don't care. I tried an approach today and directly asked her through text if she was still interested. What I got is "I am, but not looking for a relationship considering that I have been in and out of them often within the last few years." "I just want to have fun and see where things take me" "I love having you around and enjoy being with you" and "You may have met me at a bad/difficult time in my life" To sum it up, who knows if I am the right guy or ever will be. This just tells me to explore my options and I know how difficult that will be for me too. This seemed to settle down my obsessive thoughts.